“This is the 4th anniversary of my wife Kathleen and I moving to Seattle to be with our grandson Alex. I posted this new piece containing mindful reflections on leaving our home in Oregon, and our new Seattle home. The photos are of our Oregon yard in the Cascade Mountain foothills. That is my wife Kathy standing under, and peering up into our 2 giant banana palms. The poem is just below the photos.“
we now have a wonderful
new Seattle home
shared with family
ruled by my little guy
my precious 6-year-old grandson
and I know sweet happiness
but there are moments
with eyes closed
I can gaze back
through time’s window
I see my beloved Oregon home
of 25 amazing years
vividly alive this morning
here in my memories…
through my window this day
I see the scurry of creatures
warmed by the Oregon summer
I hear nature
in splendid voice
the chuff
of a tree’d red squirrel
the song
chirp
and trill of birds
chickadee
goldfinch
western bluebird
and others
fly
flutter
and flit
in a flash of orange
a striking northern flicker
momentarily eschewing insects
is peck peck pecking
cracking black-oil sunflower seeds
that spill from our feeder
a red-tailed hawk
calls
from atop a Sitka spruce
swaying
in the crisp blue sky
the muffled belling of a deer
wandering the safety of old-growth
whispers
through the foothills
the distant bark
of a neighbor’s dog
echoing the basin
up along our stream
reminds me
we have friends nearby
my wife’s
gentle laughter
validates the friendship
her tender smile
validates our love
the rustle of leaves
stirred by the breeze
wafting through the valley
smartly punctuated
by the staccato
of conifer cones
that fall
from time to time
wrested free by chickaree
and chipmunk
chattering high in Douglas fir
busy with their forage
wap wap wap
they bounce off our roof
striking the ground
closely followed
by the scamper
of their liberators
crunching their way
to the heart-meat of the cone
the delicacy
that elicits this furious industry
drifting in the window
intoxicating fragrances
cedar
pine
fir
lily
rose
lilac
grasses
loam
and more
a rich
earthy bouquet
caught in my reverie
I breathe in
deeply
to suddenly remember
…I’m not in my Oregon home
I am in my new Seattle home
and it’s filled to overflowing
with family
and love
for a moment
I do not open my eyes
I linger a bit longer
in my beautiful dream
of my Oregon
my heart will forever be there
but we will likely never go back
not until my ashes are spread
high in the Cascade Mountains
on Mt. Hood
across breathtaking Lost Lake
but here
now
on this day
filled with memories
and joy
a solitary tear
falls
rob kistner © 2019
This new write was a remarkably mind purifying write for me. Click to see how others are purifying their minds on dVerse:
I read the tanka instead of the longer poem since you posted two. Sounds like a good dinner to me!
Thank you Toni. You passed on the primary poem, so I eliminated the tanka tag.
I went back and read the much longer poem. Sounds like you really loved Oregon. I have never been that attached to a place. I have been attached to people though.
Thanks for coming back. I love people, especially family and friends. There are also a great mny people I could easily live without. Until moving to Oregon in 1990, I never understood the power of being in love with place — but I had never lived in paradise… I most certainly do understand now! The essence of life: people and place. The place you live surrounds you and impacts you everyday, you are immersed in it. If you don’t love it, if it does not inspire you, uplift you, make your life better — find a place that does. I wish you both someday Toni! 🙂
Such a breathtakingly beautiful poem this is!!
Thank you Sanaa! 🙂
Rob, this is utterly beautiful and would work for the dVerse poetics prompt I am hosting today- Purifying the Mind. 🙂
Thank you so much Linda. You are always gracious. Yes, it would be perfect for your mindfulness prompt. I just wrote it so I will post it there. 🙂
It must have been hard leaving that gorgeous yard behind. Wonderful photos! But no contest with a small bright-eyed grandson! Lovely to be close by. I loved this look back, and I have known the pang of being away from one’s true home……….
Thank you so much Sherry. Truly bittersweet, Kathy and I missing Oregon so, but loving being with our dear grandson. It’s all good. I am a lucky man. I believe you are in British Columbia, if I understand correctly. So you know the intense power and beauty of this part of the world. Portland, Seattle, Vancouver — 3 gorgeous cities nestled by the ocean, in the surrounding Pacific Northwest paradise.
