Read’n Rite’n & Roll’n d’Bones

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Crowding children back into classrooms this coming autumn and winter, as the elusive DELTA VARIANT is driving another major spike in the current raging pandemic, a spike that is even more contagious and lethal than the original outbreak — is blatantly absurd and socially irresponsible. Our youngest are not vaccinated, and we truly do not know just how easily they may become contagious carriers, or they themselves suffer some longterm personal health issues — or worse. I am so torn knowing my grandson Alex, who comes down to visit me everyday, will be heading off to 2nd grade unprotected, on Wednesday. Love that little man so!

Adult humans do, at our best, continue to demonstrate arrogance, impatience, careless irresponsibility, and blatant ignorance in the face of this deadly scourge. Even the easiest, most basic gesture of consideration for others, wearing a mask, foolishly ignored — turning an act of public safety for the community, into some selfish statement of defiance. Humans are turning common sense into a deadly political confrontation, masqueraded as “human rights”?!

And now we are putting the health and safety of our children, as well that of our society as a whole, in mortal danger, by making them pawns in this “rush back to imagined normalcy”. Why? Because we find the necessary continued actions to effectively protect the human right to life — inconvenient, bothersome or confining. Attached to a respirator in a hospital bed, is more confining. A coffin in a grave is far more confining — permanently!

Listen, we have no idea what the “COVID surge-affect” of these massive moves away from safety, already undertaken, will ultimately cause. We do see emergency rooms being strained to breaking again. We see disease and death rates dramatically spiking again, and we see human adults acting like spoiled children, refusing to get vaccinated. Or simpler yet, to mask up! Now we are going to play Russian roulette with our children!

I hope I am just overreacting, but the evidence of the past 18 months tells me there is cause for genuine concern. Time to batten down again until we actually wipe out, or effectively contain COVID, and it’s ongoing mutations — at least to the degree we have with the flu. We still do not understand this COVID in the same way we do the flu. This is not the time to up the stakes in this gamble with the health and the lives of the human race, by rolling our innocent children out like dice!

we must protect life
let’s not make life a dice game
COVID holds d’bones
Autumn’s leaves should be what falls
don’t gamble with the children

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: dVerse

Symbiosity


I penned a new word to represent the intertwined nature of love.

 

What I said was
don’t touch
go away
leave me be

while inside
I cried out
draw near
stay with me

you are light
you are pure
you are joy
you are free

I am not
I am dark
I am beast
but now I see

like day
needs the night
like shore
defines the sea

like light
needs darkness
there’s only cold
if there’s heat

requires two
different notes
blended for
pure harmony

we can never
be divided
that is a
fool’s fallacy

like the yin
and the yang
of a wise
philosophy

we exist
only together
I’m in you
you’re in me

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: The Sunday Muse

Creative writing at: Poets & Storytellers

Poetry at: dVerse

 

This has nothing to do with the poem, but if you want to spend an incredible 90 minutes with Joni — I cordially invite you to do so.

Comes Love


 

Here I lived at light’s edge
that pooled in the night
on the bleak winter’d streets
of the sad brokenhearted

I hid in the anguish
of the loveless who cowered
in the dark nightmare alleys
of lost love departed

I fed on the grief
of the ravens that wailed
in the brittle bare branches
of tangled dead promise

this was my heartscape
black as mid-winter night
lightless and leafless
no sun shone above

’til a sad beautiful being
eyes lonely — but true
approached from afar
stirring something remembered

the kindled encounter
saw desire’s spark ignite
long neglected — unexpected
a flame flickered in the embers

afraid to come forward
I held outside the glow
but your tenderness drew me
stirring thoughts of sweeter days

your light pierced my darkness
your warmth thawed my soul
your passion stoked love’s coals
my frozen heart burst to blaze

it was love come
to incinerate my blues
there was nothing I could do

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: The Sunday Muse

Creative writing at: Poets & Storytellers

 

