Tag: humor

So Many Gifts

NaPoMo poem #29

This is the twenty ninth and the penultimate of the poems I will write this April, in honor of National Poetry Month, as proclaimed by the Academy of American Poets.

This poem is a tongue-in-cheek, but well intentioned look at life’s many gifts, inspired by prompt #29 at read write poem.

• NOTE: these poems will all essentially be early drafts, so edits may occur after their initial posting.

 

So Many Gifts

•

we were granted
many gifts
when we arrived
here in this life

perhaps the most precious
is the gift of family

to endure
the gift of family
and any other calamity
we were bestowed
the gift of courage
the gift of patience
is a part of this

now when we require
more reinforcement
we have the useful
gift of friends

should all these gifts
prove just too much
there is the gift
of nature’s beauty

if we overdose
on all things tranquil
the fallback gift
is our creative spark

to prevent this gift
from being wasted
we have literature
music and art

and to preserve
dark karmic balance
we’ve been blessed
with the critique clique

finally we come
to this the greatest
of all the gifts
that we possess
and that gift being
the gift of love

though we enjoy
all of these gifts
life still can be
quite tough at times

but don’t despair
no
don’t lose hope

some secret gifts
have we been granted
to give us strength
and keep us going

the first of these
our sense of wonder
and hand in hand
our sense of awe

and should all else falter
there is the failsafe
the secret weapon
our sense of humor

but please take heed
keep careful watch
if you lose this latter
my friend
you’re screwed

• • •

rob kistner © 2009

___________________________

• you can find other NaPoMo offerings at read write poem

 

Fashion Faux Pas

NaPoMo poem #23

This is the twenty third of the poems I will write this April, in honor of National Poetry Month, as proclaimed by the Academy of American Poets.

This is a bit of whimsy inspired by the read write poem NaMoWriMo prompt #23, “a different hat”.

• NOTE: these poems will all essentially be early drafts, so edits may occur after their initial posting.

 

Fashion Faux Pas

(‘hoot’ couture)

•

I see you smirking at my hat
it’s aluminum foil – imagine that
it helps with my cell phone reception
and fascinates my cat

keeps UV rays off my bald cranium
collects morning dew for my geraniums
makes me invisible to radar
and impervious to uranium

when wearing it I’m seen from space
the reflection helps conceal my face
when raining it will never rust
it’s aerodynamic if I run a race

it made my paper’s style page
and it will soon be all the rage
the good news — one size fits all
and it’s great to line your birdcage

so don’t make fun of my chapeau
it’s great for people on the go
and quite handy if you’re grilling out
or wrapping take home from the bistro

a tip in closing I will bestow
don’t use tin, it’s crass and low
folks will stare and shake their head
tin is such a fashion ‘no’

• • •

rob kistner © 2009

___________________________

• you can find other NaPoMo offerings at read write poem

 

15 Days To Go

NaPoMo poem #16

This is the sixteenth of the poems I will be writing each day here in April, in honor of National Poetry Month, as proclaimed by the Academy of American Poets.

• NOTE: these poems will all essentially be early drafts, so edits may occur after their initial posting.

 

15 Days To Go

•

I just sit here and stare
my creative cupboard’s bare
I find I just can’t write
but I can’t be up all night
not when there’s still 15 days to go

no matter how hard I try
I just come up dry
I am most bereft
I’ve nothing poetic left
and there’s still 15 days to go

I’m not at all amused
that my muse has refused
to offer inspiration
and to add to my frustration
there’s still 15 days to go

I think perhaps I’ll draw
and hope that this will thaw
my rock-hard writers freeze
I beseech you sweet muse – please
there’s still 15 days to go

I’ve struggled and I’ve stammered
I think I’ll just get hammered
if I really tie one on
the pain will all be gone
screw it, it’s only 15 days – ya know

• • •

rob kistner © 2009

___________________________

• you can find other NaPoMo offerings at read write poem

 

Chilling Reality

NaPoMo poem #13

This is the thirteenth of the poems I will be writing each day here in April, in honor of National Poetry Month, as proclaimed by the Academy of American Poets.

It’s a bit of poetic whimsy inspired by a Wordle posted on the read write poem site.

• NOTE: these poems will all essentially be early drafts, so edits may occur after their initial posting.

 

Chilling Reality

•

the green ice machine
in the room
by the hotel pool

you know the one
that produces
the briny tasting cubes
with the acute odor of cod

well somehow
it single-handedly
achieved singularity
around 11:00 PM
last night

and
in a jubilant frenzy
ran down the stairs
freely spewing its contents

then it burst
through the main lobby
and slipped
out the front door

but before it departed
it proceeded to impugn
the candy machine
claiming it was a changeling

insisting that in fact
it was a cigarette machine
only masquerading
as sweet
and innocent

but I’m not certain
that ice machine
can be trusted

granted
it’s cool

but I always thought
something was fishy
about that apparatus
and always
took what it said
with a grain of salt

• • •

rob kistner © 2009

___________________________

• you can find other NaPoMo offerings at read write poem

 

Ziggy

NaPoMo poem #7

This is the seventh of the poems I will be writing each day here in April, in honor of National Poetry Month, as proclaimed by the Academy of American Poets.

