Here
in the dream level
most like drowning
the id holds court
our darkest secrets
play out
in the false light
of veiled memory
recollections of fantasies
intersect our nightmares
drawing us
onto the plane of shadows
through the lair of the lost
into the realm
of the almost familiar
where everything lives
at the edge of clarity
unmade promises
teeter precariously
on the tips
of rigor’d tongues
and hearts break
under weight
of unexpressed love
a sorrow
impossible as
breathing underwater
it is here
I forsook forever
that which
I never found
forgiveness
*
rob kistner © 2022
Poetry at: The Sunday Muse
This truly is breathtaking Rob. Each line another amazing glimpse into how dreams can truly be. Those last lines and the breathing underwater metaphor are brilliant! Love this!!
Thank you Carrie.! 🙂 But if we hold to fast and firm to a dream we’ve created of a mate, of a lover — we may well miss the real thing when it presents itsslf.
It feels, indeed, as if we’re all living at the edge of clarity, held prisoner by the rigor’d tongues in Washington. Dear Lord, when will those ancient Repubican pols grow some cajones!!
Nice segue into seeking the perfect love. I hadn’t thought you were going in that direction. You always amaze me!
Thank you Bev. I just got the image of being in suspension. Maybe circumstance is holding one in suspension, fear, procrastination, persecution, maybe unrealistic expectations formed in dreams. The “you” at the end could be speaking to someone else, an imagined lover, a friend that you hurt with your insecurity or your unreliability — head-in-clouds carelessness. Maybe the you is self-directed — you lost yourself by chasing unrealistic dream-like, fantastical expectations. Or you did something you can’t forgive yourself for. A lot of scenarios materialized in my mind as I wrote this. Could be someone who disappointed you. The you is multi-applicable. Perhaps the you is selfspeak saying you’ve lost faith in something or someone.
This really has a feel of the image, which I found claustrophobic and annulling. Here you wind us up and out of it into a place where we float on a different substance than water, our own thoughts, feelings and subconscious fears and desires. I especially like the opening and closing stanzas.
NThank you had which. The piece gave me a sensation of being suspended perhaps between thoughts perhaps uncertain perhaps up and removed from what was happening with those feelings that I went with and what I wrote I appreciate your kindness thank you
An amazing poem! The lines echoed the impression of floating and shifting.
Thank you so much Chrissa, I appreciate the kind words and don’t take the compliment lately I’m humbled.
“a sorrow impossible / as breathing underwater” – perfect!
Thank you qubit, I’ll except the verdict of perfection, but I would be more comfortable with just a damn good job rob. But I am grateful for your kind words, and humbled.
What a deft, amazing poem, Rob.
Shay thank you so much. I appreciate your kind words and respect your opinion so it means something to me.
‘the ids hold court’ ….. four wonderfully meaningful words strung together. One of my favorite Rob poems.
Thank you Helen I appreciate your kind words. That phrase struck me as well when it popped into my head I felt strong. I am glad it resonated for you.
and hearts break
under weight
of unrequited love
The malign that had been lethal since the beginning of times. Unrequited and unfavored, what a tragedy!
Hank
Isn’t it absolutely the story as old as time. We’ve probably all been there Hank.
“on the tips of rigor’d tongues” What a powerful line. We seem to all be hanging on an edge, a question mark we want answered, but seems will never come.
Thank you Susie… 🙂 …answers, seems not enough to go around. At least my pleas for a US President and VP with integrity has been answered!
“where everything lives
at the edge of clarity”
Well said and felt.
Sounds like life doesn’t it Sara?
This is one of your finest Rob, that we all enjoyed so much. This was one of Chrissa’s features, and a truly great one to write to. Feel free to write a new one to one of the others or event this one as well. Have a great weekend, and thank you for showing up for the 200th Muse!
Thank you Carrie. Really loved this image. If my energy holds for the weekend, I may have at another?!. 🙂
“where everything lives
at the edge of clarity”
Dreams do give that sense of reality.
Wishing a good Sunday to you Rob
Much love
Thank you uou, much love to you Gillena.
Submerged in the waters of a dream. Yes, sometimes fantasy takes one to waters of emotions. I think sometimes, dreams lead us to the person we are looking for or perhaps, one dreams about the person they wish to be closer to…it all get caught in the ripples of time. The anchor of weight can be too much so we cut the rope and hope we float to the surface to breathe in a new day.
So much here, I don’t know where to begin…on the edge of clarity..it is a sorrowful place at times…
I see myself drowning in a sea of tears…sigh…
You are in a deep vein of thought and I feel connected in streaming of a dream….
Happy Sunday….
This emerged from my recall of drowning dreams I have occasionally True, but there is no fear or panic — they are more bizarrely wonderful my friend, a world to explore… but at times there is guilt, like I am searching for absolution.
Forsaking the quest for a forgiveness you’ve never found. I resonate with that, Rob. A wonderful poem. I love “sorrow as impossible as breathing underwater.” I totally get that.
I think many of us seek or certainly need a particular forgiveness my friend, that we have never found, or foolishly never sought Sherry, only to give up on it, owing to fear, extreme guilt, arrogance, or the happenstance of the passing of irretrievable time — and carry that unforgivenness with us to the grave, as a weight in the heart.
Rob such a sad ending. We can’t force forgiveness either from another or from ourselves upon another. It’s like putting a bud’s blossom on a deadline. When the time is right, all will be clear and all will be forgiven (either here or in the hereafter!)
I think once we move on to the pure energy state of our evolution we won’t be concerned about forgiveness — but guilt can certainly weigh on one until we cross that threshold of assimilated evolution.
Happy 200th TSM Rob! Glad I had a chance to re-read this one.
Thank heavens for TSM! And thank you JR!
Rob – or perhaps we don’t, carry the unforgiveness to death? Just wen I needed it, I received a book by Hannah Arendt last year or so, and opened it to phrase of hers: … reconciliating where there is no reconciliation… (quoted from memory). Best wishes to you -,
Perhaps Barbara? I am certain it does not go beyond our death because matters of the mortal self are not carried across the elevated energy threshold of assimilated evolution. But there are matters of grave guilt that I believe can be carried to the point of that threshold.
“Lair of the lost”
This stood out for me, as I feel much like that lately.
This is a stunning poem, Rob!
Thank you Sara. There is so much confusion and uncertainty swirling around in the the mad world these past couple years, that lost is how many of us have felt — I certainly don’t really feel grounded — insurrection, divide, disease & death, lock-down, invasion, supply chain woes, economy challenges… it is a recipe for feeling lost.
“It is here
I forsook forever
that which
I never found
forgiveness”
Paralysis among movement, chaos… and then even giving up on finding inner peace?
Hard situation.