My Shadow


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Hidden from the light of day
here your other self resides
though keeping to the shadows
you know that your dark self abides
you feel him at times — don’t you
feel that his dark thoughts are true

a darkling essence
scarred and damaged
sometimes so strong
barely managed
begotten in another time
another life
rife with fear
with pain and strife
come from far away
from another place
but this dark entity
does wear my face
yes — I see

it is an anger
powerfully manifest
righteous
so long suppressed
that could not find effective voice
to save my ruined innocence
I had not the strength
not the choice

I was silent when I had no name
for what I did not comprehend
I knew I must not shoulder blame
but what to do

I now realize it was my youthful trust
that was betrayed
in these ways
so insidious

sadly was this torment done
by the hand of an entrusted one
concealed from blind society
to inflict hurt and animosity

yet
why do I feel conflicted

I know my molten dark self
I had to forge
in that fire of dire adversity
I hammered out my hardened soul
tempered by survival’s hand
by desperate necessity

look here
look deep into your heart
and see

you rose and fought that abject fear
cradled within your broken heart
you lifted yourself from that veil of sorrow
so as to cling to your peace of mind
to your sanity
to see your way to one more tomorrow
to embrace your courage one more day
to finally stand and say —

no more
no
more

so why do I
feel quilt
for the shame
for the tears I spilt

be quiet, my soul
my dark shadow self
saved my life — I know

am I hardened — yes some
but I’m not stone
I have found real love
I no longer face a life alone

when I look inside myself
what is it that I see
beyond the shadows

I see a man
who better understands
his shadow
his dark self
has it now in his command
who has come through
come true
no guilt

I wonder —
did this darkness that enveloped me
cost me my dignity

no — thankfully
it did not

I need not worry
I’ve a firm grasp on my integrity
so be quiet my soul
he saved me —
my shadow

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: dVerse

 

To Wonderwall

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…here — the birth of magic…

 
When I seek the fantastic
only to wonderwall will I go
nothing here is impossible
disbelief’s forbidden though
everything here is so amazing
real mysteries here to know

your imagination is set a’flow
here — no unreasonable idea
dreams and wishes big and small
wonderwall will grant them all


*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: dVerse

 


Sometimes it is wonderful to turn from the intellect — and just embrace the id!

That Freefall

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…the heart wants what the heart wants…

 
W e’re in love
with falling in love

it’s the most captivating
intoxicating
human experience

that thrilling
first freefall
of love’s roller coaster

it is pleasure
beyond measure

should the ride end
the heart often rides again

love lures
with the memory
of that freefall

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: dVerse

 

Shu’dup


 

Yo — I’m d’cat
lost m’damned hat
I’m snocker’d n’sleepy
n’ I’m worn flat

juked myself bleary
jived myself crazy
I’m wasted n’weary
n’way beyond hazy

just gonna sit here
restin’ m’head
when the room has stopped spinin’
it’s home — and t’bed

I’m pissed n’frustrated
don’t bother me — pleeez
lost m’damned hat
now can’t find m’keys

m’head aches so shu’dup
I mean it — not a peep
really not in d’mood
crap – I’m fallin’ asleep

can’t keep m’eyes open
ain’t drinkin’ n’more
lost m’hat and m’keys
now can’t find d’damned door

m’takin’ a cat nap
m’so totally done for
g’night — gonna curl up
right here on d’dance floor

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: The Sunday Muse

Creative writing at: Poets & Storytellers

 

Wonderwall

NOTE: To fully grasp the feeling of this poem, I suggest it almost essential you experience, in total, at least one of the fractal videos you will find below.

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“Come with me and you’ll be iin a world of pure imagination” – Anthony Newley

 

Fantastic is this spell I’m under
magic of a splendorous kind
a world of cornucopic wonder
treasure troves of dreams to plunder
in this kingdom of my mind

to magical mystical ports of call
no longer tethered to mere mortal
high above the wonderwall
swept up in miracle protocol
full sail through mystery’s portal

on an amazing fractal odessey
beyond all one can imagine
a truly alternate reality
a splendid spellcast amalgamy
rolling out to fold in deep again

an infinite fractal paradise
that takes an enlightened eye to see
geometric forms flow so precise
near organic — they grow so concise
a creative energy pure and free

here I see a place enchanted
a world my mind can but beget
wonder is by awe supplanted
no limit to the marvels granted
what I observe — I’ll ne’er forget

by fantasy’s elaboration
through stars of wonder I ascend
soar in sweet hallucination
in ships of my imagination
oh, would this dream but never end

