Hope

  • For society to have a real chance we need quality education!

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    Last Hope

    ~

    I lift myself quietly
    very quietly
    from beneath the sheets
    soiled with neglect
    soaked with my nightmares

    I am again awake
    from another dark night
    that began with fear
    fear I might not survive
    and ends in sorrow
    realizing I did

    I rise
    make my way carefully
    past the shallow-breathed crumple
    that lay milky-eyed
    in a heap on the floor
    un-moving
    save a twitch of the head

    a head which now harbors demons
    where nocturnal angels of sweet release
    had lain down lush upon it
    in fevered embrace
    lustfully conjured
    by last night’s spoon and lance
    still skewered silver in the soured vein

    this wreckage is my mother

    I stop but for a glance
    verifying life
    then move on head down
    angle to the bathroom
    to the scum-brown bowl
    to wash my face
    lit sallow by the yellowed bulb
    that hangs bare and lonely

    strange eyes
    hold me in the mirror
    broken as my heart

    eyes of knowing
    eyes of sadness

    grief courses through me
    weighing upon my being
    burning into my heart

    I want to cry out
    but there is no one here to hear me
    no hero that can help me

    driven by instinct to survive
    by urgency to flee
    I shudder away the paralyzing despair

    in this dank food-less morning
    in this ruined single room
    in this coat-less chill of predawn
    I gather up my books
    step lightly through the door
    down the damaged stairs
    into the hostile streets
    heavy with this childhood of strangled dreams

    I duck and dodge
    in and out of shadows
    praying to once again avoid the evil
    that lurks and slinks
    among the garbage and graffiti
    of these crumbled bricken’d canyons

    that rolls slow and lethal
    gripping cold blue steel
    in predatory drive-by

    evil
    seductive as a smile
    deadly as a snake

    evil
    which if diligence should fail
    I fear will consume my soul

    deliberately I continue
    until at last I find my way
    to the building
    to the classroom
    to my teacher
    to my desk

    to the only hope
    to which I dare cling

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2011
    (revision © 2019)

    ___________________________

    Click to learn more about toad’s social awareness

  • Steel Tear

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    Steel Tear

    ~

    the dream broke
    like a prodigal sun
    on a startled winter evening
    causing him to squint
    blinking away happiness
    like sand in the eyes of love

    you were there
    the disapproving guest
    at the final edit party

    you took his cues
    took his keys
    took his shoes
    took his leave

    you took him for a fool

    it wasn’t you didn’t want him
    you said
    you simply saw yourself
    in a different movie
    with a different ending

    no broken hearts
    at least
    not yours

    and the stranded man
    in the leather chair
    had my face

    had no expectations
    made no demands
    held you responsible
    for nothing

    and you left the table
    cashed in your winnings
    climbed the winding stairs
    silk purse in hand
    his heart in your pocket
    to place it at midnight
    on your balcony sill
    to watch it wither in the moonlight

    he had no need for it
    nor most certainly
    did you

    and the night lark sang
    and a silver tear
    fell hard as steel
    from his crystal’d cheek
    which you collected in a sterling box
    and tossed into the sea

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2011
    (revision © 2018)

    Daredevil’s Dread

     

    Daredevil’s Dread

    ~

    to be shot from a cannon
    into the cool night air
    is really no big deal

    to face a barrage
    of flying knives
    isn’t really that unreal

    to leap through the fire
    of a flaming hoop
    the warmth is kind’a nice

    jumping giant chasms
    on two-wheeled fury
    sure – let’s do it twice

    to be blown up
    in a speeding car
    sort’a turns me on

    falling 20-story
    from a skyscraper
    I’m up over and gone

    riding upside down
    on an airplane wing
    it’s the only way to fly

    the high trapeze
    without a net
    I wouldn’t bat an eye

    buried alive
    in a padlocked tomb
    count 10 and I’ll cheat death

    chained in steel
    tossed in the sea
    no need to hold my breath



    the sphere of fear
    the dome of doom
    the bungee-cord freefall

    to walk blazing coals
    swallow deadly swords
    no sweat — I’ve done them all

    almost nothing scares
    this bold daredevil
    I am very proud to say

    save the single thing
    of which I’m terrified

    to give my heart away



    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2010
    (revised © 2018)

    ____________________________________

  • top 2 photos: Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus
  • bottom photo: source unknown
  • Hedone’s Daughter

  • WARNING! For adult readers only!
  •  

    loves-serenade

     

    Hedone’s Daughter

    ~

    radiant vision silken skinned
    translucent alabaster blaze
    torrid as a teen’s temptation
    leaned low
    here before me
    yearning

    straplened ankles fragile turned
    stiletto’d rise
    on carpet soft
    emblazened vixen
    forward bent
    availed so boldly
    flush with craving

    graceful face
    brazen aglow
    comely raised and tilted back
    my fingers tangled in your hair
    lifting firm
    yet luscious slow

    swept away in lustful swoon
    forearms rest on velvet sheets
    eyes aflame in sapphire need
    blatant in your fetched seduction

