These are the essential elements of a dream, that first occurred to me shortly after my Pacemaker was implanted — the night I was recovering in the hospital. To the best I am able, with very limited embellishment for the sake of cohesion and also dramatic impact, I have attempted to accurately reassemble these core elements, to replicate this dream. I experienced essentially the same dream when I was deep into a 30-pill regimen of Paxlovid, while suffering a high fever from COVID last year.
K a-thump ka-thump ka-thump
an odd
steadily percussive sound
coming from overhead
over which
a mysterious voice
very hard to understand
is speaking
in a hoarse whisper
I determine
or perhaps I feel
the voice is telling me
to hurry
as the thumping
appears to trail off
into the distance
I find I am alone
wading carefully
against the current
of a beautiful stream
surrounded
by what seems to be
towering
shadowy monoliths
something very massive
the feel is very ancient
I think this is…
yes —
I am trekking
in this small river
deep
in an old growth
redwood forest
I hear the splashing of water
feeling its weight
against my shins
as I slosh through it
upstream
against the brisk flow
a stir and rustle
surrounds me
I’ve the sense
I may be in mountains
I am moving slowly
against this strong current
there is a chill
but comfortable breeze
that buffets my face
shining down
through the forest canopy
there appears to be
dual suns
as I push forward
my surroundings
begin to change
a strange landscape
is gradually
morphing into being
slowly becoming
an alien environment
vivid
startling
yet fascinating
suddenly
intense
penetrating
screeching
sounding like
fingernails
scraping
and clawing at
a chalkboard
or even more like
the insane shrieking
of wild banshees
my skin crawls
my spine shivers
I feel I am flailing
helplessly falling
yet I find myself
still trudging
through the stream
surrounded now
by the scattered crackle
of fractured shards
appearing to be
flaming glass
maybe a whirl
of searing embers
it’s then I realize
lurching blooms of rolling fire
are leaping tree to tree
above my head
rushing on
as if wind-driven
a churning growl
like a relentless roar
circling and circling
in a doppler’d pulse
pressing down through the trees
a foreboding settles upon me
as growing darkness
begins to envelope me
odd shadows
like disturbing specters
come unannounced
eerie iridescent lights
begin dancing around me
as the disembodied voice
begins keening
“you do not belong
you do not belong”
its then I see
a translucent black orb
its skin alive
like a membrane of lightning
its very core
absolute solid black
like the total absence
of all existence
coming at me
upstream
from behind
panic grips me
and I try to run
but paralyzed by terror
I cannot
an ominous fog
settles round me
like a shroud
then
I am in complete darkness
absolute pitch black
the bizarre orb is coming
coming much too quickly
terrified
paralyzed by a fear
that is physically painful
I am frozen
I cannot run
the rapidly approaching sphere
begins to emit
shrill blasts
of a deafening
whining noise
it’s getting closer and closer
louder and louder
until I black out…
*
here the dream ends
as I awaken
shaken
***
rob kistner © 2023
More poetry at: dVerse