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: dVerse

Do check out: mindlovemisery’s menageries

Creative writing at: Poets & Storytellers

 

~ I invite you through the wonderwall on these fantastical trips. ~

Scarcity of Miracles

I was inspired to write this by one of my favorite of Robert Fripp’s King Crimson “Pojekts”. I then decided to extract sections from 3 different poems I have written over the past years, beginning with my poem “Awe” from 2007. I then edited and revised these borrowed sections, melding them together with wholly new poetic bridges. This is my vision of where the world may be heading, if we don’t pull our heads out into the light — and pretty damned wuickly.
N.B. — Be warned, this is a dark vision, full of reflections on how beautiful this earth is — and lamenting how it should always have remained such.


 

Vividly
I remember

I remember when it happened
remember well
the all-defining fire mark in time
that forever divided then
from now

the moment of the horrific pronouncement
when all the world’s atmospheric agencies
and all the world’s environmental agencies
and the world governments
unequivocally agreed

…the earth has passed the tipping point
soon this planet
will no longer support human life
no more monies will be spent
in this undeniably failing effort
to keep earth habitable
for our human species
now all funds will go
towards a massive plan to escape
in order that our species might survive…

fuuuck! we are such stupid assholes!
we finally did it!
you know — with our human track record
no plan is going to help us survive — ourselves
feels like a damned expensive, fruitless waste

couldn’t shake those angry thoughts back then
when first I heard the disheartening news

truth be told
I was very angry — but not totally shocked
and I am still not certain we understand
what it will take to ever survive

perhaps our journey from the atomic age
through the nuclear age
into our current digital age
has sent our human species
irretrievably off the rails
but nothing I can do about it

I now just spend my time alone
walking up along this forested valley
that is our southern property line

my eyes drifting up the crystal waters
of the clear mountain stream
that rolls towards me
crisp and pure

I then cast my eyes upwards
to the very tops
of the powerful Douglas Firs
and the elegant Western Cedar
as I pass slowly by

they stand proud
at the river’s edge
sentries for centuries
protecting this boundary of our lands
steady and enduring
yet always supple in the winds
that waft and quicken
whispering the breath of life
into this pristine realm

as I walk
my tears glisten
we are such damned fools
we have finally done it

two years on now
since that ominous
worldwide news conference

but I never can forget
the chill in my bones
that penetrating feeling
in those mind-numbing moments
when I realized

it’s over

global panic has since ensued
cities worldwide are collapsing
humans gone insane
ugliness I do not wish to witness
so I remain isolated

isolated with my memories
random memories
like the beauty of an opening rose
or the wonder of an unfurling frond

or the tart-sweet scent
of mighty conifer giants
thrusting ever skyward

or the magic
of a budding branch

of how my spirit
is soothed by wind and water
thrilled by the song of birds
or the swoop of hawks

of how my fascination
is stirred by the yelp
or bark
or bleat
of beasts

or how my soul stirs
at seeing a salmon’s trek
here in this stream

or gazing into the open sky
watching the roll of unobstructed clouds
thrilling at the fall of stars

or hearing the crack of thunder
resound for miles across our valley
then off the mountain’s face

or how I love the embrace of rain
the crisp and quiet drift of snow
the hues and sway of living fields

or love watching our orchard
blossom and bloom to fruit

gazing upon these forests
thick beyond horizons
or feeling the lift of cresting surf

now I amble alone
alone with my precious memories
of these natural wonders
that inspire
that lift my soul
that resonate my heart

that could have continued
should have continued
still

but…

damnit to hell…

this was an eden
but we proved a stubborn
stupid species

we would not listen
and now
now paradise is dying
at our careless hands

and now I am alone
too long alond
too long since I have shared
this beautiful mountain stream
with another’s eyes
or found my voice
to exclaim its wonders

