Pitch Black

These are the essential elements of a dream, that first occurred to me shortly after my Pacemaker was implanted — the night I was recovering in the hospital. To the best I am able, with very limited embellishment for the sake of cohesion and also dramatic impact, I have attempted to accurately reassemble these core elements, to replicate this dream. I experienced essentially the same dream when I was deep into a 30-pill regimen of Paxlovid, while suffering a high fever from COVID last year.

 
K a-thump ka-thump ka-thump

an odd
steadily percussive sound
coming from overhead

over which
a mysterious voice
very hard to understand
is speaking
in a hoarse whisper

I determine
or perhaps I feel
the voice is telling me
to hurry

as the thumping
appears to trail off
into the distance
I find I am alone

wading carefully
against the current
of a beautiful stream

surrounded
by what seems to be
towering
shadowy monoliths

something very massive
the feel is very ancient

I think this is…
yes —

I am trekking
in this small river
deep
in an old growth
redwood forest

I hear the splashing of water
feeling its weight
against my shins
as I slosh through it

upstream
against the brisk flow

a stir and rustle
surrounds me

I’ve the sense
I may be in mountains

I am moving slowly
against this strong current

there is a chill
but comfortable breeze
that buffets my face

shining down
through the forest canopy
there appears to be
dual suns

as I push forward
my surroundings
begin to change

a strange landscape
is gradually
morphing into being

slowly becoming
an alien environment

vivid
startling
yet fascinating

suddenly
intense
penetrating
screeching

sounding like
fingernails
scraping
and clawing at
a chalkboard

or even more like
the insane shrieking
of wild banshees

my skin crawls
my spine shivers

I feel I am flailing
helplessly falling

yet I find myself
still trudging
through the stream

surrounded now
by the scattered crackle
of fractured shards

appearing to be
flaming glass

maybe a whirl
of searing embers

it’s then I realize
lurching blooms of rolling fire
are leaping tree to tree
above my head

rushing on
as if wind-driven

a churning growl
like a relentless roar
circling and circling
in a doppler’d pulse
pressing down through the trees

a foreboding settles upon me
as growing darkness
begins to envelope me

odd shadows
like disturbing specters
come unannounced

eerie iridescent lights
begin dancing around me
as the disembodied voice
begins keening

“you do not belong
you do not belong”

its then I see
a translucent black orb
its skin alive
like a membrane of lightning

its very core
absolute solid black
like the total absence
of all existence

coming at me
upstream
from behind

panic grips me
and I try to run
but paralyzed by terror
I cannot

an ominous fog
settles round me
like a shroud

then
I am in complete darkness
absolute pitch black

the bizarre orb is coming
coming much too quickly

terrified
paralyzed by a fear
that is physically painful
I am frozen

I cannot run

the rapidly approaching sphere
begins to emit
shrill blasts
of a deafening
whining noise

it’s getting closer and closer
louder and louder
until I black out…

*

here the dream ends
as I awaken
shaken

***
rob kistner © 2023

More poetry at: dVerse

 

18 thoughts on “Pitch Black”

  1. Reading all these dream poems, I don’t feel so alone with my own dreams. Are we the norm or are we special dreamers? I don’t often dream about forests and streams, or even alien environments, and would love to, but my nightmares usually take place inside rooms and buildings.

  2. Very intense, Rob. I have had an NDE once, but only heard a voice coming from the darkness. This is on a whole other level. Are dreams really just dreams, or are they something more? What you describe in this poem is what I would imagine a higher dimension looked like.

    1. I seldom recall dreams, but the first time this dream occurred, I was still under some influence of the anesthetic in the recovery room following a Pacemaker insertion. I believe the combined traumas of my heart stopping, while I was already in the hospital, recovering from a double angioplasty the day before, then having to be revived, and then the emergency Pacemaker implantation — had my mind already in a strange place. The dream was so vivid, I think the fever dreams, while I was suffering from COVID a couple months later, probably primed my subconscious mind to replay the dream. At least that is my theory. What I don’t know is if any of the images in the dream, had anything to do with the trip out and back into my body? Who knows?

  3. This is excellent… the physical aspect of nightmares that feels like torture is something I feel is coming when I have fever.

  4. My goodness! This is incredibly dark and powerful writing, Rob! There is a whirlwind of emotion here that resonates .. anxiety, apprehension, fear, doubt and conviction waltzing as the Poet finally blacks out. I felt every word!

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