Nourishing Waters

Our hearts irrigate the earth. We are fields before each other.
(Thomas Aquinas)


sculpture by Rose Bean Simpson

 

Nourishing Waters

~

there is a needing and a caring
a taking and a giving

pieces of one’s soul
peeled away
for the sake of the cherished

a duality of dark and light
positive and negative
that haunts the reaching out
and clutch of profaned hands
which inflict raw wounds

that also blesses the sacred touch
to sooth the burning bruise
and heal the unseen damage

a rootedness in the need to nurture

in the looking one-eyed blind
to see that which is not visible
to the unfocused seer

madness engulfs the heart
of the flat-light sighted
obscuring truth

the radiance of clarity
envelopes the sainted
illuminating the wondrous

voids of spirit
marked and remembered
are besought in the leaving time
at the crossing over
to the dream
or hard justice

I am here but for you
until all that remains are bones
taken up to strike down menace
that which means you harm

devour me complete
in validation of my path
consummation of my holy fate

I am your nourishing waters
I am your vessel of deliverance
I am your song of ascension


~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020

 

To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

The Truth

 

The Truth

~

I’m awake here late this Christmas Eve, wrestling hard with what I believe is bunk about this Santa Claus thing, and here’s the evidence that I bring.

It’s said his reindeer all can fly, but did you ever see them in the sky? So he makes all the gifts just with elfs. Then what’s the stuff in stores on shelfs? And he lands his sleigh atop our roofs! Gotta’ ask you now — heard any hoofs? They insist, he’s down the chimney into the fireplace! He’s so rotund he wouldn’t fit that space. And, oh yeah, all year long he knows how I act? Sorry, but I overwhelmingly dispute this fact.

Regarding the truth of Santa Claus, all of this proof is full of flaws. Reading what I have just written, I now believe I know what’s true. Santa Claus lives in me and you.

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020

To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE
 

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My wife and I as “singing” Santa and Mrs Clause. Before my failed health, we would visit several families each year at Christmas as a special surprise for the children. I miss it so! (real beard 🙂 )

Time’s Window



 
Time’s Window

~

I remember it so well
the moment he rescued me
from the orphanage
to change my life forever
offering a life of love
and a wonderful love-worn home

approaching my new home
it was the first thing I noticed
the fasciating weathered old window

time after time
I watched through that window
as dad returned home from work
his face chill from a winter evening
or warm from the setting sun
always wonderfully gritty

day’s end stubble
would scrub my cheeks
as he’d gather me in his arms
coming through the door
factory permeating his khaki shirt

I love that puzzlingly pleasing smell

soon as he was in the house
he’d grab me up
tumble me to the floor
lift me high in the air
to fly
right out that magical window

I could always fly with my dad’s support

and the time he shielded me
behind his strong legs
as the neighbor’s rabid collie
came at me so suddenly
snarling at me through that old window

I was frightened but felt so safe

and those magical moments
as a child
every christmas eve
dad would take me by the hand
and walk me uptown
into our little burg
through the brisk air
under the bright lights of the season
and into each cozy store

everyone was celebrating
shop owners heaping candy
and assorted goodies on me

then we’d head back home
as we approached
I saw our christmas tree
somehow magically decorated
sparkling through that window

it was a christmas miracle
every year

santa had come
while we were gone

I was always confused
by the multiple santas
we would encounter on our little walk

but I was never confused
about my father’s love

then there’s the time
he introduced me to hardball
broke a pane in that old window

his rubbing away the tears
first time
I was hit by a pitch

and when he taught me to catch
then throw a football

the moment he handed me the keys
to his classic Chrysler
parked right outside that window
shiny — and now mine

when he cried at my graduation
and again at my marriage
and still again
at the birth
of each of his three grandchildren

I see so many incredible memories
floating toward and past me
gazing out that window

so many

a lifetime of love
captured and framed
by that weathered old window

dad lies quietly in bed now
under that worn old window
love folds frail on his timeworn face
and gentle tears

I add mine
falling
mixing with his
as I stand over him
leaning down to kiss his cheek
helpless
watching him go

sun embracing softly on his weary form
through that old window

I linger to kiss his stubbled face
one last time

“goodbye dad, you saved my life!”


~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020

 

To check out more poems at The Sunday Muse: CLICK HERE

This Wilderness

 

This Wilderness
TRAVELING IN THE WILDERNESS

~

this afternoon’s sun is crisp and bright
enfolding my walking stride in warmth
I’m surrounded by a vivid presence
the world fetching fresh and fascinating

I have set out now past noonday
the joy of discovery always palpable
when traveling in the wilderness
my senses saturated and alive

there falls a deep satisfaction
that permeates this afternoon
my soul is full my mind is clear
my heart bursts — overflowing

