The Dark Battle

Depression has been a challenge most of my adult life.

 

The Dark Battle

~

I sometimes get very dark, my emotions get brittle. Sometimes the great bones of my life feel so heavy that anger at life swells. Try as I might to fight it, this darkness still surfaces, my inner light goes out. But I continue facing it down when I feel its chilled grip.

That is what life is, keeping the good fight, finding the balance, because life is all about balance. The keeping of it, and the regaining of it when it’s lost. And it does get lost at times, very lost

But waging the battle’s an opportunity to confront the profound, and the mysterious. The great mystery we are not meant to solve, but rather to ponder with grace and wonder, in the embrace of love. For love is the gateway to the great mystery. And it is love that will light the darkness.

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2021

 

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Bewitched

An homage to the golden days of Hollywood, and the sultry sirens that sizzled on the big silver screen.

 

Bewitched

~

goddess of the silver screen
every man’s fantasy
luscious charms beguile bewitch
a most gorgeous mystery

golden lady of sensuous gaze
a beauty sure to mesmerize
face sculpted by a master’s hand
so seductive as to scandalize

her stare whispers come hither boy
as it floats above a comely pout
spellbound by her big magic eyes
she holds your soul with no way out

her tongue tip teases her top lip’s. edge
like a supple paintbrush flowing
this woman-girl’s smile will hypnotize
then wrap around you knowing

you are now her helpless captive
quite hopelessly addicted
in the velvet grip of this smoldering vamp
but is she an angel — or fiery wicked

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2021

 

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Sunrise Sage

 

Sunrise Sage

~

on the boulevard below
last night’s rain puddles
midst the chaos of metro-clutter
held hostage by tire and curb
as if abandoned
by the disinterested waters
of mother earth

it shoulders its way through the gutters
in search of a welcoming sea

as the rising sun embraces this morning
day begins golden and crisp
bird songs echo empty sunrise streets

prisoners of this quarantine
me and my loyal iPad
we sit by this morning window
with coffee and curiosity
quietly perplexed by this morning’s news

I read The Atlantic online
CNN drones on my wall TV

occasionally distracted
I avoid both angry screens
growing troubled by our human plight
amazed how we never learn
when the answers seem so obvious

in this moment
my head drums
my frustration rises
my spirit slips
my mind drifts
lifting on the vapor ribbons
wafting from my steaming cup
until I stare unfocused

TV announcer’s mouth continues sculpting words
but I have fallen deep into my thoughts
imagining how different it would be
if I ruled this fucking world

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2021

 



 

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Wonderpages

 

Wonderpages

~

this is not a book
it is a rocket into space
taking you to amazing places
beyond your wildest imagination

where you can watch
the golden clouds of Telure
wafting up its emerald climbs
high over its warm cerulean seas

where you can hear
the shrill haunting calls
of fast coral-winged Lellurts
racing into Droon’s violet skies

or see the copper hues
of rustling Parmus fronds
fire the indigo ground mists
beneath Gemin’s crystal trees

or maybe a genie’s lamp
carrying you off to Xanadu
to Kubla Khan’s pleasure-dome
where the sacred river Alph runs

or perhaps an enchantment
that introduces you to Bastian
and you two adventure to Fantasia
to save the kingdom from The Nothing

no, this is not a book
it’s a time travel vehicle
a portal to parallel worlds
it’s a key to unlock wonders
it’s imagination’s magic carpet
it is anything you dream it to be
but it’s definitely not — just a book


~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2021

 

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Ghostin’

 

Ghostin’

~

ground red ghost pepper
just the very smallest dab
will do ‘ya
ground red ghost pepper
it adds a fiery flavor flair
ground red ghost pepper
makes flamin’ foods that rip
right through ‘ya
soon you’ll be cryin’
as you’re kneelin’
deep in prayer

  • To watch and hear me sorta SING Ghostin: CLICK HERE 
  • ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2021

     

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    https://youtu.be/5Kahhl5Qhus

    Tender Tart

     

