Guido Vedovato — “Self-Portrait With Accordion”
What have I done dog
fool am I
what have I done
I have let our love song die
when the fire of love
flickers dims and dies
and a shadow falls
deep in darkened eyes
hollow words of love
become but empty lies
and dog, like a fool, I have lied
I watch as our love song died
that open door
of her tender heart
has swung quietly closed
round the fragile part
she has locked me out dog
turned her back
what once was sweet and effortless
can never again feel right
and the fall began so near unseen
as though but the passing of night
my heart is broken dog
my worthless heart
I remember this morning
no dawn broke
not tenderness nor warmth awoke
a loneliness encircled slow
I sought the one that I love so
but no — dog no
she has turned away
she is fed up dog
no longer does she hear my love song
at night she’s still
within arm’s reach
but I sense the void
I feel the breach
these nights
she still shares my bed
I roll and turn
then lift my head
I search her face
in the predawn glow
whose eyes those are
I no longer know
she sees me blankly dog
her stare is hollow
I feel such tears
I need to fight dog
can’t run away
I gotta stay
love’s slowly dying
night after night
I know we will never again
be right
like a piercing painful clarity
I feel it dog
I know
I know
last night she slept so quietly
but I fear her heart left long ago
*
rob kistner © 2021
Poetry at: The Sunday Muse
https://youtu.be/tYIYIVG64C4
I loved that song when I was a teenager. It was the flip side of “The Story In Your Eyes.” I was dealing with a lot at the time.
Such a sad poem, I hope it is only that, a poem, but it sure sounds like you’re living it. I like how you addressed all of it to that faithful confidant who never breathes a word–man’s best friend. For the price of a treat he will soothe the sore heart and stay close.
Thanks Shay! Love my dog, and love my Moodies! The poem is an amalgam of factual fiction, with a cutting ring of truth. 🙂
I sort of lived that life for a while, you nailed the situation. Lots of different notions during those days and nights.
Better days have come with a change, both sides, in partners. My second we celebrated 48 years now, 49 since we met. The other side took a while settling but that’s fine now also. We only meet or communicate at weddings and funerals.
A close dog does help big time.
..
Man’s, and woman’s best friend — no judgement, no demands, just pure love… just because. 🙂
Ah, the things we can confide to our dog. They never criticize, they just listen adoringly! I loved this one, Rob.
Glad you liked it Bev. A good fog is a friend forever. Edgrrr loved me, and I so him — but he has gone to doggy heaven. I have no idea how to replace him, and at the moment, no deserving successor has appeared — though I sure think Corgi pups are beautiful. Don’t know their temperaments though. Oh well, I still feel my Edgrrr’s warmth in my heart.
I can feel the loneliness in this poem. Nothing lonelier than lying beside someone who has emotionally checked out. I love that the narrator is addressing this to his dog.
Been there done that Sherry — though been a long time. Those memories were the inspiration. And my dog Edgrrr loved me, and always kept my secrets – though he went to doggy heaven not long ago. I am waiting for him to inspire me as to whom should be his successor.
Rob, this is so poignant. Honestly, I wrote something related to these feelings in the morning itself IST(Indian Standard Time) but while at work and saved the draft. Surprised to see your poem expressing the same emotions.. Loved the poem immensely.
Thank you Sunita! Our muses must know each other? 🙂
Rob, I got swept up in the story … hoping against hope it was pure fiction … the lover part / not the doggy part. Great write, incredibly creative! Woof.
All my stuff is partly fact snd partly fiction Helen. I have lived a crazy, chaotic, convoluted life, often way outside the box. Also I have a rich, still-functioning imagination. Great fodder for a writer-poet.
Sad lines that I can relate to. A beautiful and somber write that is even more lovely that it is spoken to a loving dog. I hope all is well with you these days my friend.
Thank you! Hanging in there, sentimentalizing like a true old man… 😉
Nothing wrong with being sentimental. ????
Just enjoy crying Carrie – can’t help it. Helps me feel my life that’s been, and my precious life that’s left… 🙂
Proof of the saying Man’s best friend his dog.
Nice one. Good Sunday
Much love…
Oh yes, they love for the purity of it. Thank you Gillena… 🙂
I don’t believe it for a second, but what an excellent poem.
It doesn’t require belief Pep, but very glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
Beautiful–the rhythm and the heartbreak and the dog’s steady attention. Love a poem that sends me right out to hug one of the dogs (although Merlin is less fond of his naps being disturbed).
Glad you like this Chrissa… 🙂 give Merlin a pat for me.
You paint a place all too sadly familiar, where love has become one-sided, and lives on a starvation diet of memories and hope.
Probably more people than we might realize live in just such a situation Hedgewitch. Perhaps remaining in a less than perfect relationship, as compared to no relationship — for one reason or another. Life is tough, so I don’t judge. I have been, maybe three-four times in my life, in relationships where mutual, passionate, “being in love” was at the core — for varying lengths of time. The intensity lessens over time, for the sake of sanity and sustainable, comfortable love. There is much to be said for being comfortable in a relationship after the fire dies down. In many, if not most relationships, that intensity lessens for one before the other. Each partner comes to love the other, in a different manner, or to a different degree — but it still works, because it is still chosen love and commitment. There may actually be more depth in that type of love because it is a sustainable love — because it is a chosen decidion. Most love, after the giddy passion dies, becomes a love of chosen compromise, or a love of acceptable surrender — or divorce. That said, there are still more relationships than one might imagine, where one partner, or both, actually have cooled to the other — yet they stay together, because it is more preferable than another option. Love is strange, but most of us, who are mentally healthy, need to be loved. It is sn aspect of our social humanity. Pets are a big component in that equation.
Those last two lines tie things up in a heart-wrenching bow. I’m not sure if there is any cure for that malady and I feel sorry for both sides of that equation 🙁
Unfortunately, it happens, and probably more than we realize Lisa. 😐