    Hedone’s daughter lush with Spring
    smouldering
    in golden light
    that folds upon you soft as satin
    ‘cross nape of neck
    arched silk desire

    down glistening back
    that tempting tapers
    to the tender
    warm and sultry
    wonderland for fingertips
    to touch
    and tease
    and tantalize

    to explore
    your quivering body
    soul-addictive
    luscious
    grand
    divinely-pleasing sculpted vessel
    brought forth by Aphrodite’s hand

    virgin fruit swells full and ripe
    flesh silhouette to hypnotize
    enticing in the candle’s flicker
    fondled by my hungry eyes

    they stroke and tweak
    the blossomed berries
    that burst
    engorged with passion’s heat

    that taunt my tongue to twirl ’round
    my teeth to nip in playful tug
    draw to my lips
    now lewdly moist
    to take
    and taste in eager suckle

    willful hands
    of pleasured probing
    wrap slender waist
    then slowly slide
    ‘cross pleading hips
    of sensuous rise
    to fall into erotic folds
    molded from the charms of Venus

    ’round dual swells of burning myth
    that writhe
    atop two lathen’d stems
    long and lithe
    as liquid love
    turned by pleasure’s gloried angels
    tempered in a sacred fire

    stretched taut
    raised high on tips of toes
    proud
    defined
    and goddess buff

    enough to make one
    want to stuff
    to thrust and thrust
    in randy lust
    ’til passion’s seed
    has turned to dust

    and wanton
    carnal
    flames
    are snuffed

    spring’s sweet madness
    full rebuffed

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2010
    (revision © 2018)

    _____________________

  • candle photo entitled “Lovers” by: Bolshevixen
  • photographer of couple embracing unknown
  • Click to read more dVerse poems of desire

  • Bohemian Tie-Dye

    This poem was inspired by a suggestion from Andy Sewina, aka SweetTalking Guy. This is a very brief flash fiction written in three American Sentences, a poetic form conceived by Allen Ginsberg.


     
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    Bohemian Tie-Dye

    ~

    jack and Neal on the road
    were rape’n their angst
    in carnal combustion

    allen was howl’n
    pal’n with corso
    but still white-hot for peter

    hunter was fearful
    loathing it all
    as bohemia went tie-dye

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2009

    Touch of Love

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    Touch of Love

    ~

    a quarter century ago
    in the shadow of the tall ships
    nestled inter-coastal
    on the outer banks of Beaufort
    our passion burst to flame

    we bound that flashpoint moment
    in a promise of forever
    and a band of abalone
    I found there in that sunset
    on the Carolina sands

    as ever-precious
    as the diamond ring
    that now encircles in its stead
    that pearled bit of shell
    immortalized our pledge

    even to this day
    it rests next to your heart
    where it falls true and warm
    on links of purest gold
    my constant touch of love

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2011



    Click below to read more poetry at dVerse:

    Open Link Night #233

    That Hollywood Sparkle

     

    That Hollywood Sparkle

    ~

    it’s not so much we resent the hungry
    no more than do we despise the poor
    rather we avoid and dismiss them
    with the dull cough of apathy
    we find them disturbing and dangerous
    they disquiet our comfort
    they disrupt our summer stroll downtown

    we do not flow with the milk of kindness
    our part is more the dark brandy of denial
    afterall what is it we can really do
    we do however praise our stars
    for their sensitivity toward the downtrodden
    it makes the less fortunate more glamorous
    and we like the hollywood sparkle it imparts to tragedy

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 6/26/18

    Sanctuary


    “Under Windsor Bridge” by Adolphe Valette, 1912

     

    Sanctuary

    ~

    dead calm envelops me

    moist morning fog
    adrift on the water
    wraps ’round me
    like a cool blanket

    it muffles the sounds
    of daybreak’s industry

    alone with my thoughts
    in peaceful privacy
    safe anonymity

    the regrets of last night
    dim and fade

    this brief sanctuary
    a soothing balm
    so welcome
    at the start of this heavy day

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2012

    No Respite

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    No Respite

    ~

    relentless din of crawling prowling night
    pours steaming through my window
    midnight intrudes damp and searing
    insistent

    scalded air too hot and thick to breathe
    a heat to suffocate
    blades beat and drone overhead
    promising relief
    in vain

    sweltered darkness lays heavy upon me
    unbearable

    I toss in labored half-sleep
    gasping for cool relief
    restless

    I inhale deep to fill my lungs
    seeking satisfying breath
    only to bake them in cruel heat
    no relief

    salted droplets trace my spine
    baste my neck
    pool in the hollow of my fevered chest
    bloom and seep
    from beneath the smother
    of matted soak atop my head
    to weep their way ‘cross smoldering brow
    into my eyes
    and sting

    in this nocturnal furnace
    night clings and stifles
    even dreams are scorched
    simmering in August

