prompt #13 at We Write Poems,
and the August 2nd prompt at Big Tent Poetry.
•
icy round
the wolf’n eye
soft and round
the riding breast
roundness
in the grande dame’s fear
a circle round
the blood moon’s crest
there are lies
within that circled moon
that surround
this cruel charade
they gather
and collect the tears
‘til midnight’s debt
is fully paid
‘til innocence
is found to want
and purity
so deep defiled
that cold and soulless
lupen eyes
will cleave the sweet
in red and wild
and all that once
was tender
will on this night
turn beastly raw
and guilted
hearts be locked away
to deny at dawn’s light
the truth they saw
• • •
rob kistner © 2010
After a chilling Gothic preamble, I love the curse-like voice of
“and all that once
was tender
will on this night
turn beastly raw…”
Disturbingly beautiful!
Thank you Gemma…
…rob
Mournful and chilling. Yikes, was that a howl I just heart?
Thank you, and I hope not Willow… 😐
…rob
….and heard?
That either Willow… 😐
…rob
Oh chilling and raw. Nice lupen reimagining Rob.
Thank you Irene…
…rob
A very chilling piece indeed!
Pamela
A little wolf play over ice Pamela…
…rob
OOOO–to the bone. I love this piece, Rob. Your inclusion of the moon was ingenious. “There are lies within that circled moon…”
Thank Brenda, you are most gracious… 😉
…rob
very skillfully done!
love the soft and gentle touch on the moon.
Soft, gentle, and just a bit bloody Jingle…
…rob
http://itistimetothinkformyself.blogspot.com/2010/08/between-u-and-me.html
my entry for journey…
😉
I will make certain this shows up on Writer’s Island Jingle — if it isn’t already there…
…rob
I guess the moon WOULD be full when that happens. I love connecting the round eye with the moon. Great job!
Thank you so much Diane…
…rob
Oh…. i love that! i love the darkness, the cold, the cruel biting fear of the night. I love those dark poems, and have tried to recreate several times myself! WOW! i love! i got one called SHADOW thats dark too. check it out if ya like!
Your enthusiasm is much appreciated PonyGirl, thank you — and I will check out your piece… 😉
…rob
Dark indeed Rob. I enjoyed where this prompt took you. Is that really a wolf’s eye? So different from a dog eye. This one looks more like a cat. Just wondering. Neat to include the moon in this–the blood red moon–such an image!
Thank you Peggy, I am pleased you enjoyed this… 😉
The eye surfaced in a search for wolf eyes, and I liked its other-worldliness. In this poetic tale, it is the eye of our wolf’n predator, thus adding to the mystery…
…rob
Eerie and beautifully done to this prompt! And the picture went with it sooooo well.
Thank you Mary, I am pleased this spoke to you… 😉
…rob
I could almost hear Vincent Price reading the words.
Great atmosphere to it.
I saw Teen Wolf last night – what a contrast.
Uncle Vincent, cool visualization Stan — would have loved to have heard ‘the voice’ read these words… 😉
…rob
oooooo so well done!
oooooo so very kind, thank you Kathe..
…rob
I’m gad I didn’t read this while alone in the house on a dark and stormy night. Brilliantly executed, as usual, Rob.
Thank you Viv, I was hoping I might catch you on sleepless night… 😉
…rob
nicely imagined Rob…thanks for this
You are always welcome Wayne… 😉
…rob
I like this very much, Rob. You should try verse more often. Love the image too. Also liked Stan’s idea of Vincent Price!
Thank you Derrick! I dabble occasionally with rhyme — but it does not spark my fire most of the time… ever since Stan suggested Vincent’s voice, I hear it over and over, reading the cadence of the piece. as only he could have…
…rob
Rob, I find so much here, it’s hard to pick out one or two things to speak into. This seems to be a reflection on the Red Riding Hood tale, the wolf, the unaware child, and the moon looking on and shedding a tear for what can so easily happen in the deep forest that has come to represent the shadow in each of us. I can hear it read in the wise voice of an old crone, stirring her pot as she bends over a fire, mesmerizing the young ones who have crept close to hear, to listen, and to learn.
Thank you,
Elizabeth
I am pleased this engaged you ElizaBeth, and I really like your vision of the crone — very cool…
…rob
I love how bloody, wanton, and dark this reads. I especially like your connection between eye and breast, and how your short, detail packed lines draw the reader into the darkness. I enjoyed reading this.
-Nicole
Thank you Nicole, I appreciate your kind words…
…rob
Spooky and wonderful!
Thank you Cynthia…
…rob
nicely pieced together Rob…well done as usuall
Thank you Wayne…
…rob
Loved it!
wolfish grins
Thank you Gautami…
…rob