Now I hate guns, and I hate war!
My Killer’s Mouth
I’d wished had been endless
at our tearful farewell
your body supple and warm
pulsing with life
as we kissed
lips lush as cognac
open softly to kisses
urgently linger
the taste of your kiss on my lips
I passed through security
turned and fixed on your gaze
praying it was not the last time
I’d look into your beautiful eyes
I wandered dazed down the ramp
to the jet that would take me
to the fury of hell
I locked your face of love
deep in my heart
That cherished image
proved my grasp on sanity
through two years of horror
through the sting of separation
the bitter taste of war
the foul stench of death
I return this day
facing reality at 30,000 feet
the salt of sadness on my cheeks
bitter on my lips
not of my making
but I feel the guilt of war
I’m frightened to see
to touch you again
but I burn to do so
I’ve been waiting so long
so different now
my hands angry with bloodshed
innocence is lost
I fear a kiss
from my killer’s mouth
will forever defile
your precious lips
lush as sweet cognac
that day we parted.
__________|*|__________
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I do hate war, even though I know that sometimes they have to be fought… and it does change people… it truly does.
The arrogance and greed of we humans are two key root causes Bjorn. We are the only living things on earth who claim intelligence, yet we are the most out-of-balnce of sll living things — with regard to the planet and each other. So sad!
Oh, those times so many of us still can’t talk about; probably never will; will only say whatever we have to say to try and get their current cousins to end.
And it all seems so easy, now; seems like all you have to say is: “It’s easy. The only thing you have to change is your mind.” But even so, as often as I say it, as often as I try to display it, it seems to fall on the deafest ears, the blindest eyes.
But I’ll never stop.
Thanks for sharing this slice, Rob.
You are welcome Ron. I lost 7 really good friends to Viet Nam — 5 in-country, 2 after they returned. One of the returnees took his own life, the other never returned emotionally, and was consumed and killed by heroin. That was a horrible, unnecessary war — and for years the veterans of that war were treated like shit.
War indeed affects people in more ways than one 🙁 I am especially moved by; “I return this day facing reality at 30,000 feet the salt of sadness on my cheeks bitter on my lips.”
Not to cliché here Sanaa, but war is truly hell, and many casualties remain walking.
“a quiet tear for what is so often sadly lost” … my former husband and father of my children spent a hellish year in Da Nang Vietnam. There during the Tet Offensive …. that war ruined us.
War ruins Helen. Not sure there are any real victors.
A sensitive and heartaching tribute poem, Rob. Nothing I can add here except I also have the deepest respect for our veterans.
Thank you Lisa. 🙂
Beautiful, Rob.
Thank you Xan!
How so real and so moving the moments of embrace before the departure. At that moment the horrors of war are in our thoughts but none talk about it then. Great wordcraft Rob!
Hank
Thank you Hank! Tough subject.
An emotional read! Sorry to hear you lost so many friends in Viet Nam. It broke so many. The depiction of the guilt and shame here from the soldier is palpable.
Glad it resonated for you Tricia.
A deeply emotional and raw poem Rob. Your words are so tender and I felt the agony of that soldier and how war had changed him forever.
Thank you Christine.
A great poem of the metamorphoses from a husband and lover to that unknown person who returns from hell, expected to be normal again! A very sad happening!
It is sad Dwight, but sadly, until the human species truly learns the path of peace and the ways of love, it will continue.
Thank you for giving me some insight into how it feels to be leaving a loved one under such difficult circumstances, Rob. A touching poem. I too hate war – but I also hate the word ‘hate’. Why can’t humans just get along together?
You are welcome Kim, I don’t mean to sound negative, but I do not believe the human species is capable of living in balance with each other, nor in balance with this beautiful planet, which we’ve battered into fragility. We are but one group of passengers on this spaceship earth, and we are shitting in the halls.
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I’m not sure my comment went through – I wanted to send you some “clapping” emojis.
This was perfectly penned, in my opinion.
-David
My website is too old to recognize emojis David, but I appreciate your intention.
Thank you for the round of applause David! 🙂
And the irony is that we are looking at this war and the waste and horror of it from the perspective of the invader whose casualties were tiny compared with the Indo-Chinese casualties. Entire countries in ruins, hundreds of thousands of refugees with nowhere to go, dead trying to flee. It was the Vietnam War, somebody else’s war, waged over a bogey in somebody else’s country. A criminal tragedy, as are most wars.
And what’s more tragic Jane, is that the casualties are not the small handful of leaders who create the wars, and then stay behind safely, while other innocents they drag into their war, are killed, maimed, mentally ruined, and displaced. WAR SUCKS!
Your words echo the sad truth, that’s it’s not just bodies that die in war.
The invisible uncounted deaths Kerfe, that occasionally cause ongoing, broader reaching tragedies and sorrows. WAR SUCKS!
WOW. This really touched me. So much is conveyed through poetry that can’t be conveyed just through talk.
Thank you Colleen. Poetry hoes yo the heart and soul of the matter, not deflection and misdirection.
Powerful and moving, Rob. I can’t see how anyone who goes to war can return unchanged. This has been true forever, but it’s only recently that we’ve recognized that fact.
I’m so sorry about your friends.
Thank you Merril.
we have always known, look at this thought about Grendel from beowulf and ptsd. https://opencommons.uconn.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1394&context=srhonors_theses
Information being available and knowing are two very different things. We know what we choose to “know”.
well penned, thanks for your service! This explains so much …
Thank you Kate! I did a 2-year stint in Army Reserve Officer Training, but my service lottery number came up 292 so I never had to go in-country, into the heart of the fighting. However many friends, and fellow trainees went in — and not all returned. Those were crazy, violent, sad and terrifying days.
This view for 30,000 feet. I have been on those planes leaving and coming for Op Enduring Freedom, so much different but similar. I was a doctor, my experience much different from officers and soldiers of the line, but still felt changed, part of the machine. I am not saying my experience even compares, but I do relate to that feeling of coming and going. you have captured this so tenderly here Rob.
Thank you Lona — listen, service is service, and every duty was essential yo the effort!
This is searing. All you need to know is there are tears in my eyes…and they came not so far into it. A powerful write.
It is heartbreaking Lillian. Many of our men and woman deal with it everyday still in America’s war in Afghanistan (2001-present) — our longest war in history. The big difference in Viet Nam was, we young high school and college aged boys were forcibly drafted, quickly and rather ineffectively indoctrinated, then sent in-country to the jungles of Nam, to fight for survival — under penalty of imprisonment. They then returned home to little support from our government, and indifferent and sometimes cruel treatment, by their fellow Americans. innocent military personnel took the abuse that should have been directed at our leaders, for that irresponsible, deadly, and costly debacle.
This is very well written, Rob.
My heart goes out to anyone who would have to endure this.
Thank you Ken. Many deal with it everyday in America’s war in Afghanistan (2001-present).