Silence – two reflections

These two poetic reflections are unrelated, beyond their focus on silence. The first reflection here considers what it is to fall into the deepening silence of old age. The second reflection looks at the silence that causes, and also results from repression…

 

1ST REFLECTION

Endings

•

shrouded by evening in waning october
as autumn tumbles towards winter
is to know the losing of the light
the ever growing darkness
the advance of the cold
the time of endings
death’s due vigil
deep silence

how do I abide this season

• • •

rob kistner © 2011

2ND REFLECTION

Silenced

•

escape was an improbability
as was understanding
opinions regarding outcome
ignored altogether
fate sealed with no discourse
executed with an air of entitlement

when one has no arms to flail
no fists to clench
no fingers to point
gestures of dissent are sorely limited
rights easily wrest away
freedom falls beyond grasp

inevitable
when one has no voice

• • •

rob kistner © 2011

poem “Silenced” inspired by image below

• linked at Magpie Tales

King of Sunrise

 

King of Sunrise

•

on the boulevard below
last night’s rain puddles
midst the chaos of metro-clutter
held hostage by tire and curb
as if abandoned by the waters of earth

it shoulders its way through the gutters
in search of mother sea

this day begins golden and crisp
bird songs echo empty sunrise streets

me and the first edition
we sit by this morning window
with coffee and curiosity
quietly serenaded by the 5:00 AM news

I read
occasionally glimpse the screen
grow troubled by our human plight
amazed how we never learn
when the answers seem so obvious

in this moment
the tv drones
my frustration rises
my spirit slips
my mind drifts
lifting on the vapor ribbons
wafting from my steaming cup
until I stare distracted

the announcer’s mouth continues sculpting words
but I’ve fallen deep into my thoughts
imagining how different it would be
if I ruled this world

• • •

rob kistner © 2011

• linked at Magpie Tales

Why Raven?

 

Why Raven?

•

there stands a raven in the rain
liquid-black as molten coal
beside a woman
besot and broken
thoughts so black and molten
outstretched in her anguish
ravin’ in the rain

raven in the rain
why is it that you stand here
so very soaked and sullen
beside this woman so besot
so broken and bereft
heart so black and shattered
ravin’ in the rain

has her ravin’ called you forth
do you feel kinship in her blackness
does it bind you common thread
is there a faint scent of death
carried on her plaintive breath
she outcast and shunned
so like your thankless plight

picking ‘mongst the carnage
rooting in the road-kill
the writhing crawling carcass rot
left the spoiled — not the spoils
this is your lot is it not
to consume the left-for-dead
the world’s lost decay

raven in the rain
are you here to feast today

• • •

rob kistner © 2011

• linked at Magpie Tales

Slithered


The Snake Charmer, Henri Rousseau, 1907

 

Slithered

•

ever hissing ever hissing
the smooth slithered snake
stealthily winds its slender self
to slowly settle in the shadows

to set its searching sights
on its unsuspecting prey
an ever patient sentry
coiled to seize its precious prize

with surety of purpose
this silent sleek assassin
will strike swift and certain
never missing never missing

• • •

rob kistner © 2011

• linked at Magpie Tales

Images – a ten year vigil

…lest we ever forget

 

 

 

Images


•

images

unreal
unfathomable images

the graceful glide
engulfed by the spire
in a roar of golden orange

horribly beautiful

perversely mesmerizing

obscene
devastating images

torrents of humanity
raining down

desperation their only escape

masses of humanity
racing
to outrun the unbelievable

praying
to be delivered from the inconceivable

traumatic images

shrines of free commerce
consumed
by the unbearable weight
of their fragile significance
plummeting to earth
in a cloud of self-destruction

heartbreaking images

screaming
dazed
terrified souls
consumed
by the unbearable weight of the moment

staggering onward
to outdistance the surging roll
of all-engulfing
pulverized aftermath

courageous images

battered
determined
tireless heroes

those who were called
who served unselfishly

some
who gave the ultimate service

haunting images

color
gender
ethnicity
wiped away
from the ashen-grey faces
of the traumatized throngs

now just masks of calamity

all made equal
by horror and grief

one nation
under siege
inconsolable
with tragedy and sorrow
for all

unforgettable images
burned into our hearts

• • •

rob kistner © 9/11/09

 

Clown

 

Clown

•

I’m the sad little clown with the frowning face
the round red nose and the great big tear
this meek facade and silly sham
belie the horror that I engineer

life’s dealt me cold my hand is slack
not one queen no king nor ace
so violence now dwells in me
masked behind my woeful face

no one suspects the evil soul
that festers deep in this funny fool
they know not the monster here
my gentle sheen conceals the cruel

they don’t realize a broken heart
a ruined life makes one quite mad
they simply see the pitiful
the painted face that looks so sad

the shaggy coat the baggy pants
the red suspenders the big white glove
they do not know it hides the hand
that choked the life from the one they love

town after town state after state
bodies mount in the circus’ wake
in the dead of night at the dark of moon
in frenzied fever each life I take

each beautiful each innocent
each unaware that they would die
there will be more on the road ahead
one for every tear you made me cry

when the circus comes and the tents go up
the people cheer in each sleepy town
because the poor fools just don’t know
who’s really come is the killer clown

