Pondering

The big 4: who am I, why am I, where am I — really? Where am I going?
Or in-fact — is this all there is?


photo by: G-Crew

 

Here
I see a glass reflected
in a puddle
on the ground

it appears
it is right here
and at the same time
down there
underneath

but

is that glass here
with me
or is it in the other
a mirrored reality
where I cannot be

or too
am I also in the other
is there another
who is also
me

down there
or elsewhere
seeing what I see
inverted

in a place
to which I cannot go
but only catch a glimpse
caught in a reflection

but if there is another me
which can I
authentic be

I feel my mind wander
wondering about this
about this entity
that I call
me

when another
tells you of yourself
you’re shown the dance they see
your outward choreography

but they tell you naught
of the music
that rings true
in your mind
in your soul

that leads and drives
your steps

to this inward dance
they’re blind

in their eyes
you are shown your reflection

they see not the light
that shines inside
that illuminates your soul

are we the I that we know
the self that we so treasure
or are we in fact the other
the one the others measure

for if the valid I
be the one
that is most outwardly known
then we are in fact that I
the one to ourselves not shown

for surely when compared
the majority story shared
is of the outward other
the one seen by the others

and so we live our life
cloistered in our other
the one that is
our own
and live this life alone
even when by many known
for the I
that’s outward shown
is the I
that’s not our own

but it is the I
that impacts
all those we’ve known

think on this
let your mind be blown
above it all
let your love be grown


image by René Magritte

hmmm…

I wonder so
about reflections
introspections
contradictions

about puddles
mirrors
shiny windows

…and even chrome

what is it in these
that I see

a door
to even more

perhaps a window too
to another me
to another you
in another home
where we also live
another life
both unaware

are we there
alone

…or has this been
all there is

if it is so
let us sing!

*
rob kistner © 2022

Poetry at: The Sunday Muse

 

~ music for the mind & soul ~



28 thoughts on “Pondering”

  1. Rob consider my mind officially blown. I’ve heard that every bit of it is a hologram. Our guesses are as good as any other and vice versa. As long as my senses are working (even if a little diminished) and I can still feel, the rest is insignificant to me.

    1. Reality is many things Lisa, to many people. But I agree, if personal senses and perception are working, there is certainly the core components of constructing an essence of functional reality in place. What is not known is, how truly similar are individual perceptions, perhaps even personal experiences of senses. Which then opens the question, is there such a thing as singular human reality. Simply considering all the “isms” in the world, I feel the best we can do is consider reality a fluid concept, with many existing simultaneously. The final question remains, what, if any, is the relationship between reality and truth — the thing we say we are all seeking. There are likely concrete actualisms we all share, which enable us to attempt coexistence. But I think we all see reality differently, sometimes very differently. I pretend no answers to any of this, just hold it as interesting food for thought.

    1. I believe it keeps one alive Hank. To loose the sense of genuine wonder, is the death of the mind. The mind is vital when it is willing to wander and wonder — otherwise, it is wilting and dying. The mind thrives when it’s alive with thinking. It becomes brittle and unpliant when it “knows”. It freezes in that position of knowing, and all possibilities dry and die. What a miserable trapped way to live. No movement — no progress. You can be of healthy mind embracing probability, and you can enjoy successes — but don’t rob yourself of the joy of discovery. And discovery is not the end of the journey, it is just s milepost along the path. So party and celebrate — but never get bogged down there. IMHO my friend! 🙂

    1. I am pleased David. This is the type of thinking that both fascinates and stimulates me. Time is likely eternal, and the universe(s) are unfathomable — so possibilities would seem to be endless, and changing moment to moment. I love to five into the stream of awareness and seim towards the ocean of the inconceivable — to wonder and marvel. What an amazing, magical journey it all is, if we do not let ourselves be closed down by insecurity. It is fine that we do not know that which we do not know — and that we know very little. Open to the evolution of true learning and the ever changing possibilities, realizing that we will never achieve full understanding — keeps one humble, loving, and fascinated, and in turn, fascinating. Just my humble opinion David, my wise friend! 🙂

  2. This may be the most philosophical piece of poetry I’ve read! I love poets who make me think, question, answer. Cheers and Kudos.

    1. I love to delve into the philosophical Helen. This is how my son Justin and I talk frequently. Love the spiritual and mystical, provided it is not religion based. You start to take me down some specific religious path — and I am out of here! Religion is slammed-shut close mindedness, Rumi’s ecstatic style is very appealing. I am drawn to opened minded free thinking, not the restrictive, preconceived, parameters. Aliens, god, magic, science, multiverse, etc. — it is all appealing, because it is all possible in my mind. No one knows these answers absolute, and I love to embrace the questions like an adventure. And like an adventure, I have traveled down many paths of thought. I love it!! 🙂

  3. I would take this to a philosophy lecture immediately… as an opening of the educational year.
    It remembers me of the long evenings with a friend. He, sitting on the bed. I, on the floor against his knees. The guitar, just creating random melodies.
    Reflecting on many issues. This one, agreeing we ‘see’ with the soul, not with the eyes. And we connect far further than what we consider to be ‘me’.

