The SunsetGunn is loaded, the controls, in GunnMaster’s grip
calmly concentrating, he scans the horizon with careful eyes
the golden sun having made his journey, is weary from the trip
quicksilver moon will very soon, traverse the starry skies
Gaia rolls on gently, hushed in quiet space
GunnMaster has her skyline, locked squarely in his sight
Gaia pulls a veil of stars, slowly across her face
GunnMaster has a task, he needs complete before its night
he’s to set the sky ablaze, before he falls to sleep
a fiery coral-orange, twilight-blue, and crimson-red
in patterns broad and bold, in colors rich and deep
he carefully aims the SunsetGunn, and blasts it overhead
in a brilliant, blinding flash, he sets the dimming skies a’fire
in vivid hues, and lavish shades — the dusky sky ignites and burns
GunnMaster has succeeded, so for this night, he can retire
the SunriseGunn already loaded, in early morning, he returns
*
rob kistner © 2023
Poetry at: dVerse
A few more from Animal Logic — GOOD SHIT!
“he must set the sky ablaze, before he goes to sleep”
Ah yes indeed. Nice one
Much????love
Thank you Gillens… 🙂
Wonderful writing, Rob! You painted a very vivid scene.
I love ‘gaia pulls a veil of stars slowly across her face’!
Thank you Punam… 🙂
You’re more confident than I am, Rob. I was worried that, if I borrowed lines from one of my own poems, I might just replicate the original poem. Lots of lovely imagery and colour in this one, in particular:
‘the great golden sunorb has wearied from its trip
but quicksilver moon has set upon a hurried course’
and
‘he must set the sky ablaze, before he goes to sleep
rich fired flames — of coral-orange, and crimson-red
the pattern needs be broad and bold, color must be deep’.
Thank you Kim… 🙂 I have mined my older work for interesting lines and phrases for years, I simply do my best to let them spark new ideas. I generally then put the mined material aside until later to prevent cross-pollination. In this case, because I completely changed the poem’s form to comply with the prompt, it drove it in a fresh direction by default.
Great personification here, Rob. And I agree with Kim – very brave to take one of your own poems. I have to say, I would struggle to find a rhyming poem of mine to use…
I have always wanted to mine this piece a little further Sarah… 🙂
brilliant both literally and how you re-worked your original into this vivid evocation of sunset-gunn
“the great golden sunorb has wearied from its trip” – most memorable line and one I shall always remember at sunset
Thank you Laura, you are most kind, I appreciate your words my friend… 🙂
Evocative images Rob.
Thank you Kerfe… 🙂
This is gorgeous! I especially love; “he’s to set the sky ablaze, before he falls to sleep/a fiery coral-orange, twilight-blue, and crimson-red.” 🙂
You are kind Sanaa… 🙂
A creative idea and the image you found of it is very capable.
Thank you Lisa… 🙂