Speechless

~ Inspiration: living in the Pacific Northwest, part of the Pacific Ring, knowing we are very susceptible to a first strike — this awareness, and the instability on the Asian Continent, combined with these ‘4’ juicy quotes I used, proffered by Linda, drew this out. ~

 
When did it happen
the all-defining fire mark in time
that forever divided then from now

alone again today
lost in time
walking through the forest
wading the stream
sorting my thoughts
obsessively

recalling in horror
the instant of the startling sound
the strange light
that drew my disbelieving eyes
to the very tops of these Douglas Firs
that surround me now

and then came the second blinding flash
lighting the entire sky

“oh my god” I had gasped
“the damned fools have finally done it”
I was traumatized
by the horrible realization

she trembled
as we held each other
I thought of the future
and spoke of the past

terrified of the present

what a fool I was
what really did I know
of the times
that bookended my life
or in which I was currently immersed

knew little useful
and understood less
I was feeling old
and so unaware

I’d become obsessed
always staring into the clouds
mumbling beneath my breath
it’s better to look at the sky
than live there
such an empty place
so vague
just a country
where the thunder goes

and from which death rains

more than obsessed
I was becoming untethered

maybe the older you grow
and the less easy it is
to put thought into action
maybe that’s why
it gets all locked up in your head
and becomes a burden

makes you crazy
and angry

and I certainly was

seeing clearly my uncertainty
feeling the weight
of my growing pessimism
she left me

I just stood
mute
watching her go

civilization now in upheaval
infrastructure has collapsed
I am isolated here now
wandering
day after day
alone
very alone

home is where you feel at home
I’m still looking

since she is gone

it’s been too long
since I have seen a human face
or looked into another’s eyes
looked into her eyes
or even found my voice to speak

but it’s really of no matter
is it

what can possibly be said

*
rob kistner © 2022

Poetry at: dVerse

more poetry at: earthweal

 



20 thoughts on “Speechless”

    1. Thank you Reena, blad you felt it. Living in the Pacific Northwest part of the Pacific Ring, it is known we are very susceptible yo a first strike. This awareness, and the instability on the Asian Continent, combined with these juicy quotes, pulled this out of mr effortlessly.

  1. This is unique, original…and all too close to reality. I really felt it, from the eerie peacefulness among the Douglas Firs, that moment before the storm when you can almost feel it in the air, to the sudden horror.

    Russia has plenty of nuclear arsenal pointing right where you are talking about, near Vladivostok right next to North Korea, which is an automatic ally of that Russian horde. Nuclear subs are undoubtfully already in position should the option your poem opens up so alarmingly actually happen.

    The horrible fact remains: the amount of Russian nuclear arsenal is larger than anyone’s, and there will be hawks in the corridors of power in Moscow, Poonyang and Bejing saying now is the right time, as always.

    Provocative poetry for our thoughts…take care mate, I think it will take a while for danger to subside, and it may get just that bit more tense first…

    1. I appreciate that you felt the authenticity of this piece Ain. I am certain my fantasy world does not hold the real danger you are immersed in. I am so impressed by the courage you show doing what you do. I just hope you can stay safe in spite of the danger. Perhaps someday you will find yourself in Seattle, and we can meet and shake hands. I think I would enjoy swapping a few tales with you my friend. Please stay mindful and safe Ain love this piece you wrote, your soul was wrapped into it. 🙂

    1. Thank you Paul, glad this resonated for you. Likewise, I hope it never comes, but the tools of nuclear destruction are significantly more powerful than ever. And with Putin and Kim Jong-un, both with an arsenal of these monsters at their fingertips — who knows how far these egotistical maniacs may go?

  2. This is incredibly potent, Rob! I felt every turn of phrase, every image and resonate deeply with “I thought of the future and spoke of the past terrified of the present/what a fool I was/what really did I know
    of the times that bookended my life/or in which I was currently immersed.” Sigh..

    1. Thank you Sanaa, you are most gracious my friend. I always feel you have genuinely read what I have written, in the spirit, or certainly near the essence of the spirit and vision with which the work was written. I very much appreciate your sincerity.

  3. I do hope this never happens, Rob! You painted such a bleak scenario, which seems so real in the present times.

  4. I really felt this one, Rob – facing the reality of our situation, that we never dreamed would get this bad this fast…..and feeling alone in the midst of it, which makes us even more vulnerable. One day at a time, is how I’m doing it, grateful for each day climate disaster spares my little corner of the world – but we all know the tsunami can come any time, or wildfires, or storms………..today, at least was good here. I take what comfort I can from that. Please God, the nuclear threat does not happen.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *