So It Must (book of sorrows)

~ If you’re haunted and hurt by past silence, be brave — speak up. ~


Original DDE™ surrealistic art: “Shadow Self” by: rob kistner © 10/17/23
 

Hidden from the light of day
here my other self resides
though keeping to the shadows
I know my dark self abides

I feel him at times — I do
feel his dark thoughts
trying to push through

a darkling essence
scarred and damaged
sometimes so strong
barely managed

begotten in another time
another life
of pain and strife

come from far away
from another place
but this dark entity
did once wear my face

it is an anger
powerfully manifest
righteous
so long suppressed


Original DDE™ surrealistic art: “Dead Piñon Tree”
by: Georgia O’Keefe © 1943

like a dead bare greying tree
sorrow stole the light from me
life’s colors went grey and dead
no joy — only distress instead

like the barren branch
that sags and sways
these days
I still see the greys

still drawn to darkness
occasionally
sweet melancholia
holds allure for me

like jagged limbs
that wind’s stripped bark-less
life’s edges at times
still a ragged starkness

but my heart’s rebounded
considerably
though at times
it still seeks sanctuary
when gripping depression
makes it necessary
thank heavens
for my pharmacy

trust for me is hard
I am always wary

but I’m not stone
I live with family alone

I’m introspective to a degree
when I look inside of me
I see beyond the sorrows
gone are the haunting shadows

I see a man
who better understands
that life runs
on its own plans

and if your struggles
start really growing
try riding the horse
in the direction it’s going


Original DDE™ surrealistic art: “Breaking Out”
by: rob kistner © 10/18/23

I broke out of
my shadow’d shell
yet I know my dark self
pretty well
enough to know
it will always dwell

I’ve bartered
with my dark self
to feign command
to appear to have
the upper hand
I get to ask
the big questions
and make the big stands

such as

does this darkness
that coexists in me
cost me my dignity

I say not

I’ve a firm grasp
on my integrity
at least
to the best of my ability

I closed the book of sorrows
troubling pages
the worst of the storm
no longer rages

my scars are here
as my reminders
to never again
live in blinders

look evil square
between the eyes
see through the dark disguise
never let fear paralyze

I keep focused
on the bright tomorrows
I keep tightly shut
that big bad
book of sorrows

I embrace the love
and shun my crazy
and so it must
and will always be


Original DDE™ surrealistic art: “Book Of Sorrows”
by: rob kistner © 10/17/23

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rob kistner © 10/17/2023
Poems at: dVerse