…this is a poem about the horror and ethical dilemma that is war, and the devastating impact it can have on the minds and hearts of soldiers sent into battle…
My eyes
crisp red
from the scalding sun
from devastation’s fires
from cruel visions
of relentless horror
my eyes take refuge
in this late evening dew
scented with munitions
settling like a shroud
wet
opaque
obscuring
I am sustained
by this damp cool pall
that descends upon me
wraps ‘round me
‘round my pain
my struggling countenance
fevered with fatigue
deafened by weapon’s roar
crippled with despair
driven
by faint memory of honor
of duty
of human dignity
I stumble
broken by this sin I shoulder
this perversion
not of my making
but of my charge
now my sin
conceived and unleashed
by soulless others
who would impose their brutish will
their twisted vision
their malignant agenda
of domination
those who would take it all
wear the conqueror’s crown
who would rule the world
a world now broken
corrupted by their distorted vision
spoiled by their vanity
a world in chaos
I have but this bloodied
ruin-riddled road
of descending twilight
mortal urgency
of dying dreams
crushed innocence
destruction
death
decay
this road
of my duplicity
of my guilt
my shame
and so I stumble on
mindlessly muttering
mea culpa
mea culpa
parce mihi deus
saturated
with this falling evening
with this drenching sorrow
exhausted
vaguely alert
nerves shattered as eggshells
numb to panic
hollow
empty
I stumble
into this coming night
I stumble
and the next night
and the night that follows
that always follows
captive on this road of murder
of mounting evil
of horrific violence
of brutal human arrogance
I stumble
prisoner
of this foresaken journey
so lost
seeking forgiveness
*
rob kistner © 2021
Poetry Pantry at: Poets & Storytellers
