This weekend past, I had gotten word that another of my friends had passed. It hit me quite hard. He was one of my oldest friends, in both age and duration. Today I have been staring out the window a lot, watching the November rain, deeply saddened. When I sat down to read Laura’s prompt here, this unfinished draft of a poem came to mind, and began to again stir within. I was moved with the inspiration to complete it, so I’d like to share it. It is certainly more than Laura suggested, but I had to get it out. If it is longer than you care to read, no problem, just skip it — but thanks for visiting.
There are days
when fading memory flickers
that I still can feel
the breeze of yesterday
gently stir my soul
wonderful days remembered
of grace and lightness
of friends beloved
those days of … “when”
when all we touched was fresh and new
and the world was full of wonder
when we were certain we’d live forever
our strength made each day a great adventure
when we had only heard the word pandemic
and never imagined it would happen to us
when we believed in our chosen leaders
if not every word, at least their good intent
when faith in truth sparked splendid dreams
and the amazing future stretched before us
those wonderful years of possibility
the years we witnessed
one for the other
as we made vows
to our chosen life mates
raised our children
grew our careers
our families close
through all those years
but that was then
in those days of … when
now I’ve grown old
unyielding
rigidly braced
against the winds
of time and fate
my soul is uprooted
by life’s growing madness
I search its blessings
curse its sadness
these are brittle years
I am bent by the yoke of worry
heavy with the weight of loss
frustrated by my lack of wealth
struggling with my fickle health
I am haunted by the ghost of memory
a memory I must now fight hard to keep
through these lonely days
when I think of — when
these empty days
when I think of old friends
how can this void be filled
when those so vital
have near all departed
this world denied
of your wit and wisdom
so much kindness
and love lost
as each — you passed
seems no good lasts
how can this void be filled
when your brilliant lights
have been snuffed out
how…
by not forgetting
I remember you all
I remember you now
and all those days
of all those years
that is how I fill this void
with the seeds of friendship
you planted deep
inside my heart
now filled with sorrow
may they continue growing
even here in my winter’s light
to make me kinder
make me gentler
make me more grateful
before the dark of night
falls hard
and halts my faulted pace
good-bye my friends departed
I see you now
face after face
ever will I tend these seeds
and think of when
there were days of you
as long as embers
of my memory smolder
you are remembered
I will not forget
*
rob kistner © 2021
Poetry at: dVerse