yet still
I ramble this valley
wade this stream
given to jabbering quietly
to no one in particular
at the ragged edge of coherence
hoping for a response
a response assuring me
that this is just a nightmare

but only comes the murmur
of this constant stream

I have held my mind
in good humor
but not all have

reports of continuing suicides
murders
robberies
kidnap
rapes
humans unhinged

but I remain
tethered to the waning hope
that this can’t possibly
all be coming to an end

a hope
buoyed by the majesty of these forests
that climb their way skyward
with the patience
with the persistence
of the ages

but each day
the horrifying realization
muddles my mind
suffocates my soul

we {{{ have }}} destroyed it all

the world burns more and more
year after year
with more intensity each year

we need a miracle
but sadly
there is a scarcity of miracles

tonight
I will again
sit alone
in my room
in the soft light of the fire
I’ll cry
and wonder — why

we had all the warnings
more than enough
and we had the time
but we were
so
fucking
arrogant

perhaps
this beautiful
magical world
this amazing paradise
would have been much
much better off
without us

 
*

rob kistner © 2021

Poetry Inspired by Ecological Change: Earthweal

 

Roar of Clouds

 

Gone are the days when clouds were either bright or dark. Bright meant good weather, dark meant inclement weather. Now they’re piss yellow, soot black, flame orange, and shades of steel blue sorrow. But these clouds are clearly foreign, such an exotic clutter, against the blue cloth of the sky. They signify disaster.

These bizarre colored clouds are rising much more often over western North America, as thousands upon thousands of forested acres are consumed by fire — at an alarming increase every year. More and more homes and human lives, are now impacted.

This devastating aberration of nature’s necessary, constructive wildfires, is the result of careless, human-driven global climate change — as are ever increasing unnatural disasters around planet earth. We humans are certainly doing our ignorant, irrespondible best to accelerate the current Holocene extinction — and make certain our species is included. Look it up!

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: dVerse

 

Oh Dog



Guido Vedovato — “Self-Portrait With Accordion”

 

What have I done dog
fool am I
what have I done
I have let our love song die

when the fire of love
flickers dims and dies
and a shadow falls
deep in darkened eyes
hollow words of love
become but empty lies

and dog, like a fool, I have lied
I watch as our love song died

that open door
of her tender heart
has swung quietly closed
round the fragile part

she has locked me out dog
turned her back

what once was sweet and effortless
can never again feel right
and the fall began so near unseen
as though but the passing of night

my heart is broken dog
my worthless heart

I remember this morning
no dawn broke
not tenderness nor warmth awoke
a loneliness encircled slow
I sought the one that I love so
but no — dog no
she has turned away
she is fed up dog
no longer does she hear my love song

at night she’s still
within arm’s reach
but I sense the void
I feel the breach

these nights
she still shares my bed
I roll and turn
then lift my head
I search her face
in the predawn glow
whose eyes those are
I no longer know

she sees me blankly dog
her stare is hollow

I feel such tears
I need to fight dog
can’t run away
I gotta stay

love’s slowly dying
night after night
I know we will never again
be right

like a piercing painful clarity
I feel it dog
I know
I know

last night she slept so quietly
but I fear her heart left long ago

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: The Sunday Muse

 
https://youtu.be/tYIYIVG64C4

Sing Out


… a song is but a little thing — and yet what joy it is to sing…


This is me in 1961. Lead singer of surf music band, the Triptides.


This is me in 1964. Lead singer of the R&B group, Brothers Royal.


This is me in 1967. Lead singer of hard rock group, Stone Fox.


Me in 1974, as punk persona Myles R. Gyles, doing insane rock&roll.


Me (standing) in 1980. Lead singer of jazz/rock band Qruze Quintet.

