S uccessful as a younger man
the grind became my home
and I — a conduit of worry
could I keep up the crazy pace
years spun wild as a top
around faster ever faster
life layering its patina
etched deeply in my face
suddenly — no longer young
now looking back from 76
I’ve known triumph — also tragedy
both have laid down heavy licks
I’ve borrowed bought — even stole
strayed through several shades of grey
but have I leveraged away my soul
just to play this fleeting game
I pray I’ll not end up an old man
gazing lonely out my window
trying hard just to remember
exactly how long it has rained
not sitting silent by the fire
lost in somber contemplation
wondering if all I lost
was worth what it was I gained
I gained my memories
huddled ’round me
sweet and still
I cherish each one dearly
for long as I can
I will
*
Happy Thanksgiving!
May you create a lifetime of memories this holiday season.
rob kistner © 2022
Poetry at: dVerse
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! May you grow to be a better person yet each year with your cherished memories.
Thank you Grace, happy holidays to you… 🙂
I like this poem, Rob, sparse and thoughtful but not self-pitying. In fact, I liked those lines:
wondering if all I lost
was worth what it was I gained
so much I’d have ended the poem there.
That is precisely where I ended the original 2007 poem Jane, I added the addendum for this write — and I agree… it was unnecessary. 🙂 I just wanted to redirect the original to a bit more uplifting place — but I prefer my original.
One of my favorites ~ Tower of Song! Sigh. Rob, your thanksgiving poem touched every emotion within me .. so many amazing lines. These especially touched me .. “wondering if all I lost was worth what it was I gained .. so —— if I am not to be he then whom is it that I am.”
Love,
Helen
Glad you enjoyed it Helen… 🙂
I love the thought of being those memories… and I think the older you are the more you are those memories.
More and more every year, I find that to be true Björn.
Wonderful, vulnerable sharing, Rob. Never heard that U2/Leonard Cohen song before. Just right to go with your poem. Happy Thanksgiving, my friend <3
Thank you Lisa — great song isn’t it… 🙂
What a genuine write! Thank you for sharing your heart and Happy Thanksgiving <3
"I am my memories
that huddle ’round me
soft and gentle
deep and still"
"some blessings came easily
some were a tricky plight
I lovingly embrace each one
they are my heart’s delight"
Thank you Latouya, very much… 🙂
Nice lookback while still moving (positively) forward, Bro. I’m right behind you.
Pax
Thank you Ron. Happy Thanksgiving my friend.
In the end that is all we have. Hang on and treasure those memories Rob. Lovely write.
Thank you Christine… 🙂
Happy Thanksgiving, Rob, to you and yours.
May those memories wrap you in their embrace as you move ahead. 76 is young in my book as my mom is 92 and still full of vitality.
I loved your poem, my friend. Stay healthy. ??????????
Thank you Punam… may your mother’s vitality ever endure. 🙂
Another great poem Rob, can see what you wanted to do with the new ending. As they say, ever onward and upward!
It was a case of fully and wholly realizing I wanted a strong end that reflected where I am in life, and my final days.
You chart the life progress I think we all go through – our common experience, yet which each of us must (and can only) experience as an individual. How we respond to it is perhaps the crucial thing. I like your new ending for this piece. At 84, having known triumph and tragedy of my own, I find there is much joy to remember, to temper the inevitable sorrow. I’m glad to still be alive to remember it all!
Thank Rosemary… 🙂
Oops, I’ve given myself an extra year! LOL. I’ve actually only just turned 83. (But it seems unbelievable either way.)
Not to sound like a cliché, but really, where does the time go? Hope I make it to 83 Rosemary, and I hope you enjoy many more. I just watched the Elton John farewell concert. Elton is only 2 months younger than I, but he still sounds damned good.
🙂
?????????????????????
“trying hard just to remember
exactly how long it has rained”… That resonates. I think everyone can relate to those feelings. Beautifully, if poignantly, put.
Thank you Rajani…. 🙂
Memories are truly something to give thanks for: even the painful ones can lead to healing!
Like fire tempers the blade Ingrid, it’s the painful ones that make us strong.
Indeed. Couldn’t have said it better myself. I especially relate to those last lines. And I have lived this one as well: “..the grind became my home/
and I — a conduit of worry..” only with age do we learn how to let all that go.
It not a lesson easily learned, especially when the grind is how we can begin to identify ourselves for so many years.
I hope you had a Happy Thanksgiving! A heart of gratitude for the journey so far.
Peace & light my friend….
Thank you True, peace and light right back to you my friend. 🙂
Gratitude for what is is how we live out our days gracefully.
Indeed Brendan, and our nights less fitfully.
Very moving Rob, a resonance for me with Thomas’ Do Not Go Gently … the not sliding into a maudlin life, staying true to self, living, wonderful read.
Thank you Paul, very much… 🙂
I used to think that once I reached 76, every year after that would be gravy. I have 7 years to go, but I realize it is gravy now. ????
Blessings to you Su-sieee! 🙂
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving, Rob. This poem asks questions many of us have. Poignant, but with hope.
Thank you Sara… 🙂