The Dark Battle

Depression has been a challenge most of my adult life.

 

The Dark Battle

~

I sometimes get very dark, my emotions get brittle. Sometimes the great bones of my life feel so heavy that anger at life swells. Try as I might to fight it, this darkness still surfaces, my inner light goes out. But I continue facing it down when I feel its chilled grip.

That is what life is, keeping the good fight, finding the balance, because life is all about balance. The keeping of it, and the regaining of it when it’s lost. And it does get lost at times, very lost

But waging the battle’s an opportunity to confront the profound, and the mysterious. The great mystery we are not meant to solve, but rather to ponder with grace and wonder, in the embrace of love. For love is the gateway to the great mystery. And it is love that will light the darkness.

~ ~ ~

rob kistner © 2021

 

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34 thoughts on “The Dark Battle”

  1. Damn rights, brother. Love is the primary common denominator for everyone and everything. You write with such a realistic ferocity, I hope this is fiction. If not, then kudos for accomplishing so much with your life.

    1. I don’t let it rule me, but it is always with me or right at the edge ov my life circle. But I have a sense of humor, and find great majesty and wonder in the natural world. I actually use it sometimes to drive my writing. I still enjoy life, just times I need to step away. I just took it upon myself to cut my daily Wellbutrin XL dosage in half about 2 months ago. Been interesting?

  2. Rob, There is great mystery in the darkness as I’ve found myself, and it’s here that Love reaches for us to release us into something greater than ourselves. It is profound. And filled with hope for the future.
    Grace and peace,
    Dora

  3. I’ve been here many times and no doubt will again. Thank you for talking about your experience with depression. For me, sunlight helps the most. I hope you get to feeling better soon!

  4. We all get those dark moments, Rob, some more than others. Without them we wouldn’t appreciate the light. And you are so right about waging the battle being an opportunity to confront the profound and mysterious.

    1. Those who never know the depth of the darkness Kim, don’t really fully understand the magnificence of the light. Nor the power gained from battling it down. They have stunted insight.

  5. Your light is ever so much stronger than the dark, Rob, evidenced by your artistic abilities to create beauty, and your wonderful connection with nature. The light will always win! Blessings.

  6. The depth of darkness can be blinding. And the light at the proverbial end of the tunnel can sometimes seem so small and dim. I love your affirmation of life’s vale in the end. Know that many care for you and seek to here your voice in this place.

    1. Thank you Lillian. I look forward to connecting with this community, and will continue to fo so as long as I remain able. Just been getting the blues lately more than usual. I blame it on the creeping arthritis in my fingers. Makes writing difficult, even typing. I want to read and comment to everybody on every topic. Between my failing eyesight and arthritis, it gets more and more difficult — makes me frustrated and depressed. But onward we sail!

  7. Rob, oh do I feel that darkness lately and very difficult to shake it. I like how you point out being aware of feeling that way and actively working to balance it. It’s what I do usually but layer upon layer of oppressing/depressing/repressing events are starting to wear me down. dVerse is a shining spot to feel heard and cared about to help offset the darkness. Hoping you get to a place where you can feel the warmth of the light <3 <3 <3

  8. I’ve seen darkness, yet somehow kept it from pulling me under. It can’t be wished away, so even those times were overwhelming. I sympathize with anyone who does fall under this weight.

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