    1. Way back in the 1960’s, when I was in college Syl, I loved getting deeply philosophical, as well as transcendentally metaphysical. We’d delve for hours, getting deeper and deeper into it. I co-wrote numerous deeply meta-phyl songs, during my nearly 3 decades in rock and R&B bands. My three favorites were “Forest Of The Mind”, “Journey Beyond The Beyond”, and “The Moment Before The First”! My favorite mindblower was trying to grasp the essence of eternity, the infinite, as in time and space. It was like tripping the deeper we would go. Loved it! My son became my transcendental chat mate when he was in high school, then college, at the end of the last millennium. He still engages with me occasionally, now that I live one floor below him, his wife, and my grandson. Running his tech company, he doesn’t have a great deal of time to engage in chats with me now, and my mind isn’t quite as quick — but we both still enjoy the hell out of it.

    1. It is so damned hard Ingrid, not to be trapped in, and defined by, the “I” that can be erroneously interpreted by another. If the interpretation proved to be, or worse, was falsely intended to be damaging — it can impact one’s life dramatically. All one can do is protect the precious “I”, and project your “self” into life genuinely from that precious place. If you embrace the “dancing clown” persona, to make others happy, you will lose your “self”. It is not easy, because in weakness or loneliness, we opt to want to be accepted, rather than to be understood. We humans tend to insecurity. Takes years to learn to be authentic, no matter the perceived cost. To love and be loved, only the authentic, has any worth. Honesty, presented with unnecessary unkindness, is a no no — and generally undermines being understood. May work in bring feared, but seldom understood.

  4. I resonate with these thoughts, Rob, as I often feel the outward one that others see – particularly family – is not who I am at all. I think other poets know us better because they read the writings from our soul. A poem of deep ponderings with which I relate.

    1. Sherry, it seems, those who have known us in a close family relationship, are prone to tabulate, not only your positive, but also your negative projections. Because of the intimate nature of the relationship, they look at the sum total of these tabulations, and for them, you “are” this bottom line. If there is the space of love and honesty, on both parties, this net sum may be close to your authentic self. But if over the years, either party, for whatever reason, has withheld love or honesty — their sum total perception of you stands little chance of being accurate — but the responsibility to be loving and honest, lies with both parties. All that said, close caring family likely know you pretty well, if you have created an authentic circle of relationship — even if it is uncomfortable at times. Easier to fool those outside the circle, in pursuit of acceptance. But seldom can nurturing love be found outside the circle of authenticity. Just some thoughts, delivered IMHO. 🙂

  5. I really enjoyed your ponderings and agreed with all you said until you said others can’t see the light in one’s own soul. Perhaps not but they can certainly see the reflection in the creative outpourings, the attitudes to others and the way we move through the world. Sometimes too I think you can see the light of another’s soul shining in their eyes.

    1. I do not feel most other people truly know what goes on in the depths of the thoughts and intentions of another’s being. We can assume, from outwardly displayed evidence, but because of moods, pain, insecurity, uncertainty, and the like — those outward signals can and do get skewed, masking the inward essence, with misleading outward signals. The longer one knows another, you have a larger sample of evidence by which to assume — but I truly believe, in any moment, it still can at best be a studied assumption. We, as frail insecure humans, don’t reveal everything, even to those we attempt to love. We struggle to fully understand ourselves. And the idea of a soul I know remains on the table, but as wonderful an idea that it is, there is no definitive proof regarding if or what it might be. I believe we definitely develop a soul or spirit over time, which influences how we are in the world. But is is that a separate, concrete thing? I believe it is amorphous, continually evolving as our life experience grows. It is dependent for it’s evolution and life on the experiences of the individual nurturing it. It is therefore, ever changing, so not a definitive indicator of an individual, able to be read through the eyes. IMHO Suzanne. Fascinating to discuss and surmise though. Thank you for the interchange.

  6. I find that my philosophical meanderings have blocked my ability to hear the wild languages, but I get caught up exactly as you say. I could so easily be a Narcissus–but being over 70 years old lessens the need to go there. I am relieved to see nature also reflects on itself. I’m sure cats look for themselves in their water bowls and ponds. Thank you for this poem, and its form that sets up a structural reflection that parallels its meaning.

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