Hidden from the light of day
here your other self resides
though keeping to the shadows
you know that your dark self abides
you feel him at times — don’t you
feel that his dark thoughts are true
a darkling essence
scarred and damaged
sometimes so strong
barely managed
begotten in another time
another life
rife with fear
with pain and strife
come from far away
from another place
but this dark entity
does wear my face
yes — I see
it is an anger
powerfully manifest
righteous
so long suppressed
that could not find effective voice
to save my ruined innocence
I had not the strength
not the choice
I was silent when I had no name
for what I did not comprehend
I knew I must not shoulder blame
but what to do
I now realize it was my youthful trust
that was betrayed
in these ways
so insidious
sadly was this torment done
by the hand of an entrusted one
concealed from blind society
to inflict hurt and animosity
yet
why do I feel conflicted
I know my molten dark self
I had to forge
in that fire of dire adversity
I hammered out my hardened soul
tempered by survival’s hand
by desperate necessity
look here
look deep into your heart
and see
you rose and fought that abject fear
cradled within your broken heart
you lifted yourself from that veil of sorrow
so as to cling to your peace of mind
to your sanity
to see your way to one more tomorrow
to embrace your courage one more day
to finally stand and say —
no more
no
more
so why do I
feel quilt
for the shame
for the tears I spilt
be quiet, my soul
my dark shadow self
saved my life — I know
am I hardened — yes some
but I’m not stone
I have found real love
I no longer face a life alone
when I look inside myself
what is it that I see
beyond the shadows
I see a man
who better understands
his shadow
his dark self
has it now in his command
who has come through
come true
no guilt
I wonder —
did this darkness that enveloped me
cost me my dignity
no — thankfully
it did not
I need not worry
I’ve a firm grasp on my integrity
so be quiet my soul
he saved me —
my shadow
*
rob kistner © 2021
Poetry at: dVerse