    Tender Tart

    ~

    tender apple
    round and ripe
    twas I
    took that bite
    last night

    my mouth upon you
    hungrily
    oh lush plush pink lady

    I bite you
    firm but gentle
    sweetly as ambrosia

    you glisten
    honeycrisp
    trickle from my lips

    you taste
    golden delicious
    tart as jonagold

    tender flesh
    so succulent
    saucy treat sweetango

    again I bite
    with such delight
    your tantalizing treasure

    my soul’s afire
    heady desire
    such luscious juicy pleasure

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2021

     

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    To Sing

    I was so horrified by what transpired in our nation’s capital yesterday that I set out to write a scathingly angry piece. However, it just got darker and darker still, the more I edited — and I was dragging myself under. So instead, I turned to blissful whimsy. I will return to being pissed off tomorrow.


     
    To Sing

    ~

    a tear can cloud the brightest day
    song will brush those clouds away
    is not sadness just a passing state
    but what melody can alleviate

    a tune played true as voices ring
    little sorrows flee from such display
    thing is, too few will dare to sing
    and thus succumb to much dismay

    yet when life is lived in harmony
    what sorrow you feel will quickly fade
    joy shared in chorus works perfectly
    it swells the soul in love’s serenade

    is it not foolish to stem bliss’s bloom
    to see naught but the dark and gloom
    sing — let beautiful light the room

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2021

     


    a song is but a little thing
    and yet what joy it is to sing

     

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    Why Poet

    Certainly one of my most favorite poets is Gary Snyder. He has inspired me for years to write about the natural wilderness, an endeavor that sparks the ecstatic in me. This short poem of his that follows in parenthesis, “How Poetry Comes To Me”, directly inspired me to write the poem that follows further below, “Why Poet”. I had been in discussion with members of a poetry group years ago. We were talking about where and how we find our muse. Holding in mind this poem by Gary, I wrote the first draft of “Why Poet”. I wrote this revision found here for this prompt.

    It comes blundering over the
    Boulders at night, it stays
    Frightened outside the
    Range of my campfire
    I go to meet it at the
    Edge of the light

    © Gary Snyder

    <=|=>

     


     
    Why Poet

    ~

    damaged in my special way
    I like the path unclear
    the route unmarked

    fond of stumbling in
    fumbling through
    finding the way that’s mine

    seduced by the clue
    drawn to the fog
    I seek the wonder
    it withholds

    my ears prick
    to the distant sound
    that calls
    just beyond clarity

    it is to this
    my soul is pulled

    because

    down that path
    around a curve
    over a crest
    hidden away

    the truth dwells

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2021

     

     

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    Resilient


     
    Resilient

    ~

     
    This is the era of COVID-19. A horrific experience like none in my life. It has shocked, terrified, and killed. My fear for my family has permeated my daily life. I am old and not wishing to die, but certainly accepting of its inevitability. My life has been full.

    But my adult son and daughter have much life still to live. Watching the challenges they continue to encounter, fills me with much concern. However, seeing them embrace the ongoing changes so brilliantly, fills me with much hope. My 7-year-old grandson Alex, my son’s boy, while mildly confused by it all, and ready with questions, is maneuvering this new normal — resiliently.

    I worry for his education, but he assures me he finds school online with his friends, “kinda fun PaPa!” He answers the zoom “school bell” on his laptop every morning with a smile. He is bursting with learning, always proud to share with me what new he knows today! He, with great support and nurturing from his father and mother, have shown PaPa — love finds a way.

    grandson in zoom class
    young voice reading warms my heart
    fresh snow falls like joy


    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2021

     

