Flabby Days
proving clean life vexes only short time
while flabby days burst plump students
Hi! I’m Edgrrr, rob’s shih tzu.
proving clean life vexes only short time
while flabby days burst plump students
callused digits
yellowed by habit
depress taut strands
no longer catgut
blood and bone
grip
connect
sculpting emotions
true life
cries from pearled rosewood
ride’n spiraled steel
playin’ the blues
rob kistner © 2019
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HzTlB-TjAzM
what’s with all this buzzin’ chatter
you’re bumpin’ and thumpin’ and all a’clatter
frettin’ with the frontporch light
steamin’ on this humid June night
such racket over a minor matter
while here below you
my heart breaks in silence
rob kistner © 2019
”A sad contemplation of the current undermining of basic human rights and human decency, as well as the blatant distortion of truth and the outright contempt for the rule of law. This seriously jeopardizes the hard-won freedoms for which many have struggled, even died, and which most in this country have long embraced.”
that spins in the spaces
of destiny’s light and dark
days of falter and fear
in this great void approaching
that moves
unsteady in orbit
of unquenchable doubt
what your mind must conceal
from the spirit
of joy and forgiveness
that which is pure
tested by time
and the wanting hands
of the waiting
who cower
yet smile
singing truth
through the hail and barrage
‘cross the bow mast
of freedom
seeking broad measure and berth
as all that you seem to desire
slips slowly away
like rain down a spout
and nightmares plumb deep
the sphere of black dreams
such is the slag-shattered
glass orb of the future
that moves slowly
through the arc of the ages
who’ve waited and watched
‘neath the promised moon
of deliberate ancients
that revolves
in the void of the others
that seek what we know
to be ever
the voice of the lost
in the light of the dark dawning
that heralds the word
of this time that’s upon us
that holds us fast
in the fear of bleak visions
and of longing
for all that we desire to be
here in our heart
so elusive
in this moment
that slips
like a squandered teardrop
forever away from
our loosening grasp
yet the eyes are so familiar
the nose
the mouth
the chin
staring back
the one I think I am
want to be
but a longer look
deeper into the eyes
beneath the transparent surface
reflected subtle in the silver
there is another
one only I recognize
there
caught in the looking glass
revealed
is my other self
inner self
the one I truly am
the weak flawed one
frightened and unsure
the pretender
hoping that my guise holds fast
that I’m not found out
exposed in my glaring imperfection
a shudder breaks the stare
I blink
and check my teeth
my hair
tug straight my collar
making sure the mask is tight
best face forward
always
a final glance
I smile away the doubt
I lust not for kingly right
nor scepter gold to rule a realm
I seek to fill my barren soul
across the bridge of dreams
worldly wealth I do not need
nor power over minions
enlightenment is all I seek
across the bridge of dreams
rob kistner © 2019
Calypso Hearts
all the while
were they singing
moving rhythmically
thinking about the freedom of morning
thinking
“daylight come and me wan’ go home”
and me wondering here
here in my favorite market
midst the wonderful aromas
surrounded by this bounty
shoppers scurrying about
me with my small shopping cart
black wooden cane
dangling from the handle
eyeing three semi-ripe ones
is that how these got here
a little green
like my wife Kathy favors
so home they will go
then up onto the “nanner-hanger”
above the counter
in the kitchen
and she will eat one
maybe just a half
the other half on cereal
maybe saved until later
and one while gardening
for that 3 o’clock lull
wonder if those calypso-hearted souls
dealt with a 3:00 AM lull
wonder if they had the luxury of time
while loading that boat
to even consider a lull
wonder if they are
anymore
those calypso-hearted
sun-stained souls
but once they were
who toted those banana bunches
“lift six foot, seven foot, eight foot bunch”
and they sang
“day, me say day, me say day, me say day-ay-ay-o”
and they worked
“stack banana ’til de mornin’ come”
when they longed to go home
yes
they lived
and they loved
and they’re gone
so I thank them
I remeber them
and their calypso hearts
now I just wanna remember
to get what’s on the list
list says get bananas
I get bananas
then me just wan’go home
rob kistner © 2019
*Got a wonderful surprise text this weekend from a bandmate of mine from 1965. He’s coming to visit! Brought a flood of memories, condensed here to 144 words, from my crazy years in the 1960’s, when my blue-eyed soul band played the all-night R&B clubs in Newport Ky — the ‘wild’, anything-goes world, just across the Ohio River from conservative, hypocritical Cincinnati. His text sparked this piece, which is also inspired by an old poem of mine. Fluffed flashback, not fiction.