I’m not sure I’d be able to leave paradise for a grandchild, but then I don’t have any yet. I’d be in love with that landscape too.
He is my only grandson, and going on 73, brittle diabetes, heart failure, pacemaker — I have no idea what time I have left? I want to spend it with Alex, my only grandson. My being adopted, and never knowing who my parents were… my children, and now my grandson, are my only connection to ancestry — and that means a great deal to me. When my grandson smiles at me, hugs me, and says to me, “I love you PaPa” in his sparkling youthful voice — no contest Jane. I have had decades of sojourns through paradise. I now want to watch, and join in long as I can, Alex’s discovery of the world. Besides, we are all still in the Pacific Northwest paradise. 🙂
Incredible, I am simply overwhelmed by the immensity of your memories and feelings. As a fellow Northwesterner I feel that you speak for many of us. I lived a decade in S. CA and every day of it I missed Home. With the birth yesterday of grandchild #9, and having found out who my real father was 5 weeks ago, our parallel lives and minds are in total synch.
Thank you Glenn! I collect memories, good and bad. I am highly visual, so they live in my mind that way. I enjoy pulling them out and occasionally making a tapestry of poetry with them. Nature memories are always vivid with me. Ironically, my short term memory is getting weaker. As bright as my pleasant memories can be, my dark memories can just as vivid. I share only the very surface of my dark memories anf thoughts on here. I fear the nice poets of dVerse would be completely FREAKED OUT if I ever dug deep. I am finally beginning, with the help of my son and daughter-in-law, to dig though my 56 years of lyrics and poetry, to pull together the ones worth putting into a self-published book. I will include some of my truly dark and truly erotic pieces in the collection. So much of the pre-laptop stuff is hand written, so I sm going to have to transcribe all that into digital. DAAAMMN! Hope I live long enough to get something of merit together. And yes bros, we have much in our lives that runs parallel! That is why we connect to each other’s writing.
Beautiful and painful. I struggled to read it through, it brought such painful memories of my own move from a beloved home.
Thank you Xan! If we live long enough, there is a statistic that claims we will likely live in 12 different places? However many it may be, I believe there is one place for each of us, that for different reasons, will ultimately be our favorite. If we are not fortunate enough to live out our
life there, it will bring some sad memories.
I had a tear too reading this Rob. So powerful and personal yet relatable. We find peace in nature and love from family. Beautiful! <3
Thank you so much Christine! 🙂
My hearts are always question marks in your comments !
That’s OK Christine, it’s my site. It is very old, and doesn’t like emojis? When I see your question marks, I will know they are heart… 🙂
As long as the home is filled with family and love it should be good to be there.
That is what’s important FRANK!
Rob you carry the place with you so vividly and your daydreaming takes you back at will. Your situation now, at the hub of family, still in the region, gives you the best of both worlds. I’m happy to hear you’re compiling your poetry and will publish some of it. As to dVerse and sharing darkness from your past, speaking only for myself, I think the dVerse crew can handle whatever you are willing to offer. Thank you yet again for sharing your heart and soul through your words in this poem
You are welcome, and thank you for your continued kindness Lisa! I most certainly have the bestof both worlds and that is not, for one moment, lost on me. Despite all my maladies, this is the happiest, and most comfortable emotionally I have ever been. Perhaps it would be me who would be freaked out sharing some of my darkest demons. I have written a number of them out, and they are unsettling even for me to read. I am excited, and overwhelmed, by this self-publishing project. SO MUCH TO DO! Gathering, transcribing, editing, culling, layout — YIKES! The most time consuming will be transcribing the handwritten stu to digital. And my kids think it should include some of my art!? But with the nudge and support I am receiving, I think I will get something compiled, offering those interested a choice of eBook or paperback. I am being informed there will be a few hardcovers for my family. Shooting for December!? I might make it if I don’t shoot myself in the process… 🙁
Just to let you know, I spent a couple of hours this weekend typing up some handwritten pieces my mother-in-law wrote, to share them with the family. There were things in there I’d never known, nothing too horrific or exciting, but an insight into some of her thoughts and feelings. It was great to have the opportunity to do that, and I really wished she’d written more. I’m sure your children will love to have your book – what an amazing gift for them! A piece of you.