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    Songstress

    Songstress

    ~

    and so songstress
    I think of you
    and wonder

    what was the fire
    that burned so bright
    and raged so fierce
    as to consume complete

    that in its heat
    and ferocity
    could not sustain
    your tenderness of youth
    until it became
    much too much
    for you to bear

    yet still I hear
    your silken voice
    rising
    to joy
    to freedom
    to love

    to lust and longing
    to heartache
    to impatience
    to immortality

    your soulful siren sound
    calling from the rooftops
    over new york city

    so seductive
    the breathless passion
    the bliss
    and sorrow
    of bittersweet innocence

    when your wonder
    stirred to every mystery
    and your spirit lit
    to every spark
    igniting the fury in your soul

    so brightly it burned
    filled with red yellow honey
    sassafras and moonshine
    in a roaring sweet blindness
    an inferno of creativity

    ultimately
    to leave you spent
    at the stony end

    and so
    crying angel
    I think of you
    sweet songstress

    remembering

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2020

    To check out more poems at The Sunday Muse: CLICK HERE

    to me the most beautiful song Laura wrote

    No Need

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    No Need

    ~

    the dream broke
    like a prodigal sun
    on a startled winter evening
    causing him to squint
    blinking away happiness
    like sand in the eyes of love

    you were there
    the dismissive femme fatale
    in this final edit

    you took his cues
    took his keys
    took his shoes
    took his leave
    took his heart…

    …took him apart

    you took him for a fool

    it wasn’t you didn’t want him
    you said
    you simply saw yourself
    in a different movie
    with a different ending

    one that saw you
    leave quietlyy alone
    through the garden
    alive with the fragrance of roses
    and the joys of the lilly

    and you said “I’d like, too,
    to plant the sweet alyssum
    that smells like honey
    and peace”

    and in this peaceful quiet
    there would be
    no long farewells
    no broken hearts
    at least
    not yours

    and the abandoned man
    in the leather chair
    had my face

    had no expectations
    made no demands
    held you responsible
    for nothing
    nothing

    and the night lark sang
    and a silver tear
    fell hard as steel
    from his crystal’d cheek
    which you collected in a sterling box
    to toss into the freezing sea
    for you had no need for tears
    no need

    you’d rolled the dice
    but the bones was loaded

    and you left the table
    cashed in your winnings
    climbed the winding stairs
    silk purse in hand
    his heart in your pocket
    to place it at midnight
    on your balcony rail
    to watch it wither in the moonlight

    he had no need for it
    now
    nor did you
    anymore

    nor most certainly
    did you

    no need

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2020

     

     

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    ALL WOULD ENVY
    ~
    old enough to be her dad
    but the young men were just mad
    they nursed their grievances
    and she was flattered by his charm
    it wouldn’t do her any harm
    they all had their chances
    he sent her flowers and limousines
    she was treated like a queen
    anything she ever wanted
    it was no problem for a man like him
    and everyone expected soon
    that she could ask him for the moon
    if she would wear his ring
    knowing glances from his friends
    in the homes at the weekends of high society
    but he didn’t give a damn
    he never felt more like a man
    and all the time the clock was ticking
    and all would envy
    the older man and his beautiful young wife
    yes all would envy
    in a house upon a hill
    she was there with time to kill
    she lived a life she’d only dreamed
    the life was never what it seemed
    to all her friends that she’d ignored
    she denied that she was bored
    she had no time for dancing
    – no time for dancing
    but the clock upon the wall
    that was ticking in the hall always reminded her
    that life was going on elsewhere
    but she was happy and she whould swear
    she wouldn’t change a thing
    and all would envy
    the older man and his beautiful young wife
    yes all would envy
    now its five o’clock am
    she must have spent the night again
    with that old friend of hers
    she loves to dance
    she’s missing more and more these days
    but he’s still stuck in his old ways
    perhaps she needs a little more romance
    but the clock upon the wall
    is still ticking in the hall
    she must be home soon – soon
    where a younger man would weep
    he takes a pill and goes to sleep
    now who would envy
    the older man and his beautiful young wife?
    who would envy? who would envy?
    ~ ~ ~
    gordon sumner © 2001