• NOTE: these poems will all essentially be early drafts, so edits may occur after their initial posting.

 

Ziggy

•

ivory silk french-cuffed bar-collared shirt
soft as butter sweet as cream dessert

cuff links of diamonds and pure white gold
a heady treasure – bourgeois and bold

pearl-stick-pinned satin tie knotted tight
elegant as paris on a saturday night

desert-tan gabardine three-pleat slacks
euro-cuffed razor-creased sharp as tacks

snakeskin braces buttoned sterling bright
hip and killer as a rattler’s bite

black-patton striders with alligator spats
steppin’ out classy as the coolest cats

fine pinstriped linen coat double-breasted
uptown savvy and velvet vested

full-blocked rolled-brim felt chapeau
in the deepest red of a fine bordeaux

he was crisp and smooth as a dry martini
they all called him ziggy
but his name was bob

• • •

rob kistner © 2009

___________________________

• you can find other NaPoMo offerings at read write poem

 

Skyward

 

…photo below entitled “Followed by a Dream”, by Pensiero…

Skyward

•

if I could but glide
to the top of these stairs
like a bird in flight

I would soar skyward
in sweeping circles
lifted on mighty thermals

I would not be earthbound
not a prisoner of these steps
not captive by gravity

and… I would not return to work

this afternoon would be soaring
and swooping
and giving thanks
for feathers and hollow bones

• • •

rob kistner © 2009

 

…poem inspired by a different photo from Pensiero, the individual who created the photo seen in read write image #12, found at “readwritepoem”

 

Goodgolicous

 

…this jabberwockical poem was inspired by prompt #68 at “readwritepoem”…

 

 

Goodgolicous

•

a sweeply fine mirrormiz
with softical smile
swings a steply swell stutlybounce
in rare gurlygood style

such a scorchiful bodiface
as might burnlybad be
enstokes sultrification
that erosinates me

my steamliful brightenblinks
are maxfirenly dazened
by the engorgenality
she orbnously blazened

from dreamyton’s realmenhood
zoomens seductication
as my pumpinred’s forcliness
slammens enthrobination

bit I won’t slobbernly droolenate
on her poutifuss chubens
nor tenderliciously ogglenate
her mygodli bububbin

it’s lewdaciously nixated
to zing lovlustingly
so I slumberlush fair gurlygood
lasilkenously

• • •

rob kistner © 2009

 

Poems of the heart…

 

Following here you will find a whimsical poem entitled “Heartbreaker”, and humorous haiku entitled “The Color of Love”, each inspired by this Kyknoord illustration, which is offered as a visual prompt at “readwritepoem”.

 

Heartbreaker

•

this is a broken heart you see
this broken heart belongs to me
it once was vital whole and strong
‘till one day beauty came along

she reached in and stole my heart
but fickle beauty did depart
she’d found a better heart she said
and left mine hanging by a thread

my heart grew heavy with her farewell
my heart-thread snapped and down it fell
my fragile heart crashed to the ground
pieces shattered all around

I’ve tried hard to make it whole again
but I’m not sure how, and can’t say when
so it’s still a broken heart you see
a broken heart that belongs to me

• • •

 

The Color of Love

A HAIKU

•

May, the month of love

red, the color of love — yikes

I’m touching my heart

• • •

“Heartbreaker” and “The Color of Love” written by: rob kistner © 2008

 

Echolalia – 3 variations

• here are three ‘light’ pieces in response to the word “echolalia”, focusing on the word as a derivation of the Greek – “to echo or repeat”, suggested as a writing prompt by readwritepoem.

 

Liar Liar

•

you’ve killed our dream
destroyed our home
you dreadful liar liar

I’d faith in you
thought you were true
not a horrid liar liar

but you’re exposed
you can’t deny
that you’re a liar liar

I’m through with you
I will not stay
with you – you liar liar

get out of here
just leave me be
go now — you liar liar

you’ve broken me
cut out my heart
how could you, liar liar

how could you… liar liar

• • •

 

Darling Dear

•

I heard you clear
my darling dear
that spiteful little word

have no fear
my darling dear
your nastiness was heard

you seared my ear
my darling dear
some hurtfulness occurred

but your cutting jeer
my darling dear
was mostly just absurd

you’ll cause no tear
my darling dear
with what you have inferred

because listen here
my darling dear
I’m proud to be a nerd

• • •

 

Haiku

•

echolalia
can drown one’s aching heart in
melancholia

• • •

rob kistner © 2008

• you can hear more echo’s from soul’s canyon at readwritepoem