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2012

    Cloistered

  • This piece deals with the strange duality we all carry with us through life, the unique contradiction between the person we think we are, and the ‘many’ other persons others perceive us to be from their experience of us, as filtered through their differing individual perceptions. Fair or not, convenient or not, we are ‘judged’. Our lives are impacted to one degree or another, every day by how we measure up to each of these interpretations of the “I” we are thought to be. This includes the “I” we perceive ourselves to be. Which one is real, is valid, or is any one of them truly definitive? The phrase “I am” presents a fascinating philosophical quandary.


    image by René Magritte

     

    Cloistered

    ~

    when another
    tells you of yourself
    you’re shown the dance they see
    your outward choreography

    but you hear not of the music
    that rings true in your mind
    that leads and drives the steps
    to this inward dance they’re blind

    you are shown the reflection
    not the light that shines inside
    that illuminates your soul
    to guide your steps and stride

    are we the I that we know
    the self that we so treasure
    or are we in fact the other
    the one the others measure

    for if the valid I
    be the one that is most known
    then we are in fact that I
    the one to ourselves not shown

    for surely when compared
    the majority story shared
    is of the outward other
    the one seen by another

    and so we live our life
    cloistered in this other
    and live this life alone
    even when by many known
    for the I that’s outward shown
    is the I that’s not our own

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2012

  • Morphling


    image by Francesca Woodman

     

    Morphling

    ~

    I will not be confined
    always in motion
    eternal ebb and flow
    perpetual like the seas

    my spirit an eternal liquid
    in everlasting flux
    expands unrestrained
    seeking freedom

    I will not be defined
    my nature is fluid
    my essence is turbulent
    deep but ever changing

    my heart in constant surge
    challenges boundary
    seeking balance that is mine
    to change at will

    reach not for me
    I will not be held
    do not name me
    I will not be yours

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2012

    Solitaire


    “A Dinner Table at Night” — by: John Singer Sargent

     

    Solitaire

    ~

    immersed in pleasured chatter
    bursts of heightened laughter

    in the ringing clank of crystal
    of silver on fine china

    crisp bustle of starched service
    lush rustle of satin’d lace

    aglow in silken’d candlelight
    caressed by gentle strains

    wafts of sweet Bordeaux
    heady fragrance of cut orchids

    midst soft din and dance of mirth
    I gaze upon your empty face
    and see there in your hollow eyes
    our game is solitaire

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2012

    Perception’s Window


    artwork by Jack Vettriano

     

    Perception’s Window

    ~

    we are infinite beings
    awaking slowly
    from some infinite place

    our coming to be
    unknown to us as any mystery
    our essence an enigma

    learned in stories
    in waiting relationships
    gradually we open to our identity

    awareness dawns
    like the rising of a newborn sun
    breaking on our window of perception

    we feel its warmth
    and flow effortlessly into timelessness
    as though immortal

    we see not over the horizon
    for we see no horizon
    but limitless eternity

    we comprehend no end
    immersed only in the now
    given of our origin

    it is therein exists the miracle of life
    we are infinite beings in this moment
    dreaming to sustain the moment

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2012

    The Startled Man

     

    The Startled Man

    ~

    this “she” was birthed
    in his fractured dreams
    helpless as a forest fawn
    frail as a snowflake
    falling on a May predawn

    a captive
    to his fearful heart
    caught in his twisted fantasy
    conjured by his crippled soul
    his power is his fallacy

    he needs her weak
    for at his core
    he’s filled with sour doubt
    knows his time of tyranny
    is quickly running out

    threatened
    he seeks to dominate
    silences her rising voice
    to keep her mute and under thumb
    tries to deny her right of choice

    with strengthened will
    she finds her voice
    speaks direct to what she sees
    startled by her forthright way
    he wants her back upon her knees

    once a hollow woman-husk
    with sorrow dark as growing dusk
    whose spirit withered
    in the dimming light
    as nightmares swelled
    night after night
    whose tears once seared the barren land

    now rebukes
    his fisted hand
    and walks away
    from the startled man

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2012

    Yet

  • inspired by the first day I met my wife in 1987…

     

    Yet

    ~

    had she not appeared in that clearing
    so lost

    had she not crossed my threshold
    on that september day

    had not her voice
    drifted like silk on a summer breeze
    to wrap sheer and sweet
    around my heart

    had not I been drawn
    like a bloom to the morning sun

    had not I been captivated
    as a hummingbird
    by a drop of nectar
    crystal on a velvet petal

    had not my love come down
    soft as a rolling mountain meadow

    had not this dream been born

    had not my life begun again

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2012