    Rage

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    Rage

    ~

    as I cautiously round the bend
    and pass beyond the eerie marsh
    I catch my first sight of it
    the cursed final destination
    of my long treacherous journey
    the castle of Zwénne the Lesser
    once my home, now foreign to me

    this castle is most ominous
    since becoming Overlord of the Realm
    Zwénne has rejected our father’s example
    as our father rejected him and his ways
    no joy warms the hallways, or towers
    this long proud and mighty old structure
    now a soulless abode of dark magic

    it has become cold and foreboding
    a nest for perverse wing’d changlings
    rumored deadly for those that dare enter
    but I know they are not just rumors
    there is undoubtedly a murderous evil
    that dwells within its walls
    raging jealousy — seething and vicious

    since conjuring the spirit
    of Döxys, the blood beast
    and having been thus possessed
    Zwénne has become bloodthirsty
    mindlessly violent and cruel
    now a ruthless predator
    whom I have come to slay

    would that this task were not mine
    but I have been charged herewith
    by the supreme council of wizards
    Zwénne is my fallen elder brother
    and by decree, under this 3rd moon
    in the presence of his perverse court
    by my hand alone, he must die

    no turning back now, this must be done
    and I must do it, but I am terrified
    I hesitate at the heavy castle door
    attempting to gain much needed composure
    I slow my heartbeat, steady my breathing
    I lift the iron latch, the lock clicks
    the massive door unseats inwardly

    this is it, fate has dealt the cards
    I am both prisoner and executioner
    trapped hopelessly in this horrible plot
    I search my soul to find the courage
    to take the life of my own flesh & blood
    I swing the door open ever so gradually
    eyes darting, mind racing, heart pounding

    I step in…

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2020

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    Fae Lauma


     

    Fae Lauma

    ~

    across the chasm of time
    and great distance
    memories unfold
    like elaborate origami sculptures

    I see soaring ramparts
    of sky-piercing mountains
    forested tier upon tier
    with enormous sitka spruce

    scattered brewers
    known as the weeping spruce
    the most beautiful of the conifer
    whose branches in summer
    display sunlight
    as a jeweler’s velvet
    showcases a gem

    and always beautiful fae Lauma
    the earthen forest spirit
    clad benevolent in glorious old growth
    conifer robe — rich and regal green

    she whispers
    in wind-stirred
    lawson cypress
    towering ponderosa pine
    and douglas fir

    her enchantment
    wafts down emerald climbs
    to brush softly my cheek
    in brisk spritely breeze

    a heady fresh bouquet
    of invigorating conifer
    dashed tantalizingly
    with tangerine-scented white fir

    a fragrance rivaled only
    by the loamy sweet spice
    of the rough-tufted red cedar

    and eternal the forest fae Lauma
    clad benevolent in glorious old growth
    conifer robe — rich and regal green
    hair of silken white-spun cloud

    the dogwood’s brilliant leaves
    big-leaf maples
    pendulous western maples
    tight ranks of dark-green sadler oak

    the golden shimmer
    and crisp crackle
    of white-barked aspen

    these are the mountains
    and forests of my oregon home
    where I will someday return

    to dance with the bewitching fae Lauma
    eyes blue-green as the realm she dwells
    clad benevolent in glorious old growth
    conifer robe — rich and regal green
    to share whispers of the mighty wood
    and reclaim my high-mountain heart

    now I have only
    sweet recall

    even in the faded light
    of distant memory
    these visions leave me breathless

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2020

     

    To check out more poems at The Sunday Muse: CLICK HERE

    Song of the Waters

    To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
    (Kahlil Gibran)


    Lost Lake, Oregon

     

    Song of the Waters

    ~

    should you encounter me wandering lost
    my countenance brittle withered and drawn
    know that my soul seeks the song of the waters
    my aching heart needs be soothed in their arms

    so deliver me to snow-melt high-mountain waters
    sweep me away in their crystal’d blue streams
    tumble me joyous in their rolling white rapids
    sail me over a waterfall grand as my dreams

    now I’ve grown weary — my leave I will take
    to rest in the peace of a deep mountain lake


    Willamette Falls, Oregon


    Mckensie River, Oregon


    Mckensie River – BluE Pool, Oregon

    ~ ~ ~

    rob kistner © 2020


     

    To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

     

    This is Jimi Hendrix’s haunting “waterfall” song.