That is truly wonderful that you did that for your family Sarah! That opportunity the share my thoughts through my poetry to my grandson when I am gone, and to my children’s children’s children.
I love your poem, Rob. Your magnificent description of your Oregon home is captivating. But, as you illustrated so well, the mind can always take us there even though we are far away!
Thank you Dwight, for your gracious comment! Memory is so very previous. I imagine the loss of one’s memories, and the ability to recognize the people and places of one’s life, must be one of the cruelest of all human afflictions. It’s a living death — horrible. Devastating to the individual, and brutal for their loved ones. One of the readons I write so vigorously is to hold on to my memory and cognitive function.
Exquisite, you took me there!
Thank you Kate! 🙂
It’s pleasing to have such affinity for a place that it brings you peacefulness.
It is wonderful Ken!
beautiful memories and a beautiful now
Yes Candy, thank you… 🙂
I’m longing to do the same thing, Rob, to move closer to my daughter and grandson. Thank you for the photos, which give me a good idea of what Oregon and Seattle look like – amazing!
I smiled when I read ‘ruled by my little guy’. I’m sure I’ll be the same, if and when we move, looking back at what I know I’ll miss, even though it will be worth the wrench. North Norfolk is quite similar to Oregon in that it is full of nature.
I would not trade being with my grandson Kim. Most fulfilling decision Kathy and I ever made. I want to be able to be in Alex’s life to watch him grow in awareness of the world around him. I also want him to have a strong memory of who his PaPa is.
Fond memories of a wonderful place and a present filled with love and warmth- these are blessings though sometimes it may feel hard. Beautiful pictures.
I am definitely blessed!
I think you experienced paradise on earth, Rob! What beautifully detailed memories and strong sense of belonging to a place. You sacrificed something but glad you make your family a priority!
No regrets Lynn. I hav had, and still have,a wonderful life! 🙂
Your poem came alive with nature’s activity. It reminded me that maybe I never want to move from our paradise even though there is a pull to downsize.
Our lives are impacted over its span by many decisions Colleen, all we can hope is to make the best decision in the moment. Good luck! 🙂
I envy people who have lived in a place long enough to have such memories and attachment. Those will never leave. A wonderful melding of past and present.
Thank you Kerfe for your kind words. For 40 years I tried to find a place where I felt I belonged, where I could feel my heart and soul open, where I could draw close to the ones I love and allow that love to fully unfold, with my new wife and for my children. Where I could find peace of mind, and leave ugly hurtful memories behind me. I found that in Oregon, the Pacific Northwest, in 1990. Not realizing this would happen, I again found the spirit of the man who gave me his name, who adopted me from the orphanage, and who was my rock during a pretty traumatic childhood. This world that is the Pacific Northwest is alive with the same essential wilderness world he took me to in Canada — to explore, understand, and come to love every summer of his life, until his death in 1983. I hadn’t understood how much I missed his presence, until I arrived here and felt it all around me in this same energy that he loved. Wild lakes and rivers to fish, beautiful forests to hike, pristine open land… and something he would have loved — the increfible Oregon Pacific Ocean coast. I also had the blessing of bringing my sons and daughter here to share a part of it with them. My son Justin stayed with me permanently, and now I share his Pacifuc Northwest home. This is more than a place to me, it is a sanctuary — a paradise!
Now I have that Beatles’ song running through my head – “There are places I remember” – such amazing detailing – I was there, with you. Such loss, and yet such gain in your decision. I think, on balance, you were right to go with people, but places matter, too.
People are always the correct choice Sarah… 🙂 “In My Life” is a beautiful song!
How one treasures memories. Daydreaming can go a long way back and one often wonders the strength imposed by the chirping of birds and the greenery outside the window. Great write Rob, especially the main verse which took a lot of thinking.
Hank
Thank you Hank, and yes, it is wonderful to drift back through those rich memories.
A beautiful, evocative witness to home, Rob!
Thank you Frank!