Author: Rob Kistner

into a grey tangle
of thoughts
memories

of answers
explanations
recognitions

damp
with vague familiarity

I reach
but do not retrieve

they slip my grasp
in cruel torment
and tumble away

opaque
unconnected

ever accelerating
in spiral linearity

time

escaping into the future
tethered to the past
ever captive in the now

you do not see me

no shadow cast
that you perceive

no movement
to catch your eye

no color
no shape
no texture

to you
I am
invisible

there is always music

in the light
in the dark

in the heat
in the cold

in the calm
in the chaos

in the coming
in the leaving

in the joy
in the sadness

from the birds
for the birds

there is always music

what have I to say
that has not been said
so many times before
in so many ways unique

so here will be said
what has not been heard

resonant

in silence

it is forth from this fog
begins my journey

midst snares of habit
and chaos of distraction

provocative intrusions of impulse
their steely grip resolute
tug t’ward frenzy’s edge

yet clarity struggles
to find foothold

a tentative purchase
from whence a life
is launched and guided

confusion an insistent helmsman
steering a frantic manic course
and I a captive captain

blessed and cursed

set upon a wondrous quest
of worried fascination

ever charting port to port
troubled sea to troubled sea
on fragile footing

steadfast to overcome
to overcome
to always overcome

keys
especially car keys
reside in an alternate universe

not everyone is aware of this
but it is true

keys can crossover into our realm
and will
reluctantly
but this requires of us
a rather detailed ritual
involving cursing
combined with scowling
and at times shouting
the gritting of teeth
some degree of fist clenching
frantic lumbering from room to room
perhaps adding arm flailing
the turning of circles
and rigid glances to the heavens
to demonstrate earnestness

this generally is not sufficient
to recall the keys immediately
so
genuflecting becomes a major component
followed by deep bowing
to gaze suppliantly
under chairs
sofas
beds
desks
and dressers
large appliances
small might also be considered

be aware
it is not wasted endeavor to peer into the fridge
as it has been known to elicit positive results
though not often

keys still a no-show

then lifting of seat cushions is recommended
it appears to increase the power
of this prayer of reunion
tossing can be included for drama
some keys are drawn to drama

if still no sign of keys

then transition to the opening
and slamming
of multiple drawers
large and small
deep and shallow
wooden
metal
and synthetic

don’t forget to include the bathroom
as keys sometimes choose to reappear
in most unusual and exotic places

still no keys

then move to the pocket searching phase
jackets
shirts
trousers
walking shorts
it seems the more clothing types one addresses
during this portion of the ceremony
the more effective it is in summoning the keys

the rite may also need to include
the repetition of a number of ceremonial elements
already completed

it is not clear precisely how many must be repeated
so
this particular part of the ritual
is a bit of trial and error
very frustrating
but sometimes essential in conjuring keys

occasionally so is retracing
portions of this journey of petition
the exact requirements
for satisfying this backtracking
is also ambiguous
so
use your best judgment

in fact
one must remain aware
this is not an exact rite of entreaty
so
perseverance is highly recommended

if the keys are distracted
or otherwise engaged in their alter-realm doings
it may be necessary
to include a pilgrimage to the garage
to perform an in depth laying on of hands
in scouring the car

often this will stir the key’s attention
and bid them come
for they spend quite a bit of time
when in our realm
in close relationship with the car

if all else has failed to beckon forth the keys
it may be necessary to solicit the cooperation
and participation of a loved one
to then repeat the entire ceremony

if one resorts to this partnering
as a part of the search and retrieval ritual
it is important to honor the chosen loved one
with praise and gratitude
and certainly gifts are not out of place

please know
at times it is necessary to make such offerings
prior to securing cooperation of a loved one
especially if one did a poor job
bestowing ones thanks and admiration
following a previous such ceremony of discovery
in which the said loved one jointly participated

this is not sacrilege
and occasionally will bring about early success
in calling forth the keys

once the keys make their appearance
it is tradition to exaggerate ones relief and joy
extolling the virtues of the keys
careful never to scold
exclaiming their importance
and to boast promises
proclaiming how you will stay closer
and better in touch with the precious keys
understanding
that this pledge of fidelity and improvement
is completely ceremonial
and will have no real impact on the future

my keys

my car keys

where the hell are my car keys
I’ve looked everywhere

well
obviously not everywhere

I can’t keep track of things
better find Kathy

thank heavens for the gift of voice
makes her more difficult to lose

unless we’re in Costco

woman enjoy a special gift
the gift of invisibility
my keys share that gift

if it’s not the keys it’s my wallet
if not my wallet — my notes
a pen
my watch
that phone number

a book
the tickets
my eye-glasses
those personal receipts

some damned thing is always lost
my life is search and rescue

drives me up the wall
and everyone around me — crazy

except Kathy
patience personified

what would I do without my wife
wouldn’t be only my things that were lost

outside my window
midday celebrates
alive with September sun
and the scurry of creatures
warmed by late summer

nature
in splendid voice

the chuff of tree’d red squirrel
blend with the song
chirp
and trill of birds

chickadee
goldfinch
western bluebird
and others

fly
flutter
and flit

cracking the black-oil sunflower seeds
that spill from their feeders
under the patient eye of a red-tailed hawk
casually calling
from the top of a Sitka spruce
swaying in the crisp blue sky

woven into this sonic tapestry
the muffled belling of a deer
wandering in the safety of the old-growth
whispering in these foothills

the quiet bark of a neighbor’s dog
echoes through the basin
up along the stream
signaling its curiosity
reminding me we have friends nearby

the soothing rustle of leaves
large and small
stirred by the breezes
waft through this valley
smartly punctuated
by the staccato of conifer cones
that fall from time to time
wrested free by chickaree
and chipmunk
chattering high in the Douglas fir
busy with their forage

wap wap wap

they strike the ground
and bounce off our roof

closely followed
by the scamper of their liberators
crunching their way
to the heart-meat of the cone

the delicacy
that elicits this furious industry

I sit by the open window
with tea
and fascination
mesmerized by all I behold

intoxicated
by the heady fragrance
drifting in

cedar
pine
fir

lily
rose
morning glory

grasses
loam
and more

a rich earthy bouquet

I breathe deep
exhale
free a smile

and marvel

whomp whomp whomp

a mystery
voiced in the thump of blades
pounding urgently overhead
stirs my imagination

perhaps a screech of tires
a metallic crush
the scattered crackle
of fractured shards
were the precursors
of this percussive intrusion

suddened upon me

maybe a violent soul
forced an aberrant will
upon innocent unsuspecting
to be foiled by fate
or foolhardy valor
and now flees on foot

pursued overland

approaching
even as I wonder

or lurching blooms of rolling fire
leap from fir to fir
rushing wind-driven

hotly tracked
by the dousing smother
of this mechanized savior
thundering on high
intent to squelch the roaring destruction
feverishly consuming
the tindered old-growth
that surrounds this place
in which I dwell

whomp whomp whomp

the churning growl
and relentless roar
circling, circling, circling
in dopplered pulse
worrying aloft

drawing me upward
in fascinated speculation
anxious conjecture

until it slowly fades
trailing off into the afternoon
my curiosity in tow

leaving me
once again alone
in daydreams