My current, and likely final art project
artists must create
when that expression is robbed
the soul is wounded
Here you see me sorting the small portion remaining of the hundreds of Talisman I have created over the years. Severe arthritis in my hands deemed these will be my last. Here I’m choosing the colors and textures of leather mounting backs I wish to use with each. They will then be prepared for sale, mat-mounted individually in 6” x 8” black lacquered, solid wood, double frames, which I’d constructed.
I created my Talisman by disassembling discarded jewelry parts & pieces, “found” over the years at secondhand stores, garage sales, and estate sales. Each contains 6 to 18 random parts I reclaimed from scrapped jewelry, using jeweler’s tools. Then, using sterling or gold jewelry findings (fasteners, connectors, endings, and wire), I rejoined by hand, again using jeweler’s tools, and upcycled unrelated elements, to create each unique, cohesive Talisman.
These are my final Talisman. Arthritis has already robbed me of my ability to create my Serenity Totems, which I sold for years, at top juried art shows nationwide. 6 examples of the 3’ midsized, and 1 of the large 4’ Totems, you see below. The complex steps to create my handmade Totems were many, utilizing a wide variety of upcycled materials and techniques, including woven elements from my wife. Each Totem featured a completed Talisman as one of its elements.
I also partnered with my wife Kathy for 33 years in our Fibrations Studios. She is a master weaver. I would design and build the creative mounting substrates and unique tops for her pieces. She and I co-displayed at these national juried art shows over the years, selling our art together. I will no longer be able to build for my wife. All these particular joys of creation are now forever lost to me — I mourn deeply.
oh these deft fingers
that created fantasies
have now betrayed me
*
rob kistner © 2022
Hi! I’m Edgrrr, I was rob’s shih tzu. He misses me every day.
Poetry at: dVerse
~ Shots of my creative activity in my studio ~
~ Examples of our Fibrations Studio’s work ~
Ouf…the sound I made when your haiku hit me after the interesting but sad prose….but then that haiku…that haiku…incredible haibun…
I am in a dark state of mind these days Ain. The shit going on in the world, my heart failure in its final stage, losing my ability to create the art I have loved — I am in a dark place.
I can feel your heart breaking throughout this, Rob.
Sucks right now Ken.
I am so sorry to hear this, Rob. But what wonderful artwork your hands have created over the years: you should be proud of this!
Thank you Ingrid, very much. It is damned hard to have something you love, slip away, and be powerless to prevent it.
Hi Rob, I found myself very touched by your contribution this time round and want to give you some heart. There is much unique beauty in the craft you have conjured here and that isn’t going anywhere -so be warmed by that. Myself, for any creative spirit, I often think it is our wounds in life that propel us to reach further and give more to the world, each in our own way – looking to become whole again… The impetus to create and share with others. Your words here too very touching. I recognise you are feeling down right now, but the truth here is you are still shining, my friend…
Thank you Scott, very much. There is comfort and warmth in your comment here. Even in this moment of deep disappointment, I have spent the evening reflecting upon all the places creating my art has taken me, all the people I have met, and who have touched me, and I them. It is a treasure trove of experiences and memories — for which I am deeply grateful.
Oh Rob, I too feel your heartbreak. But think of the many people that your art has touched and will continue to give delight and joy to. Hold onto that tightly.
Thank you Kim. I do feel gratitude. I also have some Totems and some Talisman’s remaining — so maybe one more West Coasst juried art show before I am done, if I can get help for the 4-days with the booth — setup, operation, and tear down? I can sit and effectively present for sale.
So very sorry to hear that you have to set aside your artistic passion because of arthritis. I took some time to look around at the beautiful art that you’ve created and to me, much of it is quite spiritual and very meaningful. I hope that with some time to process your new state of being that your mood will lift. Gayle ~
Thank you so much!
Rob, you’ve brought so much joy into the world through your poetry, music, and art. It has got to be devastating to be forced to give up something you love to do so much. I am hoping there is a way to keep your hands-on creative spirit alive. Thank you so much for sharing some of the works that you and Kathy have created over the years. They are truly magnificent!
Thank you Lisa. I have no regrets. My world was huge when I was younger, even more huge in my early adulthood, enough memories there to last 10 lifetimes. Now my world is small, and getting smaller, and my abilities diminishing. But truly, though I have frustrations now, such as losing my hand’s ability to create art, and failing health, and very real fears for my family in this fucked up world — but for me personally, truly no regrets that matter.
Oh Rob, how beautiful these are! Though your fingers bring betrayal, may these beauties bring great appraisal.
Thank you Mary. Losing the amazing experience of creating the work, traveling around the country to juried art shows in fascinating places to display the work, to commune with other successful artists of varied creative disciplines, setting up the booth, sharing the work with art lovers and the art curious, the kindness of the volunteers at these shows, the compliments from people of all walks of life who are moved by art, the good fortune of finding a new home for a piece with someone who treasures the work — losing all these wonderful experiences is like losing a piece of your heart and soul. It is unbelievably difficult, and robs you of a bit of your vitality and life. My slide down health-wise has been obviously exacerbated by losing these incredible experiences. 🙁
So sorry for you… it must be terrible when your tools give up on you… wonderful writing
It really is Bjorn — and thank you. 🙂