Commiserating

What have I done dog
such a fool am I
fool on this hill
head lost in the sky
what have I done
I’ve let our love song die

when the fire of love
flickers dims and dies
and a shadow falls
deep in darkened eyes
hollow words of love
become but empty lies

and dog, like a fool
regrettably I have lied
watched ashamed and mute
as our love song died

what a foolish thing I’ve done
to have unsung our love song

that open door
of her tender heart
has swung quietly closed
round the fragile part

she has locked me out dog
turned her back
turned off her love-light
it’s gone brightly black

and dog — much to my sad chagrin
there seems to be no back door in

what once was sweet and effortless
can never truly again feel right
and the fall began so near unseen
as though but the passing of a night

my heart is broken dog
my worthless heart

I remember well this morning
when the chill dawn broke
not tenderness nor warmth awoke
a loneliness encircled slow
I reached for the one that I love so

but she shrunk away dog
does not want my touch

it’s true dog — sadly so
I’m lost for words to say
she is fed up with me dog
she has turned coldly away

at night she is still
within arm’s reach
but I sense the void
I feel the breach

yes, these nights
she still shares my bed
but when I roll and turn
then lift my head
to search her face
in the predawn glow
whose eyes those are
I no longer know

she sees me blankly dog
her stare is hollow

oh I wish I could unsay
the thoughtless words I said
could unsee her sorrow
as she turned away in bed
could unhear her tears
that echo in my head
hadn’t unsung our love song
but harmonized instead

dog — what a fool am I
to have let it die
I just stop trying
as love was dying

dog — I feel her tears
can’t simply run away
after all these loving years
can’t let it end this way

but love’s slowly dying
night after empty night
how can we be whole again
don’t know how to make it right

like a piercing painful clarity
I feel it dog
I see it
I know

oh
if I could but unknow

last night
as she lay next to me
sobbing soft and quietly
it was very clear to see

though
she had yet to go
I knew her heart
left long ago

*
rob kistner © 2023

More poetry at: dVerse