Dwellers

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Dwellers

~

I feel you
living
breathing
thinking
deep within the confines
of my shadowy psyche

your presence is palpable
visceral

I am not alone
my emotions
obsessions
my impulses are not yet mine
exclusively

I
am not
we
are dwellers

and we are at odds
conflicted
torn between the heroic
and the horrific

dark evil urges
spawned in the blackest voids of my soul
at war with inclinations toward the sacred

a precarious balance
between the compulsion to ravage
and the wisdom to relish

between a mania to consume
and a desire to sustain

between murder
and mercy
madness
and clarity

the duality rages unchecked
struggles
against the constraints of convention
and the confusion of mindless chaos

stirring the unquenchable ache
to break the shackles of acquiescence
to rise above morality

longing for raw freedom
to unleash the beautiful beast within
the essence of natural self
to be Nietzsche’s begotten
attentive to impulse
guided by core instinct

but

I think
therefore I am

at odds
for life

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~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2012

26 thoughts on “Dwellers”

  1. Yes, a real Jacob’s ladder, your free verse address reminding me of a Bruce Cockburn line about the beauty of the ‘angel beast’ – such duality in humankind.

    1. The lean of this battle Shers marks a person’s compassion, and the fluctuation in the conflict “IS” the balance that defines the soul, that gives a person both their spiritual and their personal identity – the interflow of the yin and yang…

    1. That particular contrast is a part of the ‘duality dance’ to which I aspire here zongrik, but it is a strange dichotomy of synergism. Nietzsche aims at freeing higher human beings from their false consciousness about morality, their false belief that this morality is good for them — in this way there is a similarity in the difference between Nietzsche’s higher human and a primitive self who acts free of a defined morality, in that they both would be drawn to act without the “third person” voice of morality… both longing for a raw freedom to unleash the beautiful beast within, but each with a different perspective of that “beautiful beast”…

    1. Sherry, all human beings are selfish, in that they first see the world and their place in it, through their own eyes, through their self — it is how they first identify the temporal things in which they are immersed — it actually goes into their mouth, as if to ‘consume’ its essence, to ‘know’ all things first from that perspective of ‘mine’. Only the growth of wisdom leads a human animal to think about sharing, to leave something for others — to sustain. It is not in our initial nature, and it’s not where we turn first in our instinct for survival, as such, it remains a duality…

  2. A powerful view of the two identities we often carry within us. Even though sometimes it seems there are more than two. I like how well you’ve captured the struggle they constantly wage against each other.

    1. but PD, there are fundamentally only two perspectives we adopt in all things — we either accept, bring it into our space, or reject leave it out. This is the essence of the ‘struggle’ and helps define the duality…

    1. Laurie, I might suggest the battle goes on forever, it defines us, and the definition is not an absolute, it resides in flux — we are creatures of place time and circumstance, these change constantly, we constantly choose between the ‘to include’ or ‘to exclude’ parameters of each moment, the battle, the duality… interesting it is not generally a right or wrong, not a morality decision, though some like to express it as such. It has far more to do with what works for us and what doesn’t… raw freedom of choice…

    1. Life is sexy Tess, sensual, our moving through it — experiencing it, the touch, the smell, the sound, the look of our passing through time and space, our constant choices of what we take or what we leave, the duality of yes and no, even if unspoken — and those choices are visceral, pleasure and pain… its how we know we are alive…

    1. Walking the line is exceedingly difficult Brian, but incredibly exhilarating — constantly stepping across and back, that’s the battle, that is the joy and the pain of life, the duality…

  3. “between murder and mercy
    madness and clarity”

    With this and so much more you’ve totally captured the raw human-ness in this man’s eyes. Very well written, Rob!!

    I love the pictures and words around you and your wife!!! Very inspiring!!

  4. “Thus spake Zarathustra” , great agonising tension as tou describe the eternal war, thanks Rob

  5. This is so profound and beautifully written!
    Many a times we feel the duality within us and this has been brought out very well in this poem. Enjoyed reading it.

    Cheers!

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