Although here in my Seattle home, I am only 200 miles away from my Oregon, the fact that health has prevented me from returning for a number of years, and makes it impossible for me to ever again trek the breathtaking wilderness of that region, that lives so vividly in my memories — it feels that it might as well be on the other side of the country, in a beautiful, unreachable dreamscape. This envisioning I’ve written here of my return is presented from that perspective. It is likely also sparked, in no small way, by a subconscious wish that I could return to the robust health I enjoyed most of the 25 years I lived and explored in Oregon, discovering and falling in love with its precious beauty.
”It is not down in any map; true places never are.” — Herman Melville
Across the chasm of time
and great distance
memories unfold
vividly rich
like elaborate origami sculptures
as the paper of this odd map
unfolds bewilderingly before me
even ‘cross this flat
boring land spread
I see in my mind’s eye
soaring ramparts
of sky-piercing mountains
forested tier upon tier
with enormous sitka spruce
scattered brewers
known as the weeping spruce
the most beautiful of the conifer
whose branches in summer
display sunlight
as a jeweler’s velvet
showcases gems
the whispers
of wind-stirred
lawson cypress
towering ponderosa pine
and douglas fir
waft down emerald climbs
tangerine-scented white fir
a fragrance rivaled only
by the rough-tufted red cedar
the dogwood’s brilliant leaves
big-leaf maples
pendulous western maples
tight ranks of dark-green sadler oak
the golden shimmer
and crisp crackle
of white-barked aspen
these live and breath
boldly in my heart
calling me forward
this morning’s sun comes crisp and bright
enfolding my waking in warmth
and vivid presence
the world fresh and fascinating
I embark toward noonday
the joy of homecoming palpable
senses saturated and alive
blissfully consumed
by a deep satisfaction
that permeates this afternoon
my soul is full
my mind is clear
my heart — overflowing
as dusk descends upon this place
painting its heady grace and expectation
my pace is smooth and steady
the downing sun — a gentle gold embrace
early shadows fall soft across my face
as vesper’s velvet blanket
drapes its comfort ’round my shoulders
splendid calm envelops me
yet there are other shadows
strange distractions
that disrupt my moments
they come unannounced
almost imperceptible
but I follow close
without fear
the way blazened in my mind
and there is still far to go
I am eager to journey
drawn by the beauty
that is the rising moon in sunset
facing into the evening breeze
I venture onward
rolling amber and coral
spreads across the horizon
again the shadows shift
dull confusion finds me
I lose my pace and focus
but I do not heed
this temporary distraction
nor the suggestions of this creased parchment
unfurled before me
for it is not what will lead me home
I do not let it sway or stray me
for my heart knows the way
yet
nagging concern
disquiets me
a stab of panic
pierces my solace
have I been gone too long
will it feel the same
unwelcome bewilderment
grips me
holds me
uncomfortable in my skin
a cloud of frustration
sweeps over me
obscuring briefly
my purpose and destination
then the fog wafts
and again I envision
across the veiled valley
of time
my hearth and home
twilight is coming
much too quickly
and my concern
at first a nuisance — mounts
a gathering feeling
gnaws inside
fear I will not make it home
before this sunset
I am afraid
to lose this evening light
that leads my way
but my way
is not on this map
not on any map
it lives in my heart
and in my soul
this calms the disturbance
of my reverie
quiets my mind
brings my fear to settle
as the ease of remembered beauty
and warmth of home
swell my soul
ahead are the mountains
and forests of my Oregon home
where I finally return
to reclaim my heart
this day
now I have
such sweet recall
pulling me forward
urgently
even in the faded light
of many distant memories
these visions have held me breathless
soon I will gaze upon them again
I redouble my pace
*
rob kistner © 2022
revision of draft © 2011
Poetry at: The Sunday Muse
Poetry at: Earthweal
Little jazz tune from Sanborn entitled “Comin’ Home”… plus a little Keith magic!
https://youtu.be/k84QxVJd0tIp
Beautiful descriptions of unrivaled natural breathtaking wonder. Thanks for sharing,
Elizabeth
Thank uou Elizabeth… 🙂
This is absolutely gorgeous. Thank you for sharing your memories with us.
Thank you and you are welcome Bev…:)
Tht’s the kind of scenery that leaves me breathless too.
