She walks to the sea by her home
as the bright golden sunshine shown
slips into the sea all alone
heart cold as stone — heart cold as stone
all alone with her fractured dreams
tears glistening in the sun’s beams
she’s been pushed beyond her extremes
no more she screams — no more she screams
so silently she swims away
on this beautiful summer day
she’s got nothing much left to say
she just can’t stay — she just can’t stay
she has cried and cried and denied
the horrible lies they implied
distraught — she slipped under the tide
said no goodbye – fragile she died
April 14th 2017, at 2:00 AM, while in Evergreen Hospital, Kirkland WA, recovering from heart surgery — my heart stopped beating. I was saved by the efforts of their Code Blue team. That morning, a pacemaker was implanted in my heart. I began this poem not long after that, and finally finished it for this prompt.
Now at 74, I am no longer young
and I’ve become a little angry
temper’s short — health is shot
and my heart beat stopped last night
fortunately — right place right time
in the hospital following surgery
fate’s given me another chance
guess I had better get it right
I’ve borrowed bought and sold
lived in lotsa’ shades of grey
I damn near leveraged my soul
just to play this fleeting game
I have not always been so kind
played a little fast and loose
spent so much time chasing fortune
too much time pursuing fame
I pray I’ll not end up an old man
gazing lonely out my window
trying hard just to remember
exactly how long it has rained
not sitting silent by the fire
deeply mired in consternation
wondering if all that I have lost
was worth what it was I gained
what I gained is more than gold
probably more than I deserve
I have been given a precious gift
the love of a daughter and two sons
the miracle of a gorgeous grandson
the warmth of a loving family
I have so many lives to cherish
my heart beats strong for every one
This is a pair of poems I offer for your consideration for today’s (July 22nd) OLN – Live. they deal with two my views of life on earth. Read one, or both, and comment, should you wish, under the one(s) you’ve read. I will be reading “The City” today.
This city is in my blood
this city
that vibrates
with the rush and chaos
of synapse and sinew
this city
that vibrates
with the hum of networked urgency
data outdistancing comprehension
often the we can
beyond the reach
of should we
this city
teeming
with college’d clones
like-patterned minds
that surge with ambition
that submit to the agendas
good or bad
dreaming of early retirement
fearing an early death
this city
bedecked in stainless
and stone
poured
erected
glassen’d
this city
ablaze in halogen
aglow in neon
awash in tears
of the poor
this city
its haughty monoliths
of varying shape
differing size
flanked in concrete corridors
that criss and cross
blink and beep
that ring buzz belch hiss
— and stink
this city
that intimidates
in cold and calculated majesty
this city that amazes
this city that abuses
this city is in my blood
but it does not
hold my soul
no
it does not offer solace
to my human core
that seeks the folded petal’s mystery
that marvels at the smallness
of a changing frond
at the tart-sweet scent’d
gnarled bark
of mighty conifer monoliths
thrusting ever skyward
or the magic
of a budding branch
this city
does not touch my spirit
soothed by wind and water
thrilled by song of birds
or the swoop of hawks
this city
does not spark my wonder
stirred by the yelp
or bark
or bleat
of beasts
this city
cannot reach my soul
that needs to see a salmon’s trek
the open sky
the roll of unobstructed clouds
see the fall of stars
this city
has nothing for my soul
that needs to hear the crack of thunder
resound for miles across the plane
then off the mountain’s face
that needs the fresh embrace of rain
the crisp and quiet drift of snow
the hues and sway of living fields
this city
leaves my spirit cold
that needs to watch the orchard
blossom and bloom to fruit
see forests
thick beyond horizons
or feel the lift of cresting surf
no
this city
does not satisfy my need
to know the evolving natural wonders
that inspire
that swell my soul
that resonate my heart
this city is in my blood
but it does not hold my soul
~ we decide which is real, and which is an illusion ~
As people live more and more in the screens of our myriad electronic devices, and less and less in the realtime, face to face world — we find it easier and easier to dismiss each other with a simple swipe or touch of those screens, or an on/off button. We are becoming more and more 2D “virtual”, and less and less 3D “real”. Even evolving 3D screen devices present a surreality. We are living more and more in a conjured world — in cities of the mind.
It is a dangerous subconscious dehumanization, and in that, a subtle devaluation of each other, as flesh and blood. We have become more or less electronic entities we can have appear and disappear at whim and will. The internet, cable, and dish onslaught of things to attract us and distract us, via the “instantaneous streaming” of significant elements of our reality(s), create fewer and fewer ‘whole’ things in which we are substantively grounded, making much of our daily life ethereal, temporary, and superficial.
We are bombarded daily by unfounded supposition, opinions, dogmas, and blatant scripted lies; as well as immersive presentations of fantasy realities via movies, commercials, and video games. This occurs to such a degree that reality has become fluid — perceived truth has become relative. All of this leads further to dehumanization and devaluation of “real” human life.
We face an incredibly volatile situation, perfect for abandonment of a sense of responsibility for the real world, our earth in which we physically live — hence the acceleration of ecological disasters and burgeoning environmental collapse we are now witnessing. It also makes it much easier, through mislead and subterfuge, for evil, exploitive agendas to take root. Agendas that can develop into very serious real world social exploitation — hence, the growing Trump nightmare, and the other demagogs that have begun sprouting forth in society. So just where are we now? These are tense, dangerous, and potentially explosive times in which we live. Ours has become an ever more fragile world.
truth has become smoke
reality’s now fluid
my life’s untethered
We are not “in charge” of earth — we must learn to be in balance.
W hen we begin to believe
we have risen to favor
and privilege
above the humble
bloody afterbirth
of our origin
when in our reflection
we see perverse transcendence
towards entitlement
in which no allegiance
or kinship to nature
binds us to our center
when our insanity
of magnified human arrogance
so distorts our vision
of the sacred ancient balance
so twists our vision
of our place in
or our inherent responsibility
to protect
the bone-broken reality
of the natural order
when we blatantly begin
to eat our own
while copulating
with false gods
on forsaken gilded altars
of rampant greed
of earthly neglect
of gluttoness abuse
of planetary resources
of utter disregard
for the sanctity of life
all life
then the hour of extinction
is certainly at hand
and we’ve all become
the hulking mass
of the apocalypse
deserving to be struck down
by the self-inflicted rapier
of raw wild justice