Our gig ended at 3:00 AM. Now here we sit with smuggled single malt, and the crusty sunrise special. Me and my band of doo wop warriors are bliss’d out from giggin’, mixin’ ‘mong willing groupies, loud hanger-on’s, and other players — when far away an interrupted cry distracts me. My friend Joey, back from ‘Nam.
I wave him over. We’re sittin’ with steel-heart working girls, soul-bruised painted strippers, burnt drink slingers, tired cocktail mules, hustlers, grifters, gamblers, pimps, pushers — and cops. A strange, wonderful family of the night, hidin’ from those cruel first rays, ready to scurry to dark, well-curtained rooms.
Joey’s diggin’ it, but time to make that final score, to get us through ‘till sundown strikes up the band again. It’s cirque du morning madness, all sneakin’ up on breakfast.
rob kistner © 2019
clatter in the potting shed
soon will come new growth
wonderful new possibilities were foreseen
life would be more convenient with plastic
heavy packaging and storage containers
made lighter to handle with plastic
food medical clothing and more industries
would all benefit from this plastic
in the enthusiam over this amazing material
chasing miracles we imagined from plastic
no one bothered ask how we would dispose
of the many things we’d make from plastic
dismayed we’re thinking it’s not so fantastic
that our world’s becoming buried in plastic
rob kistner © 2019
*Famous quote in 1967’s “The Graduate”. Mr. Robinson speaking to graduate Ben Braddock, “One word, plastic! There is a great future in plastic.” …Perhaps then, but now the future is buried in plastic!
dwelling in their shrines of excess
lairs of self-indulgence
altars to waste
their temples of foolish disregard
for our precious planet
observe them hoist themselves
to command positions
in gluttonous drive-time dinosaurs
dreaded treaded behemoths
that bully across the face
of our strained and crippled planet
devouring resources
like a herd
of metallic mastodons
a relentless forage
of fragile fossil fuel
to suck dry
the paleozoic nectar
300 million years
in the making
a fraction of that
to plunder and deplete
with frivolous toys
of self-extinction
that spew forth
poisonous discharge
fouling the choking atmosphere
watch them
see them
there they are
they worship convenience
they shun the conscientious
they create their chemical concoctions
they create their plastics
their plastic bags
their plastic bottles
their plastic packages
their plastic values
disposable and deadly
that offer only moments of convenience
but decades upon decades of destruction
killing the beautiful
the birds, beasts, and fishes
that roam free this planet
struggling to live in balance
with arrogant careless humans
who clog, poison, and pummel
the frail ecosystem
meant for all living things
shoving earth closer
ever closer
to the brink of no return
to satisfy a toxic desire
for bigger, faster, easier
the ever more lazy
hungry to feed a caustic ego
to assert perceived dominion
the special
the spoiled
the outrageously dangerous
watch them
see them there
they are —
you and I
rob kistner © 2019
This song by Sarah McLachlan, “In The Arms Of An Angel” always makes me break down. She was my son, Aaron Robert Kistner’s favorite vocalist. He listened to her “Fumbling Towards Ecstasy” album all the time. He said she had the most beautiful voice on earth. Hearing this song takes me deep into memories of my sweet angel. My son Aaron died in his 18th year, just prior to entering college to study music. He was a very handsome, kind, and gentle young man – and a fabulous singer. I miss him so, everyday. My arms ache to hold him close just once more. Here is a poem I condensed today, from a much longer version I wrote immediately following his tragic death in a horrible auto accident.
A simple snapshot,
taken at the airport,
upon your return
from having run the New York City Marathon.
A gentle, triumphant smile,
eyes beaming behind those “way cool” shades,
jacket sleeves rolled in casual hip-ness,
bag thrown so carefree over your shoulder,
medal dangling proudly from your strong neck.
