and visual prompt Mag 27 at Magpie Tales (see image at bottom),
also offered for prompt 129 at One Single Impression,
and for prompt 228 at Sunday Scribblings….
•
the grind became my home
and I a conduit of worry
could I keep the crazy pace
years spun wild as a top
around faster ever faster
life layering its patina
etched deeply in my face
suddenly no longer young
now looking back from 63
I’ve known triumph I’ve known tragedy
they’ve marked me both the same
I’ve borrowed bought and sold
strayed through several shades of grey
but have I leveraged my soul
just to play the fleeting game
I pray I will not be an old man
gazing lonely out my window
trying to remember
exactly how long it has rained
not sitting silent by the fire
lost in contemplation
wondering if all I lost
was worth what it was I gained
• • •
rob kistner © 2010
Mag 27
A lovely piece of writing, Rob.
I wonder how many of us get to the final curtain call without regret for certain parts of the lives we’ve lived. I think as long as we try to be the best we can be, then we can’t ask any more of ourselves. Whether we’re always successful is another matter entirely.
I enjoyed your poem, Rob, it made me think.
Thank you Paul, I am pleased this piece touched you — it came to me as a nearly complete piece, in a reasonably quick first draft… and put a lump in my throat when I revisited to read it prior to posting. I actually made just a few edits right now as I’ve been responding to these wonderful comments…
…rob
Everyone of us must at some point or another, confront this prayer, this listing and these same questions. I think a far better title would be: “Found on last page of final section in The Book of Common Prayer”. You’ve said it well,
Elizabeth
You are very gracious ElizaBeth — and I love the title you suggest…
…rob
Rob, this is a wonderful piece of writing,. I can identify with it strongly, as I am sure many can. I dont think you will ever be a lonely old man gazing out the window. You are too much alive and interested in the world around you for that.
Thank you Diane, but someday I will be truly old. So very much has happened to me, as it does to everyone — so many decisions made feeling so uncertain so often, and so much out of my control… I just don’t want to regret…
…rob
You have expressed in your Magpie the angst that results from years of ‘playing the game’ … ‘running the rat race.’ I imagine there are many in the world who would utter the same prayerful words. Beautifully written.
You are kind Helen — and it is such a rat race at times, and we’re just careening through it so often… I have bad dreams at times, worried over those I may have run over — for I never sought to be a cruel man…
…rob
I feel for all those who have literally leveraged their souls. Thought provoking piece, Rob.
This poem means a great deal to me, and I really appreciated your visual prompt of the aged conduit Willow, it delivered a very key stanza for me — I even found a way to work in the patina just a few moments ago, something I’ve been pondering since I first saw your image… thank you…
…rob
Rob, of the poems that I have read of yours, think this is my favorite. Why? Because it seems so gut-level honest and perhaps there is a lot of it I can identify with, though I don’t plan to be sitting and gazing out of windows for a long time to come. I have things to do, and I suspect you do too. And, in life, think you as well as I (and everyone) gained what we needed to!
What a wonderful compliment you pay me, I am humbled. This poem resonates very deeply for me Mary, it brings the verge of tears because it is gut-level honest. And as Mick and Keith so aptly put it, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you just might find — you get what you need!”
No window gazing for a long time, but when it does eventually come, I pray for more solace than sorrow…
…rob
I think you’ve experienced just about every aspect of life, and the gains and losses it brings. More than this, you’ve taken the time and trouble to share it with others… and so the journey continues.
I have lived, and will continue to live my life wanting so to protect those I love from the pain and sorrow I have endured, and teach them how to find the joy I have felt as well — only to ultimately realize that I cannot, not really… it is a strangely sweet melancholy this stirs in my soul, but I will always share — I know no other way to feel alive…
,,,rob
This is a truly wonderful written poem =D And i agreed with Diane, there is still so many wonderful things in this world that is awaiting you^^~
Thank you Riika — I look forward to the future, and will embrace it as it comes…
…rob
Dear Rob: The first picture from “Inception” must play a significant role in your poem “Old Man’s Prayer. I have not as yet viewed the movie but I hear it is about dreams. This man had dreams, some dreams lost, and again Robert Service “The road not taken”. We look back as our etched faces leave traces of a life lived. That is all we can ask; to just be, to be what we truly are, wrinkles are in the mix; they are unavoidable. (Hey I didnt say anyting about botox) Happy Birthday 60 Year Old Young Man! You are as old as you think you are; I’m 20! (yah, right!). 🙂
Well happy 20th Jane… 😉 …and I have actually made it to 63 — but who’s counting, and I am trying not to regret…
The top does play a big part in this poem. It represents the great balance I felt in life as a young man, and the centrifugal-like momentum that has propelled me through life; as well as the whirlwind that my life was and is. It also speaks to me that, though my time is winding down, I still have an upright strength to keep going on…
…rob
Young man: in the ten years that separate us, I have lived three different kinds of life, none of which I regret. The best is yet to come.
