Successful as a younger man
the grind became my home
and I
a conduit of worry
could I keep the crazy pace
years spun wild as a top
around faster
ever faster
life layering its patina
etched deeply in my face
suddenly no longer young
now looking back from 75
ever grateful to be alive
I’ve known triumph
I’ve known tragedy
they’ve marked me deeply
but not the same
I’ve begged
borrowed
bought
and stole
strayed through several shades of grey
I have leveraged my eternal soul
just to play this fleeting game
I pray
I will not end an old man
gazing lonely out my window
trying hard
just to remember
exactly how long it has rained
not sitting silent
by the fire
lost in somber contemplation
wondering if all I lost
was worth the cost
of what it was I gained
so
if I am not he
then
who am I
I am my memories
that huddle ’round me
soft and gentle
some dim
some vivid
through all my days
and all my nights
memories
from quite near
and far into the past
drift forward
mingled rich
through the years
their embrace
is soothing
warm as the sun
memories of others
I’ve been blessed to love
a tender tear
for every one
the places
I have been
the wonders
these hazel eyes have seen
the joys
that painted me
so brightly
the sorrows
that taught me
the depth of life
in these memories
there is a sweetness
it holds my heart
tempered
by the touch of regret
that at times
bowed this silvered head
my heart is full
my spirit calm
a peaceful surrender
to fate’s embrace
in this moment
no tears to shed
I embrace instead
that precious
unfurled strand
from there to here
from then to now
would that these memories
never end
would that they all
begin again
but soon
the flames of recall
will falter
as the lingering embers die
no longer need for worry
no more reason to wonder why
it’s then
I’m prayer
when I am called
among the memories
when time
reaches out for me
would that I be
delivered off in peace
carried away in sleep
forever
would that I keep
all it is
I am
I am my memories
*
rob kistner © 2022
Poetry at: dVerse
Heartfelt, and excellently rendered.
Thank you Ron.
I absolutely love this poem, Rob. It is so poignant and deeply resonant particularly this part; “the joys that painted me so brightly the sorrows that taught me the depth of life.” 🙂
Thank you Sanaa. This is a significant rewritten “mash-up” if several poems I have written over the past 12 years. As it is my 75th birthday, I offered this as a memoir.
Happy Birthday, Rob! I enjoyed reading your thoughts and the “mash-up” of poetry over the years as you celebrate 75 years!! I think you will definitely keep the memories and even more, the growth and soul evolution of each year you’ve lived. I feel your heart in each verse here!
Thank you Tricia… 🙂
“I’ve known triumph
I’ve known tragedy
they’ve marked me deeply
but not the same”
These lines are so poignant and contemplative. I enjoyed your live reading of this poem Rob.
Much love…
Thank you Gillena. Much love to you my friend… 🙂
Well…what a powerful piece….full of emotions…all leading to the conclusion…hope the birthday was good….
Thank you Ain on both accounts… 🙂
“I am my memories.” So true, and so poignant. Happy Birthday, Rob! I enjoyed hearing you reading this contemplative birthday poem. I hope you have a wonderful birthday!????
(My husband says you are a great guy, too!)
Thank you Merril, 🙂 and tell your husband he’s a pretty smart guy, considering who he married… 😉
A beautiful poem.Written from the bottom of your heart,no doubt! 🙂
Thznk you Veera! 🙂
Happy Birthday! So much to contemplate as we get older…
Thank you Dana! 🙂
I am a few years younger than you, and I am starting to feel a lot of the same…
It sneaks up on you my friend… 😉