• • •

rob kistner © 2011

_____________________

for two more tales of murder written in dark rhyme click “more”

Bogged

 

Bogged

•

that’s the thing about ruts
the longer we remain bogged
the harder it is to escape

•

stopping is no option

to lose the way
is to keep going
keep moving forward

lest one be rutted in uncertainty
rigid with the rigor of fear
bogged down in despair
paralyzed

stalled in hopelessness
the giving in
the giving up

caught in anguish
the rot that sets
with the loss of wonder
when grip lets go of dreams

arthritic loss of faith
debilitates the soul

cripples the manifest light
that shines forth
at the leap into dark unknown
into the sacred mystery

frozen is the doubting man
withered in a worried cage
terrified of the wrong step
of the journey all in
of daring the way unmarked

thus
he bleeds out the color of life
to become cold and grey

a petrified husk
of brittle remorse

mired in regret
for never having shone so brightly
as to blind the eyes of death

stopping is no option

• • •

rob kistner © 2011

• linked at Magpie Tales

Safe Harbor

 

Safe Harbor

(scene from a mystery)

•

“What do you mean Eric,” Grace inquired, the strain obvious in her weary voice. “Who exactly is going to take on Sebastian … and why?”

Her voice trailed off to an exasperated whisper. The why was not so much a question, as it was confused frustration. She seemed to know the answer was much too complicated to address at this hour, and she was too spent, physically and emotionally, to want to hear it.

Grace turned away from Eric, head lowered. Her arms fell limp at her sides, fingers splayed. She was trying her best to process what Eric was saying, to understand him – to understand the recent events that had brought her to this place in time … to make sense of anything. Her head was spinning, and she could feel the fatigue deep in her bones.

She dropped back onto the sofa, half sitting, half lying down – an exhausted slouch. She felt paralyzed, thoughts racing through her mind – fragmented, disconnected thoughts.

She looked at her hands, palms down in her lap, her eyes glazing over. Her vision drifted to her wrists, her left wrist in particular — to her watch. Slowly it came into focus, and she realized she was staring at the broken crystal face of her Audemars Piguet Promesse.

Ever since Sebastian had given her this watch for their anniversary, her life had turned upside down – but it had also turned a corner. Fate had pushed her round that corner, and she would never turn back again. Her life as Mrs. Kensington was over.

She knew this, knew it as surely as she knew she missed her children. Something must be done to get them out of that house – his house. It could no longer be her home, but they would always be her children – and she feared for them. They had to be part of whatever direction fate was leading her.

It was fate that had broken the crystal – fate, and her quick reflexes, blocking Sebastian with her forearm as he lashed out at her in anger, following their anniversary dinner.

He had apologized, explaining it away as the result of stress. “It will never happen again,” he’d said in his most gentle and sincere voice – but she was far too familiar with this empty promise. This was not the first time, and the incidents of abuse were escalating.

She’d only come into his office that evening to thank him again for the gorgeous timepiece. She thought this was where he’d retired after leaving the dining table. But she could see, in the subdued light, that he was not there. The mahogany paneled room was empty.

She loved the aroma of his Classic Port pipe tobacco that permeated the walls. Her father had also smoked that blend in his Barling Meerschaum, and the heady fragrance was comforting to her – so she lingered. That’s when she noticed it, on the small file cabinet next to his desk, in the shadow of the light from the Tiffany lamp. It was her red leather handbag.

Wondering, she walked over and picked it up, only to realize it was not her bag. What she held was a red leather courier bag. Inside she noticed an odd looking carved box. Her curiosity got the better of her, so she lifted it out, that’s when Sebastian entered. “What the hell do you think you’re doing? Put that god damned box down,” he’d shouted — then flew into a rage.

Why had her discovery of the strangely etched box sent Sebastian over the edge? What were those letters that spilled out when she dropped the box upon being viciously slapped?

They’d looked terribly official, with their seals and embossing – and written in a language that she did not recognize. Sebastian certainly scrambled frantically to collect them from the antique Persian rug, and return them to the box. But she managed to conceal one, sliding it under her hips as she lay where she’d fallen after being struck.

Sebastian’s bizarre reaction to the correspondence scattered on the floor, and the foreign language they contained, had piqued Grace’s interest. Instinct drove her to hide the envelope until she was able to carefully fold and secret it into her pocket, as her husband hurried from the room, with the curious box in tow.

Grace felt it was important that she take this letter, so she spirited it out of the room, found her actual red leather shoulder bag, and buried the puzzling document deep inside for safekeeping. She’d planned to somehow learn more about its origin and content.