I journey until dusk descends
heady with wondrous expectation
my stride is smooth and steady
into the golden downing sun

early shadows fall soft upon me
as vesper’s velvet blanket
drapes ’round my shoulders
splendid calm envelops me

yet there are other shadows
strange distractions
that disrupt my moments
they come quite unannounced

with still far to go
I am eager to journey
drawn by the beauty
the rising moon in sunset

into the evening breeze
I venture onward
vivid ambers and corals
spread across the horizon

again the shadows shift
dull confusion finds me
I lose my pace and focus
to draw up momentarily

nagging concern
disquiets me
a stab of panic
pierces my solace

bewilderment grips
holds me
uncomfortably
I must return home

a cloud of frustration
sweeps over me
obscuring briefly
my destination

then the fog wafts
and again I see
across the veiled valley
my hearth & home

but I wander
again I lose the path
as the mist settles
like a shroud

twilight is coming
much too quickly
and my concern
mounts gravely

a gathering fear
gnaws inside
I’ll not make home
before this night

I am afraid
to lose this light
I am afraid
to lose my way
I am afraid
this wilderness

I am afraid

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~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020


 
To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

………………………..

I wrote this piece to reflect the very early stages of Alzheimer’s, when the individual is not certain what is happening, and has not yet been diagnosed – but is beginning to become concerned, and the fear begins to rise. In some ways, this is the disease at its most devious. It is manipulating the person, yet they’re not aware what evil is overtaking them.

This piece seeks to emphasize that devious nature. Alzheimer’s is a sneak thief that subtly begins to disrupt our daily life, and steal pieces of time, creating a fractured reality — that gradually grows more and more unsettling. It then begins to rob us of our life-learned skills, our talent, our grace, and our dignity. Finally it kidnaps our memories, our loved ones — and then takes our life.

The stanzas here gradually diminish in size to reflect the diminishing nature of this killer. Bless all those stricken with this monster.

We Abide

 

We Abide

~

shrouded by evening in waning november
we’ve gathered close in deep reflection
as our days tumble towards winter
we abide the losing of the light
this ever growing darkness
the advance of the cold
this time of endings
on barren land
we’ll abide
hopeful

|
*

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020

 

To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

Ghosts

An old man remebering his days of young love.


— Summer of 1963 —

Author’s Note:
My inspiration for writing “Ghosts” was drawn from my youth, as represented by the images at the top. Also, strangely enough, from a wonderful novel by Peter Heller entitled “The Dog Stars”. It was reinforced by my awoken curiosity, which found me sampling the top 100 hits of 1963, which was the soundtrack for the summer of my 16th year. This was the summer of my ’57 Chevy Bel Air, of my ‘63 Triumph 650 Bonneville motorcycle, the summer of my first rock and roll band, and my first “girl”. This entire journey back in time was initially prompted by my stumbling upon an old picture of that Chevy.

Looking back at my early teen years, those years when I was waiting for my life to begin, I flashed on my memories of young love. The intensity of that tender pure unrealistic infatuation could perhaps have happened only then, in those times – in that summer of 1963. Before assasinations, collapsing economies, open social unrest, Viet Nam, before AIDS, COVID-19, rampant drugs, criminal presidents – the year of the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show, the Beach Boys took the world surfing, Annette Funicello playing beach blanket bingo, red Chevy ragtops, Triumph Bonnevilles, OpArt, and President Kennedy challenging us to go to the moon. This was a time, maybe the last time, when teens were truly naive and innocent.

I don’t know why that feels true. Perhaps it’s because we were so naive and so unsure as teens, in that post WWll, white-picket-fence, father-knows-best, american-dream, faux-utopia. We were tentative and waiting, wondering. It’s like love imagined that innocent needed that much room, that much “open” mental space, that much emotional “safety”, that much unbridled belief, for it to take root, and to bloom – even if but for a brief moment in time.

The not knowing anything really for certain, but hoping, with aching faith in the possibility of pure true love, was both thrilling and unsettling. It was a love full of passion and devotion, but scary. We were not completely certain how to navigate such an emotion, not really, so we left it alone, tried to let it unfold lightly, terrified we would lose it. And if it did manifest, it felt so big and beautiful, and unbelievable! It was most often short-lived, owing to our immaturity – but what intoxicating joy, such heady exhileration! Those were the times when the apparitional wings of young love did fly to the moon, and carried us along. Here is “Ghosts”…

 
Ghosts

~

strong slender legs
carry firm eager bodies
perfumed and cologne’d
around and across the dance floor
pulses racing

electrified — entwined — excited

young groping lust
craving
yet hesitant

swept up in innocent bliss
shadowed near the band shell
beyond the glow of incandescence

throbbing with the big beat
of scorching rock & roll

smoldering for some
longing for more
confusing for most

a pubescent play
beneath a high starry sky
sparking with carnal fantasies

humid as our urgent embraces
hot as our stolen kisses
as forever as our promised love
in that distant
sizzling
teenage midnight…

…sweet ghosts of my youth
haunt from long ago

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2012
unpublished 1st draft © 2007
updated © 2020


Me in 1963


Like my car in 1963

Six of Seven


The Pleiades (1885) by Elihu Vedder

 
Six Of Seven

~

Perpetually six of seven
Linked in the deep night sky
Ethereally beautiful sisters
Incredible mythical maidens
Alluring in their mystery
Dispersed across the heavens
Evermost in their separation
Six less the mortal-bound seventh

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020

 

To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

That Moment

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That Moment

~

I remember well, the times we walked our favorite old growth. Most especially that perfect June morning, we trekked deep into that ancient wood, to our favorite spot — our secret clearing. The morning sun filtered softly through the canopy, drifting golden into our sacred space, setting your handsome face aglow. A breeze rustled the treetops, whispering of eternity, casting a spell.

