Tuesday’s dVerse prompt, my grandson’s approaching birthday, my father who died this time of year, my precarious health, the beauty of where I live, the blessings of my life — these all put me deep in reflection the past couple days. This haibun bubbled up from all that, so I want to share it here on dVerse OLN.
Oregon Coast
For 43 years I tried to find a place where I felt I belonged, where I could feel my heart and soul open, where I could draw close to the ones I love and truly feel that love fully unfold, with my new wife, and for my children. Where I could find peace of mind, and leave ugly, hurtful memories behind me.
I found that in Oregon, the Pacific Northwest, in 1990. Quite unexpectedly, I also found the spirit of the man who adopted me from the orphanage, gave me his name, and was my rock during a traumatic childhood. This world, that is the Pacific Northwest, is alive with the same wilderness energy he introduced me to in Canada — to experience, understand, and come to love. That world, which we explored together every summer, until his death in 1983.
I hadn’t understood how much I missed his presence, until I arrived here and felt it so vividly, all around me, this same energy that he loved. Wild lakes and rivers to fish, beautiful forests to hike, majestic mountains — clean open sky over pure pristine land! And I found something he would have loved — the incredible Oregon Pacific Ocean coast. This is more than just a place to me, and he was more than just my father. They both were my sanctuary!
I found my father’s spirit
I found paradise
Clackamas River, Oregon Cascade Mountains
rob kistner © 2019
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A lovely connection in your life Rob, to the man who loved you and to the land you found.
My survival Linda!
Thank you for sharing some of your life with us, Rob. What a lovely tribute to your father!
You’re welcome Kim. He was my savior and guiding light!
I’m so glad you found your happy place, Rob. As always, your words transport me.
By the way, did you ever read “Iron Horse”?
Thank you Beverly, I am glad you enjoyed it. Yes I did read “River-Horse: The Logbook of a Boat Across America”, and I really enjoyed it. William Heat-Moon is a fascinating character, and what a brave and exciting adventure! Thank you for directing me to it.
The synchronicities and parallels continue between us. This haibun is so touching. I’m so grateful that you and I have reconnected in the last year.
Thank you Glenn. We can thank Tess Kincaid for connecting us, unless you were also part of Dana Guthrie Martin’s “Read Write Poem” group. My memory has shadows from back that far. 🙂
What an incredible haibun. You share your sense of safety and sanctuary in both the coast and your father. The minipoem at the end says it all. I felt the same way about both my parents. What beautiful pictures of the coast. I can see why you would love it so intensely. Beautiful. Simply beautiful and heartwrenching.
Thank you Toni, I am pleased this resonated for you. I have had some wonderful good fortune in my life… the yin and yang of it all!
So soul-stirring, Rob. I can tell you feel his loss, but I can also tell that you feel fortunate to have had him in your life. What a beautiful part of the world. I’m so glad that you found it, and that you’ve shared it with us.
He was absolutely my North Star through an extremely stormy childhood Merril. Yes, I miss him, and wish everyday I could have shared this part of the world with him — he would have loved it like
I do.
It must have been a real wrench for you to leave this place after having looked for it for so long. I hope your new life is as happy.
Yes, it was hard to leave Jane, but I have three decades worth of rich, marvelous memories. And I am now exactly where I want to be!
What a profound and spiritual experience Rob. It’s so lovely he showed you these wild places and perhaps, in some way, he guided you to this place where you’ve found your sanctuary too.
I have tried my best Xenia, to pass the spirit of my father forward to my children, and now my grandson.
That’s beautiful. Your connection. The world around. Thank you for sharing.
It’s the bright part of my soul Keneda.
Beautiful, Rob! A touching tribute!
Thank you Frank! 🙂
Rob the photos are surreally beautiful. The scenes of places unsullied by humans. I can see where you’d feel sanctuary there. Angels can walk the earth and the man who adopted you sounds like he may have been one or if not darn close. My dad was the one who taught us kids a love of nature and it was his sanctuary also. Passing this on to your kids and Alex keeps the flame burning.
We are lucky Lisa. A good father is such a blessing, and not all are good. I was lucky to be invited into the life, love, and protection of, perhaps an angel, certainly a saint. I have tried to honor him in how I conduct myself as a father.
I grew up in the polluted, smoggy, crowded Midwest. I knew of the beauty of Canadian wilderness thanks to my father. But the amazing natural wonders of Oregon blew my mind. We first drove into Portland through the Columbia River gorge, which was breathtaking. Then we discovered the Cascade Mountains, with Lost Lake, the little high mountain eden where my ashes will be scattered. Then we explored the high desert, then the Painted Hills, the John Day fossil beds, Crater Lake, and the Rogue River Canyon. We also spent a week exploring up the 363 miles of unbelievably beautiful Oregon Pacific Ocean coast, from the Giant Redwoods on the southern end, to the mouth of the Columbia River at Astoria. My mind was melted completely after that week! Impossible to describe it. And all of this in Oregon, and so much more natural beauty, like the pure Metolius River that bubbles up out of the earth in the high desert by Sisters Oregon, and flows for 27 miles into Lake Chinook. The Metolius Basin contains 42 mountain lakes in total. One of my favorite natural attributes of Oregon are its 238 waterfalls, topped by the 620’ tall Multnomah Falls. I will truly always love Oregon. Took me 43 years to find it, but my 30 years here have been wondrous.
Sounds like paradise, Rob!
It is Lisa. If you have never been, I highly recommend it. Take a camera and make it a week for the entire coast. You will never forget it!
That paradise is a beautiful sanctuary.
Yes it is Frank! 🙂
Lovely tribute to a man who had an immense influence on your life. Well written.
Thank you Arcadia.
Gorgeous photos and a heartfelt haibun. I really enjoyed this. I’m from the PNW, too 🙂 – Jen
I am glad you did Jennifer. You know personally the beauty of this wonderful part of the world. I came from a region in this country that was no where near as beautiful, so I really appreciate where I live now. I am still amazed by the PacNW!
Beautiful tribute to the man and the place. Your photos are amazing and gives us a glimpse of the the sanctuary you call home.
Thank you Grace. I will live out my life here, in genuine gratitude to my wife Kathy, who ultimately was the catalyst to get us to move here into this realm of natural splendor.
There is nothing in the world like the magic of the Oregon coast. We travel from Canada to spend precious moments there. I’m glad you found it. Beautiful connections in your poem. Thank you for sharing.
You are most welcome HH. Many magical moments spent there. It a 175 mile longer trip now from Seattle, making it an overnight stay, instead of an over and back day trip — but as you do astutely acknowledged, it’s one of the most beautiful places, certainly in North America.
Beautiful Rob. The Oregon coast photos are breathtaking!!
Thank you Dwight. It is a special place on the planet.
What a beautiful tribute to the souls of those you love…both man and land.
Thank you Kerfe!
This is very nice, Rob. I like that you could find that personal connection.
Thank you RW!
you’re blessed, sounds like ~
🙂
Deeply moving recognition of your father, Rob. I have read all the poems you posted after this one and felt the intensity that’s been a part of your reflections recently. I find that loss stirs up some of the deepest reflections as a part of the bereavement process. Thank you.
You are welcome, and thank you Victoria.
Catching up on my reading, Rob. And I am so glad…this is just a beautiful write. I’ve been to this area and, when out in the midst of nature and away from the highways, it is truly a feast for the mind and spirit. And I do understand how a place like this….and a person….can be a sanctuary. You’ve expressed it well.
Love my home region Lillian, thank you for your kind words!