stirring in the branches
do you hear the leaves rustle
do you hear my breath
whispering your name
do you hear my heart beat
do you hear my tears fall
or is it silent
silent as the light-less realm
that hauntingly engulfs my soul
silent as that night
when apples spilled
on the broken stair
where rail eluded
your grasping hand
silent as your futile cry
when no voice came
to grace your lips
tender lips
that parted gently
to hold my kiss
lips
that will not know again
sweet fruit
nor love
rob kistner © 2011
* linked 2011 at Magpie Tales
Those initial 7 lines, because they are questions, seem insistent, and then “or is it silent” stops the movement, before picking up again with a shift in the cadence that carries us more slowly to the image of the rail eluded and the final silence. Lovely!
this was so sad..x
ugh.. a punch to the chest…i felt the longing and love…and the flame extinguished…very nicely penned rob
The end sort of snuck up on me: from a vague sense of nothingness, to an intense sense of loss. Well done. My Magpie this week is A Plot Both Great and Grand.
This packs quite a punch … well done, Sir.
beautiful lines
Sweetly sad, this loss of love. Beautifully written.
Oh wow, Rob… can I say you made a tragedy beautiful? This is vivid and intense… I love it.
silent as that night
when apples spilled
on the broken stair
where rail eluded
your grasping hand
…great lines above
Hi Rob,
lovely work. Happy to have found you through dverse. I love autumn and this piece brings her into my room. It is November and 72 degrees here in Tennessee. Thanks for letting in some cool fall weather.
Line 6 I think you may have meant “heart” instead of heat?
ps… would you be interested in doing a guest post for me? i would love you to do a reading of one of my pieces and in return I would share one of yours with my readers as well.
email if interested. 🙂
thanks,
Kellie
Oh, wow – how heartbreaking. Amazing poem. Thanks for sharing.
the love, the longing, the sadness can be felt….my fav lines…
silent as that night
when apples spilled
on the broken stair
where rail eluded
your grasping hand
the last lines are tormenting.
damn good write.
bless you.
Really went for the punch to the gut with the last lines, great verse!
passionate words.
This is a stellar write…so evocative…the apples…the broken stair…it embraces the season with darkness and longing…
I really enjoyed the piece. For me it is really two poems in one. A beautiful ode followed up by a beautifully sad lament. Each their own prominence and the transition from the first to the last was done so well. Thanks for composing this.
The apple wasn’t so sweet afterall. The ending surprised me!
Haunting in word and imagery.
Oh I could feel all that pain and suffering… liked it very much.. almost voiced the whole thought from the beginning to the end… in my heart. Good one…
Shashi
ॠनमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/11/whispers-tears-in-rain.html
so beautifully penned … the sadness is almost like a jolt … loved reading.
A lovely response to that evocative prompt, Rob. Lyrical and gently sad…xxxj
Must say I concur with Claudia, that stanza is fabulous; actually, I loved the whole flow of this, it sings what the photo could not ~
Oh, the bit about the apples and the broken stairs. That was the part that drew me in and then I had to start over again.
Lovely poem.
I am drawn to this section:
“silent as that night
when apples spilled
on the broken stair
where rail eluded
your grasping hand”
And the way you close the poem with the fruit reference. Nice framing.
Sometimes life gives us applesauce, I guess!
I liked the “do you hear” refrains at the start, especially.
Forgive me, please, if I would tinker with the ending this way:
lips
that will not know again
love
nor sweet fruit
Enjoyed the read, either way!
Thank you Charles for your kind words regarding this piece…
This poem evolved and been pared down over a period of 2 years, and multiple edits, to be where it is today. I considered the ending in-depth, going through a multitude of iterations, I chose to end with love because I wanted the end to be a knock out punch. I do not believe in any form of afterlife — so death denying one the taste of sweet fruit is a terrible thing. But that death denies forever, the taste of love on one’s lips, is, for me, considerably more devastating — so I built the ending to “Silent” to be first a jab, then a KO uppercut…
Beautiful poetry here. Too many favorite lines to choose from. 🙂
A tender piece with an ending which completely caught me unawares. I’ve not been here for a while — this piece has reminded me what I’ve been missing!
Keith – what kind words my friend, thank you, I am humbled…
Howdy Rob…..another lovely poem here…thanks for this
Oh Rob this is so beautiful. Thank you.
Anna :o]
Drawing us in with those questions and then the payoff of sadness over death. Really enjoyed this, Rob.
Unanswered questions became heartbreaking in this.
It is the left unsaid, the left unanswered that hurts the most Chrissa.
Ah yes, ‘autumnal’ can carry that suggestion of melancholy, loss, ending…. This is wrenchingly beautiful, Rob.
I am in a blue rainy day autumn mood. I came across this in my archives searching autumn related pieces I’ve written over the years. It fit my mood so I shared it. Misery loves company you know Rosemary.
It is tough that with loss … one life continues on and the other becomes silent, a memory – but yet, love continues … to me that is proof life in someway does as well…
Life’s energy can never be destroyed Margaret. 🙂