Foul Wind

I wrote the core of this piece 24 years ago, as an homage to Shel Silverstein.
I’ve now significantly edited it to address Lisa’s prompt for today.


Where The Sidewalk Ends — Shel Silverstein

 
From down there
down there
it’s coming from down there

from where?
down there?

yes sis
I swear

that horrible smell
that’s filling the air
the one that’s most certainly
impossible to bear
is coming from that women
with the massive blue hair
sitting right there
on the patio chair
on the deck of the house
that’s below us
right there

what a putrid aroma
you’d think that she’d care
there are simply some things
that one never should share
like the stink that is rising
from that vat by her chair
on the deck of the house
right below us
down there

maybe I’m wrong
at least I hope I am
please
but I think in that vat
she is fermenting a cheese

ah—thn…ah—thn…ah—thn…
ah—think I’m gonna !SNEEZE!
from the grody-gross loathsome
smell’a that cheeze

not sure what kind
hope it’s not what I think
but only one kind
makes such a horrible stink

oh no dear — I’m right
I’m gonna scream bloody murder
that nasty cheese she’s fermenting
is a vile limburger

if one’s going to create
such a noxious foul stench
at least have the manners
to be a neighborly mench
and not foul the ozone
rather exhibit some pride
ferment when you’re alone
and please — do it inside

and lady — the hideous color
of that mountain of hair
I can’t help it
can’t help it
I can’t help but stare

it’s a tangled and horrible
monument to…
a disgusting and eye-blinding
shade of bright blue
and causing me a feeling
of nausea too

I must look away lady
my heads starting to whirl
between the cheese
and the hair
you’ve made my toes curl
I fear over the edge here
I’m going to hurl
and I don’t want to do that
in front of a girl

perhaps you’re chromatically challenged my friend
but consider the others that you might offend
a monumentally grotesque rat’s nest of blue
is not something anyone wants to look at on you

oh look sis — look
look again down there
that woman’s takin’ that vat
n’walkin’way from her chair

oh joy — for joy
that’s all I can say
thank our lucky stars
sis — she is goin’ away

and I hope away
she will stay
for the rest of the day

at least as long as the wind
keeps on blowing our way

*
rob kistner © 2022

Poetry at: dVerse

 

26 thoughts on “Foul Wind”

  1. I love it. It made me smile all the way through and hold my nose at times! :>) Do your remember hearing of putting limburger cheese on somone’s car engine as a prank when you were young?

    Reply

  3. Rob, I think I read the original back when you posted before (not 24 years ago, but a bit ago,) the blue hair and the stench down below was hard to forget. Great funny tale in the Silversteinian tradition!

    Reply

    1. Yes, a couple years ago I posted what was the second ever revision of the original core. The original “core” version was posted on my first ever poetry site, now inactive. Below here is the link to that prior revision you are remembering Lisa. I added the Limburger to this most current revision that I created for your prompt here.

      https://www.image-verse.com/so-blue

      Below here is the original 1999 core, that I first posted here on Image & Verse back in 2010 in response to a Magpie prompt..

      https://www.image-verse.com/over-the-edge

      Reply

  8. I’ve never even been downwind of a Limburger, but my dad used to say, when we complained about his stinky cheeses, that we should be grateful he couldn’t get hold of any Limburger.

    Reply

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