•
so as not to lose my mind
to prevent my sorrow
from choking the life
from my soul
to know what I really think
to ride the currents of my joy
and laughter
to track my growth
share what I have experienced
shed light on my ignorance
to leave my trace
expose my vulnerability
in hopes others won’t rebuke
banish
or hurt me
but rather see me worthy of mercy
of love
to see me not so unlike themselves
and have pity
because there is an urge
to break the mental silence
to make a din
create a literate clatter
to be certain I am not ignored
forgotten
or misunderstood
because I am sad
I am crazy
I am odd
I am insecure
I am lonely
frightened
cursed
clever
because I am thrilled
full of life
nearing death
desperate to know
confident in my knowledge
because I am entangled
and strangled
by the why of it all
because I can
and so that I might
for all of this
I write
and to survive
I have no choice
• • •
rob kistner © 2010