This type of poem is known as a haibun, and combines prose with haiku. It is offered in response to the September 20th prompt at Big Tent Poetry.
The Taste
•
It was an embrace I’d wished had been endless, at our tearful farewell – your body supple and warm, pulsing with life.
open softly to kisses
urgently linger
I passed through security, turned and fixed on your gaze – prayed it was not the last time I’d look into your eyes. I wandered dazed down the ramp, to the jet that would take me to the fury of hell. I locked your face of love deep in my heart.
That cherished image proved my grasp on sanity through two years of horror – through the sting of separation, the bitter taste of war, the foul stench of death.
I return this day, facing reality at 30,000 feet, the salt of sadness on my lips. I am ashamed, frightened to see and touch you again, but I burn to do so.
my hands angry with bloodshed
innocence is lost
I fear a kiss from my killer’s mouth, will forever defile your precious lips – lush as sweet cognac, that day we parted.
• • •
rob kistner © 2010
NOTE: this piece is by no means a condemnation of the men and women who are sent into the teeth of hell to fight, suffer, and sometimes die. Rather, it is an expression of my deep respect for what they endure, and a quiet tear for what is so often sadly lost in so doing.
To the core of things. I will go with you if I must. My thought in its way wasn’t so different.
Interesting comment Christopher…
…rob
This is a strong haibun, filled with the emotion of a painful reality. Well done, Rob.
Thank you Mary…
…rob
What drama! You certainly combined the two forms seamlessly.
Thank you Brenda…
…rob
A good use of the form to tell a proper story and the haiku are beautifully written.
You have picked up on the situation which must afflict so many combattants, whether volunteers or pressed men, returning from the ghastliness of war
This form was new to me Viv, but it was interesting to investigate, though a bit odd — but it was fun…
…rob
That lips lush as cognac line was worth repetition. I didn’t even attempt the haiku
Thank you Wysfool, and you should give it a shot — just for fun… 😉
…rob
You did so well with the form. The prose is sheer poetry too!
Haibun: seedy deeds
Wow, this is so powerful! My friend’s son left this week for Afghanistan and he just got married a few months ago so I was totally thinking of him as I read this!
This seems to be a great writing style for you. Bravo!
i like how you’ve echoed the earlier haiku in the final prose bit.
and i think this is a good example of how the alternating prose & haiku create an interesting pace. i am so happy we explored the form!
I appreciate your gracious comments Carolee… the form was foreign to me, the unfamiliarity made the experience interesting, but a tad awkward — because I personally couldn’t get the feel if I had done it correctly… but I enjoyed having at it…
…rob
Thank you very much Gautami…
…rob
Linda, may your friend’s son find his time in country pass quickly and return him home safely…
…rob
Thank you Diane, it was fun…
…rob
Awkward is a good word for this experience of a new form. Taking two difficult forms and trying to marry them made me feel almost foriegn. I didn’t quite manage it, but your flow seems almost easy and constant. Congratulations,
Elizabeth
Thank you ElizaBeth. It was awkward, for me a bit like trying a new athletic form — but I found the experience absorbed me wholly because of the lack of comfort I felt… may not make it a regular part of my repertoire, but glad I was introduced to the haibun…
…rob
So much shared about strength of your survival in such few words about defining moment of life. i read such a testament to how love keeps us sane.
The madness of love is the only sanity in this crazy world of ours Zoo002… 😉
…rob
a farewell post yet unlike mine, this was so much more realistic and sad .. Bravo to people who fare through this …
It requires an extraordinary level of courage, valor, and good fortune to survive intact — physically and emotionally… I have great respect…
…rob
i liked the taste of this Rob….nicely done
Thank you Wayne…
…rob
I like how you mirror the first haiku in the final prose phrase of the poem.
I felt it brought resolution to the piece Pam…
…rob
I read this when you first posted it and liked it very much, especially the haiku, which I think you write especially well.
Good to see you at OneShot, Rob.
Thank you Maureen, you are always kind — for a comparatively newer site, OSW looks to have a nice foundaton…
…rob
rob, been a while since i was here…glad you found us over at one shot…and intriguing form…have not seen it before…emotion runs strong in your words, but not overpowering…very nice.
Thanks Brian, nice to have you visit again…
…rob
I like the style – interesting combo and interesting story woven in the lines.
again thanks for the visit
I just got introduced to the haibun style by Big Tent Poetry Leslie, and found it quite intriguing, though awkward at first — but it grew on me…
…rob
Such vivid recollections between the sips of that sweet cognac. Like your style and the way you create using the form. Thanks for posting for One Shot!
Thank you Adam — and you’re welcome…
…rob
I liked your use of intermittant haiku and I especially liked the line “That cherished image proved my grasp on sanity through two years of horror” – Odd how we sometimes find great internal strength in such little things. Nice One Shot, Rob!
Thank you Eric — yes, sometimes it’s the small things that sustain us…
…rob
so powerful with those emotions and fears woven in your words..also like the cognac kiss imagery and the salt of sadness
Thank you Claudia…
…rob
This gave me chills, Rob. You distill the feelings that these young men and women must endure.
I really enjoyed the form and am looking forward to trying it.
Victoria
You are very gracious Victoria, thank you — and you should try writing a haibun, go here to check out a few…
…rob
Powerful write and close to the bone truth. I think many soldiers throughout time felt those emotions even if they couldn’t express them. Thanks, Gay @beachanny
Glad this resonated for you Gay…
…rob
Sorry I inadvertently entered and the above one got posted, please moderate that comment and here is the one that I wanted to post…
Its nicely written and poignant too… I enjoyed reading it.
Om Namah Shivaya
Thank you Shashi, I am pleased you liked it…
…rob