Awed by the splendor, we talked quietly, leaning on the downed Douglas that slumbers there, perhaps centuries, peaceful in its earthen repose. You were eighteen, off to college soon, so excited! I was so in awe of you son.

In that moment, time suspended, life aligned for a perfect memory — my very last of you. Three weeks later you were tragically killed. This memory is left here under the forest canopy, in our clearing, where my heart still journeys — to talk with you.

you left in summer
I will leave in my winter
our clearing awaits

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020

* This month is my son Aaron’s birth month. He has been vividly on my mind.

 

To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

Lux Mori

 

Lux Mori

~

— REPOSE —

coarse lands cloaked in white
fall into a death-life stun
winter’s dressing hand
shrouds the dormant earth’s repose
waiting for reviving sun

~ ~

— REBIRTH —


we cross this solstice night
the final dying of the light
as this spent year wanes
seasons circle back again

life’s cycles will reprise
a fertile new year will arise
may the power of light’s rebirth
bring bounty’s blessings to the earth


~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020

 
To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

His Mother’s Eyes

 

His Mother’s Eyes

~

he lifts himself quietly
from beneath the sheets
soiled with neglect

makes his way carefully
past the shallow-breathed crumple
that lay milky-eyed in a heap
un-moving on the floor
save a twitch of the sodden head

this wreckage is his mother

why do you just lie there mother
my head is full of demons son

the response only imagined
she remains slack and death-like
where nocturne angels of sweet release
had laid down lush upon her
in fevered embrace
lustfully conjured
by last night’s spoon and lance
still skewered silver in the soured vein

mother — why do you want to die
the return is only silence

he lingers but a moment
verifying life
then moves on
head down
trying to remember
his mother’s eyes

he angles to the bathroom
to the scum-brown bowl
to wash his face
a face lit sallow by the yellowed bulb
that hangs bare and lonely

eyes of knowing
eyes of sadness
stare into the mirror
broken as his heart
then close

your eyes hold a story my son
will you tell me your story

yes mother
if you really want to hear it
if you really could

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020

 
To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

Cerulean Eyes


 
Cerulean Eyes

~
across the way
last night’s rain
puddles
‘midst the field of clover

trapped for the moment
isolated from the waters of earth

it gentles its way to the stream
in search of mother sea

this day begins
dewy and crisp

bird songs lilt
‘cross the sunrise lane

lover and beloved
we sit by the morning window
with tea
and curiosity.

we talk

in this moment
our souls spill
one into the other
until I am distracted

your lips continue sculpting words

but I’ve fallen deep
aswim in your cerulean eyes

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020

 

To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

Ultralightning

…dad taught me fast-paced ultralight fishing, I my son, now he his son…

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— always barbless catch & release —

 
Ultralightning

~

steady brings the willow’d shaft
high overhead
flexing expectantly

quick twist of my wrist
the rod arcs forward
increasing the pressure
on my fingertip

it whips ahead
urgently
demanding release

with precise pluck
like a string
on a guitar

lure’s launched
eagerly seeking possibility

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020


8.5 lbs trout I caught on 2 lbs ultralight

To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

Above It All



To watch me read Above It All: CLICK HERE
 

Above It All

~

I want to live in the redwoods
way up high among the branches
in a tall tall stilt-house

several observation platforms
at different landings
as you climb the stairs
that zig zag
into the forest canopy

* motorized lift optional

a three-story stilt-house
by a rippled cerulean mountain lake
huge wrap around porches
on each floor

the top level
a place I could write
create my mixed-media art
one huge open room

where my wife too
could have her fiberart studio
her prep and assembly tables
and her big Toika loom

the roof — one big deck
from which to see
far as the eye could see

so very liberating
exhilarating

riding out big storms
like flying
but anchored secure

our stilt-house made of wood
recycled planked woods
redwood
maple
teak

and anodized aluminums
leathers
stones

lots of tempered crystal-clear acrylic

we’d feed all things that fly
eagles
osprey
hawks
birds

a place high up
in the sun-dappled canopy
where we’d live — work — laugh
crank up our music and dance
all in the nude
if we wanted

make love
windows wide open
hearts wide open
minds wide open
the sun and breeze
dreams and worries
free to come and go

I want to live free
high among the redwood trees
where we could both truly be

above it all

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2020

 
To check out more poems at dVerse: CLICK HERE

 

  • Read another recent poem of mine, “Sorrow’s Witness”, about majestic trees. It’s raw reality, not light fantasy: CLICK HERE