~ never break the heart of a clown ~
“Gaze upon me
if you will
my countenance crafted
to fool
and thrill
I’ve spent years in greasepaint
fear
and sorrow
I rued the past
I dreaded tomorrow”
they call me smilin’ bob
it wasn’t intentional
you see
I only wanted her to
hear me
to know my heart
but her laughter
her hollow
taunting laughter
her mindless laughter
wouldn’t stop
it wouldn’t stop
and I needed her to hear me
to understand how I felt
but the laughing
and laughing
the incessant laughing
I simply couldn’t have the laughing
so I made it stop
now I hide behind this painted smile
now everyone is laughing
and laughing
laughing
laughing
until they ‘re not
I’ll spend my years in greasepaint
but no more fear
no regret
I shed not a tear
still hate the laughter
but no more sorrow
I rue not the past
don’t dread tomorrow
so gaze upon me
if you will
my countenance crafted
to fool
and thrill
and when you’re alone
away from the laughing din
smilin’ bob makes certain
you’ll not laugh again
*
rob kistner © 2022
Poetry at: dVerse
NOTE: These first 3 songs represent Smilin’ Bob’s decent from the impact of the laughter, which begins his frustration, down through his madness, finally to his deadly paranoia. The 4th song represents the death of his soul, that put him in his darkness.