“ And the seasons, they go round and round, and the painted ponies go up and down — we’re captive on the carousel of time” — The Circle Game, Joni Mitchell
“The Carousel” — Anne Wipf
Sitting, lost in a daydream, when through the deep caves of thought I hear a voice that sings — “we’re captive on the carousel of time, we can’t return, we can only look behind…” Briefly disoriented, I remember that I’ve been listening to music, to Joni Mitchell’s live album. She is singing “Circle Game”.
I fall again, deep into thought, now contemplating my life, how the years have spun by, wild as a top — faster ever faster. It’s left its patina etched deeply into my face. I’m no longer a young man. At 75, I’ve known triumph and tragedy, both left their mark. I’ve borrowed, bought, and sold — strayed through several shades of grey. But have I leveraged away my soul, just to play this fleeting game? Is all I’ve lost worth what I gained? Am I happy? Questions begin spinning round, and round, and round.
rob kistner © 2022
More prosery at: dVerse
I never thought I would ever see this again — Joni Mitchell singing live! WOW!
https://youtu.be/b5OIlK1g3yA
https://youtu.be/lDzybU85ZXc
I love you Joni, you ARE a goddess! You are still magic! Bless you Brandi for this.
Contemplation is worthy of our aging. It keeps us connected in deeper moments of our timely journey.
Much love…
Yes it certainly does Gillena — much love my friend.
Thought provoking indeed!
Thank you Carol. Reflecting is good for the soul.
I love that Joni Mitchell song! As we get older everything begins to speed up and we look back and wonder at our lives. I love these lines Rob “strayed through several shades of grey. But have I leveraged away my soul, just to play this fleeting game?” Oh yeah!
Thank you Christine.
Beautifully done, Rob. You leave us with some really challenging questions. Some say they want to live to be a hundred… I say, “Why?” I feel with you on the challenges of aging. It is no picnic!
Thank you Dwight. Like they say, “youth is wasted on the young”.
One of my all-time fave albums, Brother, and the Circle Game lyrics become truer with each (all-too-rapidly) passing year, don’t they?
Nice insertion of the prompt, Bro. Thanks.
You are most welcome brother. I keep draggin’ my feet, but the damned mandala just keeps spinning faster.
You’ve made it the perfect day to return to dVerse, Rob; you know what a massive Joni fan I am. Her voice will always reverberate in any cave I happen to find myself in, metaphorical or otherwise. I had a significant birthday last week, and I know how you feel.
Listening to the performance she did last month at the Newport Folk Festival had teardrops running down my cheek — and her brilliant, poignant, heartfelt delivery of “Both Sides Now” had me sobbing. It was the first time I truly heard the artist’s fully exposed heart regarding that very derp song — probably the first time I truly understood and appreciated that incredible song. Possessed of such depth of spirit, and written while still a young women. Joni has always been an wise old soul, and now she is a certified, sanctified goddess.
Very reflective and beautiful. I guess we all have those questions as we get older.
Thank you Nitin… 🙂
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🙂
Rob, these are the questions that haunt us all, I think. Your prosery is profoundly relatable, and I’m only 42-years-old!
I am glad it resonated for you David. Enjoy the painted ponies while you can, because the carousel keeps speeding up. 🙂
Rob, such a beautiful introspection, a philosophical delight, and then you become a muse to the reader with great questions that disturb and should.
Thank you Paul. I just had a friend who is dying call me to tell me his afraid to die, and ask me if I am. He has MS, is confined to a bed, unless lifted into an electric powered chair, and he has fought off cancer 3 times — he is a survivor like no-one else I know personally. Even with all his decades long struggle and suffering — he craves life, and is still filled with these questions. Did I do it right, did I waste it, how can I not have to ler go of it — and midst all of it… am I really satisfied and happy. The how where and why of it.
The image you chose, the words you gifted … hit a place deep inside this morning, Rob. Deep. To top things off, I just finished reading “The Red Address Book” this morning, which left me sobbing. Thank goodness our sun is shining, a breeze is blowing …..
I sm glad this resonated for you Helen… Thank god for Oregon! 🙂
As long as you have a past and a present, you can cope with the future. Like you contemplative style.
You are correct Jane, I have — and will as long as I can… 🙂