Like it was yesterday, I remember the tear in the after-market black vinyl top, with the pastel blue factory color showing through. It was my used Karman Ghia. I always wondered, “why the top?” Didn’t really care all that much, it was our ‘party bug’, and we had a ball riding around — especially the weekends when both my insane schedule, and my parental visitations coincided, enabling our quartet to sing out on the Tears For Fears songs we loved. It was the tape that wouldn’t eject, stuck permanently in the Lear Jet 8-track tape deck that rattled, at times, under the dash panel. I’d installed it best I could — but, hey… We didn’t care though, we got to know and love every tune on “Songs From The Big Chair”.
I remember I would pick your older sister up first, then quickly she and I would head to your house, and pick you boys up. The two of you would scramble into the back, and with your sister ridin’ shot gun, the four of us would cruise Cincinnati’s 7 hills, singing TFF at the top of our lungs, people peering in at us like we were crazy. We were crazy — crazy with laughter, loving our too-seldom times together. We did the same craziness on the way to my coaching your sister in soccer, and you guys in football. Also, when we all went to the movies, or to get fast food — hell, we did it all the time… and we loved it!
I occasionally dream about all of us rockin’ that old Ghia. Today we couldn’t all fit in, even if I still had it these decades later. Also today, as you know, we could be only a trio. We lost your beautiful voice much too early. Your sister, younger brother, and I were utterly devastated, and we still ache so, when we feel the void, and your missing harmony son — though we seldom are able to be together anymore. Life, time, and distance make it a most difficult challenge these days. But those rare precious moments we are able, our love still sings — and your sweet voice is still now, and will forever be, painfully missing.
but the song’s still sweet and rich
it is filled with love
*
rob kistner © 2023
Poetry at: dVerse
How moving Rob! Absence of one is all the more felt dearly as the closeness of a family is invoked. Such wonderful memories you have narrated!
Hank
Those times are deeply rooted in my soul Hank.
Rob what an achingly beautiful memory to share. {{{HUGS}}}
My insane life and schedule, and some poor love decisions I made over the years, made it too rare that my 3 children and I could all be together Lisa — but we did have a ball in that old Ghia when I could make it happen. It is one of my richest memories. It broke our hearts when we lost Aaron.
Gorgeous
Thank you David. 🙂
Wonderful memories, Rob. I used to embarrass my daughter by blasting out my favourite songs and singing along – got a few strange looks at traffic lights, too! Your haibun is so poignant and brought a tear to my eye at how much you miss your son and his harmony. The haiku says it all.
My two surviving children and I still miss Aaron deeply. July 3rd, 1995 still feels like yesterday Kim, a part of my life stopped that day. But today that part is rooted firmly in the beautiful memories. Time and family can heal much… 🙂
Wow there is the fun and tbere is the pain both heartfelt in your haibun.
Thanks for dropping by my blog.
Much????love
Yon and yang make for good vontent,,,
What can one say to that? – except: how sad, how beautiful, how full of love and even of joy.
It is now only the memory of the joy that far overshadows the sadness Rosemary. At 18 Aaron became the youth choir master of his church. Ip have his truly beautiful voice sining “Mary Did You Know” on a 28 year old VHS tape that I need to convert yo a digital file.
Such a vivid and beautiful memory, Rob! It’s probably better that we don’t waste time worrying about ‘happy times’ ending. It would keep us from being fully present when they happen. <3
Aaron’s death was a tragedy anticipated by no one. Broke all of our hearts.
I know that voice still sings in your heart Rob. Beautiful tribute.
Thank you Kerfe… 🙂 yes, it still sings in all our hearts. Aaron became the youth choir leader of his church when he was 18. At his funeral, I was presented with a VHS tape of his Quite beautiful voice, sining “Mary Did You Know”. I heard him sing it on the tape, but no longer have a VHS player, but I treasure the tape. Wish I had it in a digital file on my iPad, or on a DVD. Aaron sounded very much like the tall blonde lead vocalist of the Pentatonix group. Here is the Pntatonix beautiful version of that song. https://youtu.be/ifCWN5pJGIE
If you got hold of a VHS recorder you could play it and record it onto you iPhone or iPad like a live recording.
Thank you for your thoughts here Dwight. I just found a service localy that will convert the VHS of Aaron singing to a digital file on a thumb drive — I just need to take it to them because I fear what might happen shipping it — too precious.
A wonderful bittersweet memory, Rob. Sounds like you all had a ball. So sad to lose your son so young. But the good memories never die. They live on forever in our hearts.
Thank you Dwight. They will never die my friend.
So achingly told,,, such a voice singing along like will never be really lost though… do you ever listen to TFF these days?
He is vibrantly alive in my psyche Björn. My memory in general is not always great these days, but I can close my eyes and see Aaron, his smile, his mannerisms, almost hear him — he is indelible. Love ‘Tears For Fears’! Listen frequently. “Songs From The Big Chair” and “The Seeds Of Love” are my two favorite albums of theirs.
“Woman In Chains” is a stunningly beautiful recording featuring Oleta Adams — it’s haunting. “Rule The World” , “Mad World” , “Advice For The Young At Heart” …so many great TFF songs. The 12” Pioneer Laserdisc titled “Tears For Fears Going To California” is a live concert from Santa Barbara is one of the finest concert albums ever made, right up there with the two top concert DVD’s that Peter Gabriel made: “Secret World Live” and “Growing Up Live” that featured Paula Cole and included Peter’s daughter Melanie.
https://youtu.be/CsiS8hij7Pk
https://youtu.be/9qQD7WboZwM
tears for fears are a great band to have such wonderful memories weaved around. they live on in your heart like all loved ones.
Yes Rog, the memories are so very precious. And I think TFF had a bit of magic in their souls, especially together.
Such a beautiful write Rob, that last para was hard to read, a tear in my eye. This moved me deeply.
Thank you for your kind words Paul. That last paragraph was hard to write, but it was written with bittersweet, but positive, fond memories — filled with love… 🙂