It was again fortune that lead her the next morning to the jewelers, seeking a new watch crystal. It was while standing at the counter, waiting to be served, that she’d spied Sebastian coming out of an alley across the street, scurrying through the rain. He carried a red umbrella and in his left hand, and in his right, there was the red courier bag again.

Her husband was quickly approaching a woman standing at the curb — a stranger to Grace. They’d exchanged a few words, and had climbed into a waiting limousine. Grace had broken from the counter in a hurry, and bolted through the door to get a better look.

Unfortunately, as she’d reached the sidewalk and acquired a reasonable view of the vehicle, it had sped away. She had noticed markings on the door, and a license plate, a type she had not immediately recognized – but she could read neither.

Providence had orchestrated this chance encounter, and unfolded this convoluted chain of events for her — but what was she to do. Where could she begin to unravel this mystery? All this was flooding through her mind when she was startled back to the present by Eric, returning to the room with pillows and a blanket.

“I will take the sofa tonight,” he said, “You’re completely burned out. I’m putting you in my room,” he continued in a kind and caring tone. “My bed is amazingly comfortable, and you need sleep – lots of good, deep sleep.”

He reached down and took Grace’s hand, helping her to her feet. Gently wrapping his arm around her waist, he escorted her down the hall and into his room. Stopping just inside the door, he said, “You will be safe in here. We’ll talk about everything in the morning,” and he gave her a warm hug, stepped back into the hall, and closed the door.

Grace realized there were too many questions to answer, too many unknowns — just too damned much to even think about right now.

“Yes, in the morning,” she mumbled to the door. Then, hugging her red shoulder bag with the mysterious envelope tucked securely inside, Grace shuffled across the room and collapsed onto the bed.

• • •

rob kistner © 2011

_________________________

THREE POEMS FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION:


“Golden”


“Spared”


“Vanished”

Golden

 

Golden

•

there is a quiet golden
in this evening as it settles
unequaled in its beauty
by even that of precious metals

it embraces vesper’s hour
with a subtle gentle heat
lays down upon the land
like the roll of amber wheat

it dances in the air
strokes your hair aglow in smolders
folds its warmth upon your face
fondles fiery ’round your shoulders

it ignites a special magic
as though dreams are coming true
paints the world in a splendor
almost beautiful as you

a goddess of the sun
in this moment you catch fire
my heart a helpless tinder
now sparked by love’s desire

caught by beauty’s flame
I’m filled with passion’s yearning
my soul is set ablaze
please don’t leave me burning

before I am consumed
quench me with your precious kiss
for if I am to be consumed
I pray it be in bliss

• • •

rob kistner © 2011

_________________________

TWO ADDITIONAL POEMS:


“Spared”


“Vanished”

Spared


 
Spared

~

how I do desire
the damp dreary days
of february

when my forlorned
fallen face
is commonplace

when no one intrudes
to question
what’s the matter

because all around
are caught up in the blues

oh if only
you could find it
in your heart

to forgive
this sadly lost
and broken man

who much too late
understands
he was a fool

and in his sorrow
understands
why you refuse

but how I wish
ill-tempered weather
would ensue

to drive the joyful
all around me
to indoor spaces

so I’d be spared
the pain
of smiling faces

and the bitter
bitter memory
of losing you

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2011

  • Image above entitled “Red Umbrella” by: Christopher Shay
  • This was originally linked to Tess Kincaid’s “Magpie Tales”

    ______________________

    How Poetry Comes to Me

    by: Gary Snyder

    It comes blundering over the
    Boulders at night, it stays
    Frightened outside the
    Range of my campfire
    I go to meet it at the
    Edge of the light

  • Already Vanished

     

    Vanished

    •

    and he saw them leaving
    and he opened his mouth in farewell
    but only dust escaped

    and broken dreams

    and a spoiled promise
    from long ago
    left too long on the shelf

    so he raised his hand
    to gesture a wave
    but he was rigid
    and could not

    and they did not hear him
    and they did not see him

    for he had already vanished

    • • •

    rob kistner © 2011

    • linked at Magpie Tales

    By These

     

    By These

    •

    melancholy’s grey
    the black of loss
    fear’s dark ebony
    the violet of regret
    the purples of pain and anger
    sorrowful blues
    peaceful greens
    golden joy
    laughter’s bright amber
    love’s ruby red
    the scarlet of passion
    the white of knowledge

    painted by the brush of time
    these are the colors
    of my life
    blended in the palette
    that defines my essence

    by these
    you know me

    • • •

    rob kistner © 2011

    • linked at Magpie Tales

    Junebug

     

    Junebug

    •

    how impertinent
    moth and junebug

    what’s with all this buzzing chatter
    you’re bump and thump and all a’clatter
    worrying with the frontporch light
    steaming on this august night
    such racket over a minor matter

    while here below you
    my heart breaks in silence

    • • •

    rob kistner © 2011

    • linked at Magpie Tales and OSI