*To watch me read “To Fly”: CLICK HERE
To want to fly — the fantasy
that many likely dream
to swoop about
arms spread straight out
so giddy one would scream
soar off the ground — be light as air
zoom high above rooftops
to be weightless
to feel no stress
you’d pray it never stops
to ride the thermals when you’d want
right up there with the birds
you’d feel so free
so much you’d see
one could not find the words
excited — breathless — wonderful
so joyful you might cry
how to express
such happiness
see me world — I can fly
*
rob kistner © 2022
~ This is a version of the poem in nearly pure “Roundabout Form”. ~
To want to fly — the fantasy
caught up in freedom’s dream
arms spread straight out
you swoop about
caught up in freedom’s dream
pierce through the clouds — like a light beam
zoom high — above rooftops
to be weightless
to feel no stress
so high — above rooftops
riding the thermals — all fear stops
swept up in happiness
so much you’d see
you’d feel so free
swept up in happiness
excited — you’d be just breathless
flying so joyfully
ride the jet stream
lost in your dream
flying so joyfully
*
rob kistner © 2022
Poetry at: dVerse
Poetry at: Poets & Storytellers
Hi Rob – I love the high flying feeling of this poem but its not a Roundabout! the regime is quite tricky — do check again
aBccB bCddC cDaaD dAbbA (the capitals denote the repeat lines)
would not take much to rewrite accordingly as you are nearly there
– there is an example poem with the prompt for added help
I went back and looked more closely Laura. Now I have posted a pure roundabout. I left my original poem also following the pure roundabout. Thank you for pointing that out Laura, I didn’t catch it the first time. 😉
Bravo Rob – still flying but round and round the Rounadbout! Some really good lines summarized in the feeling of being
“caught up in freedom’s dream” and subtle rhymes within the stricture of the structure!
Thank you Laura. I hadn’t paid close attention. I think ~ actually I know 😉 ~ I rebel subconsciously against strictly prescribed form. They can be fun, like a puzzle, but I reach my most authentic expression when I write unrestrained. I am not a student of poetry, I am a student of short free-form communicating of emotion and atmosphere. Writing the Roundabout was fun though. 🙂
Another wonderful poem, my friend. I have dreamt of flying many a nights. Once in a dream I sprouted wings. The fantasy of flight took off in your poem full of delight.
Oh, to be no longer restricted to only walking, but to be able to soar — that would be simply fantastic True! 😉
This is utter fantastic’ness, Rob!
~David
Thank you so much David… 🙂
Rob, the way you dream about flying, it tells me that you flew in a previous life or that you will fly in your next life. I see you as tall, colorful bird that wades along fresh waters, yet also flies high over the mountains <3
From your lips to fate’s ears Lisa… 😉 I would love it. I’d be a new breed of heron.
I enjoyed your beautiful poem that takes me back to childhood. We all wanted to fly and to be seen doing it!
Thank you Dwight… I certainly wanted to fly when I was young, I still do! 😉
Pure joy!
Pure freedom Dora… 🙂
flying dreams are the best
Without a doubt Lona… 🙂
I enjoyed both versions, and well done for transforming the first one to a roundabout. I was zooming up there with you, ‘caught up in freedom’s dream’. I like the slight change in the second stanza from ‘zoom high — above rooftops’ to ‘so high — above rooftops’.
Thank you Kim… 🙂
I used to dream of flying and usually it included falling. I don’t think I want to fly anymore but I would swim if the water is warm. I forgot that psychedelic Beatles song was called Flying. Good to hear.
I have never had the falling part Colleen. That would not be pleasant. My flying dreams and fantasies are high speed and high flying — thankfully… 🙂
Luv your rhymes and the lightness in your poem.
I too didn’t get it right. There are do many elements to this form.
I spent some of my insomnia hours at it again last night. Think i got it now. I even started another one today.
Wont be beaten by this form
Have a nice weekend
Much?love
I hear you Gillena. It is not difficult to write a Roundabout, but it is confusing to keep track of what is supposed to rhyme with what. I am nit a natural fan of convoluted poetic forms. For me, they dilute and confuse the emotion snd atmosphere that I enjoy presenting.
Beautoful, Rob. You took me up there with you!
Thank you Sherry… 🙂
This is wonderful. The words and images meld perfectly.
Thank you Suzanne… 🙂
I, too, sometimes dream about this. Your soaring words make me want to fly even more.
I am pleased… 🙂
Your poem makes me wish I could fly. I really like that you shared both versions. It isn’t often that we get a window into another’s process. Thanks for sharing.
I am pleased this resonated for you Ali… 🙂 The first one was pure inspiration. The second was a re-engineering to make it fit the form.
I am very fortunate in being able to fly too…JS Bach does that for me !
Ole JS ain’t a half bad player Rall — I hear you… 🙂
I think your first version captures the mood beautifully!
Thank you Rosemary… It my favorite of the two… 🙂
The closest I’ve got to that sense of flying and freedom is paragliding which I tried a long time ago. But to be up there with the birds- how marvellous is that thought!
Free as a bird… 🙂
A wonderful, joyful and freeing poem, Rob – thank you!
You are welcome and thank you Ingrid I appreciate the kind words. 🙂
You took me up into the clouds Rob! A wonderful poem!
Thank you Kim… 🙂
How we wish we can soar with the birds and the air currents. Your poem gives us that feeling.
Structured poetry can be fun too. 🙂
I love it all dsnake, just love others a bit more… 🙂
Those repeated lines are really tricky… good work in transforming. I do love the idea in writing about flying.
The Roundabout was fun Bjorn, as a puzzle can be fun. But I feel my less restrained version of “To Fly”, best expresses my soul’s emotions, regarding what I was envisioning.
Oh to fly away, anytime and anywhere! Sign me up Rob. This was lovely. Both versions.
Thank you Christine… 🙂