ripples
on an eternal river
they rise
and roll on
into the sunset
toward that forever
they carry my longing heart
on their crest
and catch the tears
tears of sadness
I cry at times
moments that I feel
run aground
since you went away
would that I had a boat
a special boat
to ferry me
across this ocean of time
over that horizon of death
ferry me this day
to you
to see your face
just one more time
to hear your beautiful voice
rise in sweet song
but all is not grief
there are also tears
of joyful reflection
when I think of you
our love is that river
that flows eternally
through all time
you live still
in vivid warmest memory
forever
locked in my heart
but one cannot touch
a memory
would that I could hold you
again this day
hold you close
and tell you son
tell you the 10,000 things
I said far too seldom
when you were still here
fiercely alive
in my life
but please
watch the river
my beautiful boy
look for my special boat
I am coming — soon
*
rob kistner © 2021
Poetry at: d’Verse
Poetry at: poets & stortellerd
Poignant and heartfelt! So sorry to know that you have had to walk this path of great loss. Yet you write with hope too…
Thank you Carol. I miss him still after all these years — but I have wonderful memories of my Aaron, those live on!
Thank you for sharing this very personal poem, Rob. It hit straight to my heart. I can’t imagine this terrible pain. I lost my mother as a child, but at least that is in the right order. You show incredible strength not to surrender to the darkness, and to realise:
‘our love is that river
that flows eternally
through all time’
Such a beautiful and moving image of your son waiting by the river. May you be reunited when the time is right.
Thank you Ingrid, very much! My mind, maybe the arrogance of intellect, tells me that it is only a turn of poetry to project that river — but my heart cries out for it to be true at times, especially the closer I get to my final journey. I never got to see Aaron go to college, which is where he was headed after the summer job he was working at the time of his tragic death. I never got to walk with him further into his manhood, nor celebrate his marriage — never got to know his children. He had plans for both. But this poem is the voice of my soul.
Oh, Rob. This is heartbreaking. I feel humbled to have read this… it feels like something of your soul.
Yours,
David
David, I have so much yo be thankful for, including Aaron’s younger brother Justin, who has given me a home here in the final twilight of my life. And a beautiful grandson, who carries Aaron in his middle name. I am grateful for my daughter, Jennifer — and my wife and larger family. But sometimes I miss Aaron so. It just feels painfully wrong, acutely at times.
Rob, I can feel your pain having myself lost a newborn son many years ago. The void just remains forever despite the presence of other equally loved kids. Sending you hugs.
Yes, and at times it just rears it’s sorrowful head and won’t be denied — but mostly it’s sweet memories!
A tug at the heart poem. It was good to hesr you read it
Much love…
Thank you G! It felt good to remember him. He has been on my mind as I am getting close to my final journey down river.
I am so glad you chose to read this last night: a tribute to the enduring power of love.
It felt so rich and warm to read this. It is so gratifying to bring Aaron from back of my mind, where he lives always — but sometimes it’s wonderful to fill my mind and my heart in the foreground with my boy, to celebrate his eternal reality, and our love!
Oh, this is so beautiful and so terribly sad.
<3
Yes,yes,Yar— and there is much joy remembering his life and all his talent and love! He was amazing in so many ways.
This is such a beautiful and moving poem. I am so deeply sorry for your loss, Rob. Sending love and prayers..
Thank you Sanaa!
To give so much of yourself .. to us .. is brave and incredibly generous.
I am old Helen, my poetry and experiences are to share at this stage of my life.
Beautiful, and one cannot help feeling it with you (at least to some extent, or imagining we do) while reading it.
Ah yes, touch is one of the things most keenly missed!
Thank you Rosemary. People can become ill from lack of physical touch.
You’ve bared your soul and we are touched by your beautiful words. I will mark the stanza of your special boat for safekeeping to read over and over again. Blessings, Rob, and when the time comes may your boat sail smoothly on.
Thank you Bev. Blessings to you my friend… 🙂
Beautifully bittersweet. Loss is a terrible thing, it never fully stops hurting, does it? Thank goodness for the hope of reunion… eventually.
Thank you Magaly.