Seriously: a lovely poem.
Thank you Viv, and I hope you are correct, and that I do have much time left — I just have so many health problems, I wonder… and I don’t want to regret…
…rob
Beautiful poem. The act of writing it–you hear the rain, you live life.
Thank you Sandy — it was a reflection back to, anf forward from my beginning as a man…
…rob
On pursue of the trivial, we leave behind the bigger things.
I like this.
red sand
We can get off course in life at times Gautami — it requires the occasional quiet reflection…
…rob
The second-to-last stanza creates such a picture!
Yes, that stanza is highly visual and speaks very clearly to me as well — I am pleased it resonated for you Maureen, and thank you for your visits and your support… 😉
…rob
Profound poem! Speaks to so many, a truly vulnerable side of yourself Rob! I must say I loved it! They say the best pieces of writing and music are from the gut of experience! You are so gifted, I doubt you have time for loneliness! Excellent read, thank you!
Thank you Giggles, but we all have moments of loneliness or regret, can even happen when we’re with other people – we are human, and we miss those from whom we are separated, and we’ve all made mistakes… it is important to own these moments, and find the meaning and learn the lesson that they hold for us…
…rob
this is my favorite stanza:
“suddenly no longer young
now looking back from 63
I’ve known triumph I’ve known tragedy
they’ve marked me both the same”
This can have so many menaings but it tell me that when you get to an older age, all of it (life experiences) have the same effect. Growth.
Lovely poem.
Thank you for your kind words K — and yes, all of life, the good and the bad, make us who we are by contributing to our growth… everything is an enriching, learning experience — we simply need to look with our hearts open…
…rob
Rob, This is beautiful. You are so right, both tragedy and triumph transform us. Life asks that we open our hearts. I appreciate your words a great deal.
~Brenda
Thank you Brenda, I appreciate your positive reflections on this piece…
…rob
sorry, Rob. I was doing too many of those links this morning and you aren’t the only one who didn’t like my choice. I’m going to try it again now. Sorry!
No need to apologize Andrée, I was just having a bit of fun with you — you had a situation on your hands and you did well with it considering…
…rob
This speaks to all of us Rob. There is no way to get through this life without making choices and having some regrets. I guess the most we can hope for is that the final tally will show us in the green for joy. It seems to me you do 🙂
The best we can do is all we can do Dee, and hope we end on the positive side of the ledger…
…rob
Yay for all our experiences. The good and bad they are all just a part of our journey. Wrinkles and all. I personally wouldn’t mind staring out the window and dreaming when I get to my final years or today, nothing wrong with that when I get to that stage I reckon.
Linda, I just want to be smiling while I’m staring, and not from lunacy… 😉
…rob
Rob, this has been a great write.. I am delighted.. yes, looking back should not mean carrying unnecessary burdens.. so why to.. why not just be..simply be.. let rain stop when it wants to.. doesn’t matter.. loved it Rob..
Thank you Ramesh — the elusive skill to be here now… so liberating, but not easy…
…rob
I can never see that happening…it is really all about what we choose to be. I am an example of that…looking back from 68!
Be well.
b
http://www.itcrossedmymindblog.com/2010/08/view-from-my-iphone-camera.html
Bravo B, you are blessed indeed…
…rob
I want to add…the view is just fine from where I am sitting! 🙂
b
May it never be otherwise B… 😉
…rob
You use the top well here, Rob.
So very well written- I think that is the fear a lot of us have as we age and looking toward the coming years. Funny- the movie was the first thing I thought of when I saw your pic.
Thank you Tilly, it seemed to grab me in a very visceral way, propelling me to write…
…rob
Thank you Patti– I sensed the relative universality of what I was feeling as I wrote, it was very tangible…
…rob
got me spun out with this well crafted poem rob…thanks for sharing
Thank you Wayne…
…rob
Rob this is beautiful!
Pamela
Thank you Pamela…
…rob