 
When life has lost its harmony
a simple song is where to start
sing — and laughter will light your day
a joyful chorus will lift your heart

if strife makes you feel you’re lost
a sweet melody will find your way
a joyful chorus will lift your heart
sing — and laughter will light your day

if you find your mind is full of worry
a tune will make the dark clouds part
sing — and laughter will light your day
a joyful chorus will lift your heart.

a cheerful whistle if you feel low
sadness flees when you sing and play
a joyful chorus will lift your heart
sing — and laughter will light your day

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: dVerse

 

Here’s to the amazing man who has made the whole world sing for nearly 60 years:


 

Mea Culpa

…this is a poem about the horror and ethical dilemma that is war, and the devastating impact it can have on the minds and hearts of soldiers sent into battle…


My eyes
crisp red
from the scalding sun
from devastation’s fires
from cruel visions
of relentless horror

my eyes take refuge
in this late evening dew
scented with munitions
settling like a shroud
wet
opaque
obscuring

I am sustained
by this damp cool pall
that descends upon me
wraps ‘round me

‘round my pain
my struggling countenance
fevered with fatigue
deafened by weapon’s roar
crippled with despair

driven
by faint memory of honor
of duty
of human dignity
I stumble
broken by this sin I shoulder
this perversion
not of my making
but of my charge

now my sin

conceived and unleashed
by soulless others
who would impose their brutish will
their twisted vision
their malignant agenda
of domination

those who would take it all
wear the conqueror’s crown
who would rule the world

a world now broken
corrupted by their distorted vision
spoiled by their vanity
a world in chaos

I have but this bloodied
ruin-riddled road
of descending twilight
mortal urgency
of dying dreams
crushed innocence
destruction
death
decay

this road
of my duplicity
of my guilt
my shame

and so I stumble on
mindlessly muttering
mea culpa
mea culpa
parce mihi deus

saturated
with this falling evening
with this drenching sorrow
exhausted
vaguely alert
nerves shattered as eggshells
numb to panic
hollow
empty
I stumble

into this coming night
I stumble

and the next night
and the night that follows
that always follows

captive on this road of murder
of mounting evil
of horrific violence
of brutal human arrogance
I stumble
prisoner
of this foresaken journey

so lost

seeking forgiveness

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry Pantry at: Poets & Storytellers

 

Eden Lost

These photos and poem, are of our former Oregon home grounds in the Cascade Mountain foothills. That is my wife Kathy standing under, and peering up into our 2 giant banana palms. This was our little eden for 25 years, from 1990.“

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Drifting back in time
memory has settled at a cherished place
in my beloved former Oregon home
of 25 years

it is the large window
overlooking the amazing garden
that my wife Kathy meticulously created

through this window
remembered so vividly this day
I see the scurry of creatures
warmed by the Oregon summer

I hear nature
in splendid voice

the chuff
of a tree’d red squirrel

the song
chirp
and trill of birds

chickadee
goldfinch
western bluebird
a striking red-headed
yellow-winged
western tanager
and others

fly
flutter
and flit

in a flash of orange
a striking northern flicker
momentarily eschewing insects
is peck peck pecking
cracking black-oil sunflower seeds
that spill from our feeder

a red-tailed hawk
calls
kee-eeeee-arr
kee-eeeee-arr
from atop a Sitka spruce
swaying
in the crisp blue sky

the muffled belling of a deer
wandering the safety of old-growth
whispers
through the foothills

the distant bark
of a neighbor’s dog
echoing the basin
up along our stream
joined by scattered laughter
reminds me
we have friends nearby
good friends

my wife’s
gentle laughter
acknowledges the friendship

her tender smile
validates our love

the rustle of leaves
stirred by the breeze
wafting through the valley

smartly punctuated
by the staccato
of conifer cones
that fall
from time to time
wrested free by chickaree
and chipmunk
chattering high in Douglas fir
busy with their forage

I clearly recall the
wap wap wap

they bounce off our roof
striking the ground

closely followed
by the scamper
of their liberators
crunching their way
to the heart-meat of the cone
the delicacy
that elicits this furious industry

drifting in the window
intoxicating fragrances

cedar
pine
fir

lily
rose
lilac

grasses
loam
and more


a rich
earthy bouquet

I breathe in
deeply

a heady smile

lost in my reverie
remembering

sweetly remembering
a place lost in time

*
rob kistner © 2021

Poetry at: dVerse