The victor: gentle, cool, hip, carefree, proud, and strong,
— fiercely handsome!
How profound this captured moment proved to be.
Taken just before the finish line of your 18 years,
it said it all.
Your race is run,
your bag is packed,
your reward’s in hand.
Fly my sweet angel – fly!
rob kistner © 2019
For more tears at dVerse:
when facts annoy
and fiction comforts
when we’re copulating
with false gods
of greed and power
on forsaken altars
of fear and prejudice
then the hour of the dragon
is at hand
rob kistner © 2019
Hi! I’m Edgrrr, rob’s shih tzu.
Yo, humans, can we talk? You know, you guys used to be pretty cool. You were on a roll there for a while. But lately, I have watched your recent generations going backwards in some unfortunate ways. Some of your powerful nations seem to be coming apart at the seams. It’s as though your wisdom is evaporating. You are tending toward stupidity, not getting smarter. I’ve seen you make mistakes over the centuries, but really! You used to find a way to work it out, to be more tolerant.
What I have been observing in recent times, is you moving to a cold, isolated existence, disconnected from each other. Hell, you are disconnecting from everything! In this fascination you have with technology, you have begun serving the machine. You are so enamored with the virtual world, you have lost sight of the natural world. All your video games, and really violent video game. It is as though you are fascinated with perfecting violence, like you are in some bizarre race to ruination?
You are becoming aliens in this amazing eden, that so many have been helping create for you all, for many millenniums now. My fellow trees and I have invested our existence in providing oxygen for you, and cleaning toxins from your air. But I see you crippling the natural world, misshaping it, scarring it – you are killing it, and each other. Come on you guys, all my rooted friends, big and small, and all our animal buddies – we care about you! Give us a break! Pull your heads out of your collective butts!
Look, speaking for us trees, if you humans wipe yourself out, most of us will likely still be standing here, thrusting skyward, reaching closer to heaven than any living things. We have been, and chances are, will remain perpetual survivors. We are historically rooted in perpetuity. We are the constant sentinels, the witnesses to your existence on planet earth. But we don’t want to be witness to your tragedy – we like you guys, in general.
Listen, since I must stand here, watching you for generation after generation, what do say, you let me watch you move forward. Take that cleverness, and your technologies, and clean this mess up. Even if it takes your civilization painstaking progress to turn it around – start. Who cares if the reversal of of your fortunes unfolds slowly – just do it!
I would love to observe millenniums of human endeavor awaken
to real self-awareness of your responsibilty as one of the key stewards of this planet. Become less dependent on blind conformity, on a hive mentality of conflict. Become true masters of your machines. Look up into each others eyes. Stop stumbling around, staring down into your gadgets, like automaton zombies. Use your technologies to genuinely improve your lives. Use it to end hunger, end strife, strive for the light. Evolve as wise beings.
Let me see the natural world reshaped positively by you, tempered with strength, made more productive and resilient – more beautiful. Let me see you find your balance with each other, with all the rest of us. I will stand here, reaching skyward, as long as you don’t screw it up for all of us. Please let me stand here proud, a witness to your eventual glorious triumph!
rob kistner © 2019
I hid in the anguish
of the loveless who cowered
in the dark serpent’s shadow
lost in the perverse nightmare
I fed on the grief
of the forgotten who wailed
for their horrific loss
in the ruins of despair
this was my heartscape
black as mid-winter night
a lightless horizon
no glimmer of hope
trusting was toxic
no foothold for love
relations were carnage
scattered lifeless and cold
’til you, beautiful being
eyes brilliant and true
approached from afar
bearing tinder of love
the graceful arrangement
was deftly ignited
and patiently tended
the fire gently stoked
afraid to come forward
I held outside the glow
but your kindness drew me
we stood by love’s blaze
with passion it roared
its light pierced my blackness
its heat warmed my soul
my ice heart was thawed
with you in my life
I am darkness removed
soaring and weightless
radiant and rising
vital and caring
my spirit’s renewed
illuminated wholly
by a new dawn of dreams
rob kistner © 2019