It’s so beautiful Stan! 🙂
your imagery is so vibrant and alive it enables me to envision every needle on every tree touching the sky…tree after tree blended together in deep fertile green and blue/green…but your poem says so much more beyond the spruce and mountains and enormity of wealth and richness of natural beauty…the visions we have of finding something we cherished so dearly from our past, standing tall, scented memories always with us…a beautiful poem indeed…made my day…
Janice, thank you sincerely for your very kind words – they are much appreciated… I am so pleased this piece ‘spoke’ to you… 😉
Oh, this reminds me of a poem I wrote once about autumn – the way you’ve described everything here just completely took me back to the images I was trying to portray then. I think you did the better job.
Lovely.
Thank you Kelly, but it is not a competition — I am sure yours was wonderful!
The smells that accompany those visions are rich and heady too..I’ve not read any Dean Koontz..am now strongly tempted..jae
Love Dean my friend! 🙂
Such a beautiful tree-filled poem. I too am away from the home of my heart. I relate to this poem of longing……..Oregon is so beautiful – much like my beloved West Coast – Tofino.
Sherry, thank you my friend! Home always heeds thr heart return… 😉
Love it. You painted a paradisal picture of beloved trees.These memories sure makes one breathless.
Thank you Marja! 🙂
love to go hiking so the description you shared has got daydreaming of going on another hike. wonderful imagery.
Thank you Isabel… 🙂
A part of the country I have longed to visit – you make me want it even more. I could see it all through your eyes as I read this.
Come visit Dee, please! 🙂
You really captured the beauty of nature with your words.
Thank you Teri… 🙂
I just love trees – and love this!
Thank youmAnna! 🙂
This dreamscape unfurls like a hike through someone’s memories–vivid and eerie.
It was a journey through dreams to arrive at homecoming Chrissa — something that I have imagined many times during my declining health of recent years.
“Drawn by the beauty”…and you have shared the beauty so well in this poem. Beautiful. Oregon is spectacularly beautiful. I travelled its coastline a couple of times – breathtaking.
Thank you Sherry, very much.
So glad you resurrected this beauty … jazz a great touch. Happy New Year Rob!
Thank you Helen. This is a meld of two older, some what darker drafts, as well as brand new sections. I wanted to bring it to a positive place of homecoming. Trying to elevate my emotional state for 2022.
Wonderful and bright imagery brought before our eyes here Rob! Lovely and so glad to see you on the first Muse of 2022!
Thank you Carrie!
Wonderful and bright imagery here Rob! Lovely! So glad to see you on the first Muse of 2022!
My pleasure Carrie!
Rob, I love the descriptions of the trees, it is clear you know them so well from having walked among them for so many years. I know you moved and don’t have the same access to them as before but they are there, with you. I appreciate how you traveled the path, re-centering yourself again and again. Such a powerful life metaphor. Thank you for the inspiration for 2022.
Thank you Lisa… 🙂 I am hoping for a good year in 2022. May you enjoy the same.
A wonderful brush with Nature and its varieties. Not nearly all for sure but enough to keep us busy trying to remember what all we’ve read of. I do think the writer poet forgot to eat, missed a meal or two.
..
Sacrifice for the sacred word Jim!
You celebrate the circle with both beauty and truth.
Thank you so much Kerfe… 🙂
My favourite of your poems, i think. So much beauty, such a soulful experience – “my heart knows the way” – Oregon is so beautiful. Love the photos!
Thank you Sherry! I haven’t been back down in 4 years, owing to my failing health — but it remains vivid in my memories, and a fire in my heart… 🙂
Homeward to the heartland, that’s the voyage we can all take with eyes closed and stuck fast to our chairs. All of this sings from there.
And for me, the voice is strong, and the song is clear. Thank you for visiting and adding to the journey Brendan.
How beautiful. Your wonderful poem took me to my own places of memory and landscapes I lived and breathed deeply so many years ago. Thank you. It is good to remember these things for they are part of our soul.
Thank you so much Suzanne, I appreciate your gracious words. I am pleased this resonated for you.
You have mapped out the journey and the imagery is exquisite. If you were reading this and I closed my eyes I could easily join as a dream traveler. Unlocking the beauty of nature and all it has to offer. Your heart sings the songs of the land.
I am definitely at my best in nature, my most grounded in nature. The fact that my health has blocked my venture into wilderness nature in the recent years contributes to the continued downturn in my health — it’s a catch 22, and I do not know how to stop the spiral down. It is hard to deal with for me. My only escape into wilderness now is memories. There are many, and I am grateful beyond measure for them — but they are not the same. I have a reasonable idea of what a wild animal must go through when put in a zoo.